UNIRONIC Spongebob x Reader

Chapter 1

Stood behind the register was none other than Squidward Tentacles. You always liked that fella, what with him being super relatable and overall an enjoyable character from the show.

Squidward stared at you, wide-eyed, before finally muttering, "Uhh... May I... take your order?"

"Um..." You nervously twiddled your thumbs. Something felt stuck in your throat. You shouldn't be this anxious to order food, you're normally good with that stuff, but this was Squidward you were speaking to. He might as well just be a celebrity, so of course you were a little shy.

Squidward's expression quickly became annoyed as he deadpanned, "I don't got all day."

"S-Sorry! Can I have uh, one Krabby Patty... and... a small Seafoam Soda. Please."

"Greeeaat. That'll be 2.25." Squidward extended his tentacle hand, which kinda freaked you out so much that you almost forgot to pay. You handed him three dollar bills, then he gave you your change.

While walking back to find a table, you glanced around to see that the entire restaurant was STILL STARING at you. You were used to mild staring on the surface, being the weirdo you are, but this was making you incredibly uncomfortable. You decided it was best to just ignore them; you'd rather not make a scene.

You looked up at one of the employee doors on the far left. You knew Mr. Krabs was in there. You smirked. Your eyes shifted to view the small window behind Squidward.

Your smile faded, and your chest seemed to have that sinking feeling of realization. This was the Spongebob Squarepants universe you'd found yourself in. You gulped. So, naturally, that'd mean...

The kitchen door burst open. "ORDER NUMBER SEVENTEEN!!!" cooed a familiar sea sponge.

Oh. My. God. It was Spongebob Squarepants himself, in all his glory. The yellow square held a tray in his hand with your food, but that was probably the last thing you cared about at this point. Your heart thumped like crazy inside of your chest. He was gonna walk to your table any second now. Get ready. Oh god.

Spongebob's eyes eventually met with yours. His gap-toothed smile wiped itself off his face instantly at the sight of you.

"Fuuuuuck. I'm done for." You whispered to yourself. You were so, SO embarrassed already, and he hadn't even spoken to you yet. You were a human. And he wasn't. Nobody here was. So of course you stood WAY out like a sore, infected, throbbing thumb. And poor ol' Spongebob had the misfortune of looking at you.

Spongebob walked over to your table with a blank expression, staring much like the other fish had. He placed down the food, then quickly hid behind the table, peeking over it at you curiously.

"Thank you," you said, smiling shyly.

"Hi." Spongebob greeted, a blush creeping up on his face.

"...Hello," You politely replied.

He continued looking at you, silently. You averted your eyes slightly, as the eye contact was getting a little awkward for you.

"Are you a huuuumaaan?" He asked in the tone of a curious child.

"...I am," you simpered, glancing up at him again. It was silent between the two of you once more. Spongebob's eyes looked down at the patty, staring hard as if he was requesting that you try the sandwich.

"Um..." You picked up the Krabby Patty, inspecting it. It smelled pretty good. You looked over at Spongebob again, whose eyes seemed to light up in response to your understanding of his cue.

You took a bite of the burger.

Oh hell yeah. It was good. Really, really good! The people of Bikini Bottom weren't kidding, these really are the best patties around! It was the best burger you've ever tasted, heck, the best thing you've ever eaten, maybe. You eagerly took another bite, smiling.

"Ah- This is super tasty!" You mumbled, mouth full of patty. Spongebob raised himself up from his hiding spot, bouncing up and down on his tip-toes with the biggest smile on his face.

"Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are humans," Spongebob squeaked as he spoke. "Do you know them?"

"Uh, n-no but I've... heard of them..." You stammered.

"Boy, they're the greatest! We should watch their show together some time! Can we be friends?"

You nodded. "Oh! Sure...! Yeah, we can-"

"SPONGEBOB!! HURRY UP OVER THERE!!" Squidward yelled from across the restaurant. "A LINE'S FORMING!"

"Well, I'm glad you like the patty! What's your name, by the way?" Spongebob beamed, ignoring Squidward completely.

"(Y/N)'s my name...Uh-"

"NOW, SPONGEBOB!!" Squidward angrily shook his fist. Spongebob looked back at him frantically.

"I'm Spongebob! I have to go for now, but we can talk later!" Spongebob whispered to you, winking, and ran back to the kitchen.

Your gaze followed him as he scooted away, your eyes lingering on the kitchen door after it closed. Your expression softened.

From time to time, Spongebob would rush out of the kitchen to serve food. He'd make playful glances and smile at you each time he was in and out. It gave you butterflies when he did; you couldn't help but smile back at the sweetheart. It became exciting to see the kitchen door open, even though you knew exactly who would be coming out of it to give you a smile.