Marionette(My Strings Are Titanium, You Cannot Cut Them)

Burned Either Way

"I want to talk to you."
"Oh, I blocked the tracker on your phone through this chat. No one will see any of this without actually looking at your phone. Can't disable it entirely from here, though."

That confirmed Goro's assumption that this was an exceptionally skilled hacker. At least it was some reassurance.

"About what?"

Goro didn't let himself be tricked into thinking there was nothing sinister afoot. Who hacked someone just for a conversation?

"About my friend. Kinda doin this as a favor for him."
"My name's Futaba Sakura, btw."
"I say favor, but he doesn't know. Kinda promised him not to, technically."

That was a name Goro recognized. Of course he did. There was no way this was the same girl, right? He'd only heard her surname changed because she was taken in by a friend of her mother's. It was certainly a coincidence.

"May I know who this friend is, Sakura-Kun?"

He was getting annoyed by how vague she was being.

"Akira Kurusu."
"Idk everything, but I know you guys were friends before you blocked him."
"And he's still a mess over it."

Goro had to read over the message a few times. This was about Kurusu? How much of a supposed mess could that man possibly be over him for a hacker to get involved? He recognized the surname as being shared by Leblanc's owner. Could this girl be related to him? Most likely.

"I'm sure you're overreacting. We weren't friends for very long."

She was overreacting, wasn't she? There was no way Kurusu cared for him that much.

"His grades have been dropping the past month. Plus, he hasn't been eating as much, and he's having trouble sleeping."
"His teacher called. She's worried about him. And his school counselor recommended he start going to an actual therapist."
"Wish I was exaggerating. It's not all cause of you, but it's definitely not helping. The idiot misses you."

Goro stared at the screen, biting his lip as he took in Sakura's words. The timeframe may match up, but that didn't mean his absence was at all involved with the decline in Kurusu's mental health. He was worried, of course, but there was nothing he could do.

"Do you have any proof that I'm at all related?"

Would it be worse if he wasn't? Goro was so close to the edge already, finger often hovering over the button to unblock Kurusu and beg forgiveness if need be. He'd been secretly hoping for an excuse.

"He's been waiting for you at the station for an hour every day, just in case. He's cried over you specifically. He admitted that he's pretty much always thinking about you. Akira doesn't give up, for better or for worse."
"He told me that he's pretty sure you're doing this to protect him. I know he was lying, though. He's just trying to convince himself that. He thinks you hate him or finding annoying. It's bullshit, but he won't listen."
"Akira doesn't want you to protect him, he just wants to be your friend."

Goro chuckled, the sound catching in his throat. To think, in his efforts, all he'd managed to do was hurt the man more.

"Of course I don't hate him, he's incredibly important to me. That's why I shut him out. You're right, I was trying to protect him. I had no idea how much I meant to him, it seems."
"I must apologize, but I need more time before I'm ready to talk to him. Will you let him know what I've said? It really isn't my intention to worry him."

If that was really how Akira felt, Goro would be more cruel to continue avoiding him. He supposed, no matter how much it would prove to hurt in the end, he'd simply try to make Akira happy these next few months. The end result would be the same, and he dreaded seeing the man's eyes as a friend proved to be his murderer, but that was only a moment. He'd kill him quick.

"Okie dokie, I'll do that."
"Don't hurt him again, k? I can leak pretty much any info about ya to your fans."
"Mwehehehehe"

Goro sighed. This girl acted like a child, but then again she very well may be one. He knew well not to overlook the capabilities of someone young.

"It brings me no joy to cause him pain, I promise."

And it was true. Goro cared deeply for Akira, more than he'd ever admit aloud. He knew that taking Akira's life would prove the hardest thing he'd ever done. But he would, because frankly, it would be better he die at Goro's hands. Goro wouldn't torture him.

The chat log vanished before Goro's eyes, and he was sure Sakura was responsible. He was curious, however, about the presumably young girl who was so talented at hacking.

Looking through the files he had access to, Goro found no criminal record to speak of. However, he went rigid seeing the truth. This girl was the daughter of Wakaba Isshiki after all. Adopted two years prior by Sojiro Sakura after her remaining family either mistreated or flat-out refused her.

What would she think if she knew she'd been talking to the man who'd murdered her mother? That she'd convinced him to mend the friendship he'd broken out of fear with someone she clearly cared for? 

When Goro had learned what happened after his first murder, he wasn't able to eat for days. It was a cruel joke, that his first victim's death was the catalyst for so much suffering. That his choice caused a girl to live through the same torture he had. Being blamed for a mother's suicide was something Goro knew all too well. Only, he knew the same was untrue of Sakura.

At least she seemed to be doing well. He didn't know much of her fate after the owner of Leblanc adopted her, but Goro assumed him to be a kind man based on what he did know. At least in that way, their fates differed.

That tiny bit of reassurance didn't stop Goro from puking. The memory was one of few that never failed to empty his stomach. Of course this would be the outcome. Of course he'd find the only friend he'd made in years was under the protection of the same man as Futaba Isshiki. His eyes burned as harshly as his throat.

He'd been doing so well, too. Goro had been keeping busy enough that he'd actually been managing to keep most meals down. There was a small sense of pride in it, though it was quickly replaced with disappointment in himself for feeling accomplishment in managing something the majority didn't think twice about.

It was late. Goro should sleep. He uncovered his mirror to properly remove his makeup, and even with the shell his eyes were dull and his posture slumped. If he could have any wish, consequences and reality be damned, he just wanted to confess everything to Akira. Everything he'd done, every atrocity committed at his hands. He wanted to be protected.

For the dozenth time this month at least, Goro broke into tears. He carefully wiped off his makeup, revealing pale skin and the black eye that was a bitch to hide. Goro shook, he'd long since given up stopping his tears running freely. Though he tried to deny it, he needed Akira. Needing his friendship, his comfort, his insistence that Goro text him just to make sure he was safe. He couldn't manage without it.

Behind a camera, beyond the door of his apartment, Goro was the ever perfect 'second coming of the detective prince.' With his natural charisma, his charming smile, his celebrity status. 

Seeing Sakura call him Goro Aoki stuck to his brain, too. Never had he been called that name, only known as Goro long after he discarded his mother's surname. Nor did it feel right, being called Aoki. That was his mother, not him. He didn't quite consider himself Akechi, either, preferring simply to think of himself as Goro. That was the name he chose, after all, one of so precious few parts of his life under his control alone.

That had been yet another thing making Akira special. He was the only other person in the world who called him Goro. It was freeing. It was intimate. It meant everything to him. He needed to feel that again. 

Who had he been kidding, telling Sakura he needed time? Time was far too limited to ask for now. What he needed was to swallow his pride and his fears and make sure Akira didn't have to worry for him anymore. Not until the very end.