★ LABYRINTH ★ JAX X GN! READER || TADC

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~jax pov~

I walked through the circus, all the lights dimmed to near complete darkness as I held a sleeping y/n in my arms bridal fashion, their head resting against my shoulder. It took all my effort to not keep my smiling eyes on their peaceful, sleeping form and instead look where I was walking so I wouldn't trip and fall. It hadn't taken long for y/n to fall asleep in the darker area of the daycare, and I was unsure of what to do at first.

I eventually made it to the hallway, everyone's doors shut and the random objects scattered about the walls dimly glowing their neon light. I stopped gingerly and look down at y/n, my eyebrows furrowing. What should I do? I don't want to go into their room without permission (even knowing I had without their knowing- been in their room in the past). I didn't want to take them to my room, that would be weird. Besides, I have possessions that are for my eyes only. I don't want to just drop them off in the hallway...I suppose I'll wake them?

I gently nudged y/n with my shoulder, and they weakly groaned, shifting their face deeper into my shoulder. I felt like melting on the spot. "Yeah?"  They groaned in a whisper. "It's night. Where do you want me to take you?" I said quietly, as not to startle them.

"Mmm...I'll just go to my bed."  They sighed tiredly. I waited in silence for them to make an attempt to move, and stifled a chuckle when they still lay limp and calm in my arms. "Do you want me to just put you in there?" I asked gently. They nodded silently, the one side of their pretty face slightly aglow from the dim neon light.

I smiled and grabbed a golden key from my back pocket, which I had for energies of course, and opened y/n's door. 

I turned on the bedside lamp, y/n still in my arms, and placed a thin dark cloth over it so I could still see without the light being too glaring. 

I pulled back the top blanket and gingerly placed y/n down on the bed, covering them with the blanket again. They covered their eyes with their arm and shifted their head away from me, their breath falling back into a rhythmic, calm pace. I held back for a moment, making sure they were comfortable before a breathed deeply in relief.

I looked around y/n's room, the memories from when I was last in here washing over me like a cold, painful wave. I looked at the desk. Had they noticed anything? I don't think so... 

A new thought accorded to me that now that y/n was asleep, I could snoop around. But as much as I thought it was a good idea, I couldn't bring myself to even take the first step of executing said idea. To me, going through their things (with good intentions for everyone else in the circus, of course), was with good morals. But when they were sleeping peacefully, unassuming, and after the such great time that unfolded these past hours...it felt wrong. Man, this sucked. If I thought that was wrong, then I'm going to start thinking everything else is wrong: shopping around their room, growing close to them for my benefit...and then the entire plan would fall apart.

I stood at the end of the bed, my glove over my mouth and my eyebrows furrowed as I was deep in thought. 

"Jax?..."

My ears shot up as I turned to y/n. Their eyes were lidded, near entirely closed as they stared at me tiredly in the almost pitch-black.

"Thank you..."  they mumbled.

My face felt as if it was lit on fire as my ears stiffened in the air. I was silent for a moment, my mouth open but no words coming out. "Uhhh-um- you're welcome, toots." I chuckled awkwardly. But I could tell by their silence and breathing pattern that they were already asleep before I could finish my thought.

I stood there a moment longer, my face still burning and the gears in my head spinning over why I got so flustered and bothered over a simple praise. I quickly left the room and leaned against their door out in the hallway, my gloves covering my burning face. You jerk! You were really just considering poking around their room when their asleep and then they thanked you??!!?  I cursed myself in my mind, which did no good since Caine's swear censors applied there too...

I took my gloves off my face and my ears dropped. I hated this. I was going to break their heart. pft. so pretentious...they probably don't even like me. I thought to myself. But the worst  part, the part that brought me physical pain?: ragatha was right. I was growing attached to them, I was falling for them, hard. Maybe it's because they, even after I've been near nothing but a jerk to them, gave me attention. 

I loved getting attention, it was my favorite thing. Sure, attention from other was nice, but I usually derived it from driving them up a wall and annoying the hell out of them. But y/n, when they looked at me, talked to me, even insulted me...I got that same satisfaction.

I breathed deeply and shoved my hands in my pockets, leaning the back of my head against y/n's door as I stared up at the ceiling. Hopefully all the pain would be over once I gather enough evidence to reveal y/n is a spy, I'll come to the full recognition that they had nothing but ill intentions and only wanted to hurt everyone. right?

right?...

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

thank you guys so much for being supportive of my hiatus. you all are so cool and your comments of appreciation just make me so happy. updates will be slow, but that's because things will be getting a lot  juicier...