The return

Chapter 5

Joy woke up sprawled on the couch still wearing yesterday's clothes. She forced herself to get up, went to wash her face and tidy herself up and without having breakfast because her stomach was still closed, she went to the general store.

Thompkins, when he saw her, asked: "What happened to you? You look devastated"

"Oh it's nothing, last night I didn't digest dinner, I was sick all night and I didn't sleep a wink. I'll pass soon"

"You could have stayed at home and taken care of yourself if you wanted"

"It's not necessary, thanks, I'll be fine"

Thompkins shook his head: he hadn't believed a word the girl had told him.

Buck returned late in the morning and did not eat breakfast. He immediately went to the stable and began to take care of the horses. Rachel had noticed that he had returned and with some coffee in a cup she had joined him: "How are you Buck? You made us worry. Here, I brought you some hot coffee"

"Thank you Rachel. I had a lot to think about and had to be alone"

"AND?"

"And what?"

"What did you decide?"

"I don't feel like talking about it"

"Buck, please don't throw away something beautiful because of your fears and your bias. Joy is a really good girl, she doesn't deserve you to treat her like that. Do you really have no feelings for her?"

Buck decided to be honest. He sipped some coffee and then said: "I don't know Rachel, I really don't know. I feel attracted to her but I can't let go, I'm afraid of making mistakes again"

"Follow your heart Buck, it can't always go wrong, there's the right woman out there for you, but if you ever let yourself go, you won't recognize her."

She turned away from him and went to Joy's in the store.

"Hi Joy"

She replied with a shy smile. Rachel took advantage of the fact that Thompkins was busy with a client to speak openly with her friend: "Don't despair, give him time and he will come looking for you"

"After yesterday? I really don't think Rachel. I've decided to stay on my own, I can't bear the gaze and judgment of the boys, I'm too ashamed"

"You should never be ashamed of your feelings, especially when they are pure and sincere. You will see that soon things will be resolved. I understand your reasons, but I hope we'll still be friends."

"Of course Rachel, I love you, I just can't make it to the station like before"

"I understand. I'm here if you need, I'll come to you"

"Thank you, you're a friend"

"You too. Please, have faith" and bought a jar of jam to silence Thompkins.

Buck was silent and elusive all day, and at lunchtime there was much tension between the boys. No one dared to refer to what had happened the night before and no one felt like talking. Luckily there was Jesse who, understanding the situation, tried to make jokes as usual.

In the afternoon, Lou approached Buck who was preparing her horse for her ride.

"How are you Buck?"

Buck shrugged and didn't answer her.

"I don't want to mind your business, but you must have a clarification with her, to tell her anything, even if you don't feel anything for her, but you can't ignore her like this"