Testing My Luck in the New World

One moment I was chasing the woman I'd hoped against hope I could at least talk to, the next I found myself in an eerily white room that seemed to expand far beyond what I should have been able to see. No color filled the sky and no shadows gave the world any depth. It was a void. There were no suns or moons hanging over me, and no arcing horizon far off in the distance hiding the lands outside the city limits I'd become accustomed to. The burning streets lights I remembered seeing only a moment ago were gone entirely. There were no sources of light anywhere I looked and yet, it was bright enough to almost blind me.

"Where am I?"

With no one there to answer me, I was left alone with my thoughts as I winced and tried to force my eyes back into working order so they might help me make sense of this.

It almost felt like a dream. A particularly vivid one where I was aware I was sleeping and could interact with my dream world as I saw fit. Only I was never much of a lucid dreamer. In fact, not only had I failed to become one after learning how and trying it out for myself, but most nights I didn't even dream to begin with. I just let my head hit the pillow, closed my eyes and let sleep take me as per usual.

It wasn't exactly hard to assume all that had just happened was just a dream. I was so detached from my own life that I genuinely couldn't remember feeling much of anything. The feel of my pillow against my head. The softness of Lucy's fur. The bitter taste of the coffee I chugged. Or the burning in my chest that finally spurred me on. I'd forgotten it, same as I always did on the nights where my brain managed to cook up something just entertaining enough to keep me satisfied for the duration of my slumber.

Is this white room what it feels like to lucid dream in a dreamless world? If so, I'd wake up in no time and forget all about it. But the idea of that was almost as jarring as the thought that that girl might get snatched up by some other unseen man on her run.

No. It didn't matter. If that moment was a dream, I couldn't let myself forget how it felt to actually try at something for once.

I had to remember. I would remember, wake up and write it all down so I couldn't forget. And when I saw her for real this time, I'd take the same steps I took then.

Working my brain into overdrive, I pressed my eyes shut and recalled everything I could about that morning, that dream.

I remembered getting up, feeding Lucy, eating a quick breakfast and leaving for work. I avoided actually speaking to the girl that stole my interest and she passed by on her morning jog. That girl, whose name I didn't know, kept mostly to herself as she ran. Meanwhile, I stared at her ass wrapped up so tightly in her black leggings. Just faintly, in hindsight, I think I could see the outline of her panties.

I shook my head. That's not what I needed to remember. Think, damn you. If everything up until now was so easy, why should this be hard? What happened next?

We always walked in the same direction, me to a job I hated, her just running her worries away and never once stopping to start up the conversation I longer for. Only, she did something that finally spurred me on to break that cycle. My chest pounded almost as hard as my feet against the cold cement of the sidewalk. I vaguely recall her turning around to look, probably at the sudden burst of noise that distracted her from the sounds coming from her earbuds.

She was beautiful. Even with her skin lightly coated in a morning dew of sweat, she was too much for me. And yet, I managed to pull out some fight and I ran. Yes.

She turned and her eyes spotted me. Maybe there was a brief glimpse of confusion, a twist to her brow that suggested confusion in the face of the man that never did more than walk behind her, but I had to hope against hope that I didn't hallucinate the small smile that spread across her lips when she turned. Even if it was a casual one.