I'm sorry...for everything

[5]

Before him stood Sand, his expression etched with concern as he tentatively withdrew his hand from Ray's back. The sight of him brought forth a flood of memories, transporting Ray back to countless instances outside P'Yo's bar, where Sand had been a steadfast presence during his moments of inebriation. These memories, though tinged with pain, offered a glimmer of comfort amidst the chaos of Ray's emotions.

Tears welled in Ray's eyes as he reached out to Sand, their fingers intertwining in a silent plea for reassurance. Ray opened his mouth to speak, to pour out the torrent of emotions swirling within him, but Sand's gentle shake of the head silenced him, urging him to let go of the words that threatened to spill forth.

With a silent understanding passing between them, Sand extended his arm, a silent invitation for Ray to rise. And as their fingers interlocked, a silent promise of a fresh start hung in the air. Together, they stood up, their intertwined hands serving as a beacon of hope guiding them forward, and began to walk back towards the bar, their synchronized footsteps echoing through the hallways as they navigated the uncertain path ahead.

During the seemingly interminable walk, not a word passed between them. Ray felt the weight of unspoken words pressing against his lips, yearning to break free, yet he hesitated, reluctant to disrupt the fragile equilibrium that existed between them. With Sand maintaining a stoic silence since their reunion, Ray chose to follow suit, opting for silence over the potential complications that words could bring.

Upon entering what appeared to be an office, Sand gestured towards a chair positioned by a small desk, silently offering Ray a place to sit. As Sand busied himself with the water heater on the other side of the room, preparing tea, Ray settled into the chair, his mind awash with a flurry of emotions. The air hung heavy with unspoken questions and uncharted possibilities.

Finally, Sand settled into the chair opposite Ray, a steaming cup of tea in each hand. He handed one to Ray before retrieving a block of post-it notes quickly writing something down. With a small, wordless gesture, he passed the note to Ray, inviting him to read its contents.

It's been so long Ray. It's good to see you. How have you been?

Ray blinked in confusion, his gaze fixed on the brief message before him. Uncertain of how to respond, he found himself at a loss for words. His mind raced as Ray struggled to find the right words to convey the tumult of emotions swirling within him. Each passing moment felt like an eternity, the weight of Sand's gaze bearing down on him as he searched for a response.

Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, Ray finally met Sand's gaze, his eyes reflecting a mix of gratitude, longing, and uncertainty. "It's been... difficult." He began haltingly, his voice barely above a whisper. "But seeing you again...it's...I feel like everything is going to get better."

Sand nodded as he listened intently to Ray's words, his expression betraying the weight of the words left unspoken between them. Ray's voice trembled as he struggled to find the right words to voice the questions that weighed heavy on his heart.

"Sand, what happened? Are you alright, or...why..." Ray's voice trailed off, the unspoken question lingering in the heavy atmosphere like an unspoken plea for answers. With a resigned sigh, he handed the block of post-it notes back to Sand, silently urging him to share the burden of their shared past.

Sand's hand moved deftly across the surface of the post-it, his movements deliberate as he transcribed his thoughts into written words. Handing the note back to Ray, he watched with guarded anticipation as the smaller read the message before him.

I have selective mutism. The note read, the words stark against the pale backdrop, piercing through Ray's thoughts like a knife. I can still talk, but I've been struggling to get my voice back completely.