Matters To Me

Billy started working around the place, helping with the horses as he gained his strength, enjoying the peacefulness of the place with Missie. Here he wasn't an outlaw, or William H. Bonney he could just be Billy again.

Billy was out working when Missie came out with a pale of water for him, handing him the ladle. He took a sip from it and then handed it back to her. She had left her hair down, her curls wild and blowing in the wind, she was beautiful like a wildflower and beautifuly glowing.

He couldn't help himself as he kissed her, cupping her face. She didn't protest and instead wrapped an arm around his shoulder as he had leaned down. He wrapped his free arm around her waist and picked her up as he stood back to his full height.

They were interrupted by the sound of horses galloping towards them, men shouting in the distance. Billy slowly pulled away and turned his head to look right as the men arrived. Billy gently set Missie down, but kept his arm around her as Barbara came running out of the house and laughing and squealing as she jumped into Jesse's arms.

Missie had told Billy about Jesse being in the gang and the one who found him. However, she kept the night of her arrival to herself. Jesse was more than likely drunk and he had Barbara to itch his yearnings. Billy knew of her disdain of him for leaving Billy in a moment of trouble anyways.

Billy glanced at Missie, brushing her hair out of the way as it blowed in the wind, while Jesse and Barbara exchanged a long kiss.

Jesse then slowly made his way towards them.

"Billy," he greeted. "You're alive!" he smiled.

"I guess I am," Billy smiled back.

"I've missed you," He replied with a hand on his shoulder. "Thank God we found you. Fellas, this here is a very old friend of mine, Kid Antrim. Billy, Bob Olinger, John Beckwith," Jesse said, pointing at the two men on horses.

"Good to meet you," Billy said.

Olinger just looked away and spit.

"Hope Barbara has been taking care of you?"

Barbara came up and wrapped her arm around Jesse with a smile on her face, resting her head on his shoulder.

"She couldn't have been kinder to me and Missie," Billy answered, his arm falling from Missie's waist and finding her hand.

~

Barbara and Missie prepared dinner for all the boys as they all sat around the table, loudly chatting and drinking.

Missie plated up some of the bread she had made earlier and Billy came into the kitchen. Missie smiled at him as she handed him the plater, pecking his lips.

"Go have a seat honey," she smiled, patting his chest.

"Yes Ma'am," he smiled, following her orders and sitting down at the table, setting the plater on the table.

"Make some room," Jesse said, also setting a bowl of potatoes down.

Missie came and sat next to Billy, scooting her chair closer to him and the table.

"We've seen posters of you!" Beckwith said.

"Yeah, that might be a problem, I mean if you wanted to ride with us," Ollinger noted. "You being wanted and your picture everywhere."

"That picture don't look anything like Billy," Jesse said.

"Hey, hey. I'm just saying, Jesse," Ollinger said with a shake of his head.

"If I want Billy to ride with us... then he rides with us. Got that?" Jesse said.

"Yup."

"Enough said."

The men cheered and toasted their cups, laughing.

Missie glanced at Billy, sudden disappointment setting in. Riding with Jesse? Again? It didn't end good the first time, and it certainly won't end good a second. She was foolish to think that Billy could just leave this world behind and they could live rurally. She felt the baby flutter and she gently placed a hand on her stomach.

She slowly took a drink, setting the cup back down, Billy slowly rested her hand on hers, like he could sense her hesitancy.

He glanced at her, his thumb gently caressing her palm. The two getting lost in each other's eyes, unaware of the pair that stared at them with jealousy.

~

The two of them made their way outside after dinner, away from the noise of the crowd. Billy sat down, glancing at the stars above. Missie slowly wrapped her shawl around her and Billy patted his knee, encouraging her to sit. She sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, playing with his curls. They had gotten long over the past few weeks.

"Our baby will have curls," She whispered with a smile.

Billy sighed as his hand found her bump. He knew how much the last couple of weeks had meant to her, how she didn't want it to change, yet she didn't mention it.

"What's wrong?" She asked, her hand resting on top of his.

"I want to give you the life you want," he whispered. "But I don't know how, I'll always be a wanted man. You deserve so much better, someone better, you and the baby."

"Hey! Don't ever say that again Billy McCarty!" Missie exclaimed. "You're a good man, Billy. You don't have to ride with them just because you're a wanted man. You don't have to! We can go somewhere else if you want."

"You deserve this quiet life-" Billy started but she placed her finger on his lips, quietting him.

"I love you, Billy. Wherever you go, that is my home. Whether you decide to ride with the gang or not. I would rather you not, I can't stand Jesse or his men. But, if you want to, I won't get in your way. I support you whatever your decision is be it staying, or leaving for somewhere else."

Billy slowly kissed her. "I don't deserve you."

"Based on what?"

Billy thought about it a moment and shrugged his shoulders. "Lots of things."

"Well I don't care about those 'things'. I see your heart and you deserve happiness."

"You make me happy."

"Good, because I try so very hard," she teased.

Billy laughed, kissing her cheek. "You don't even have to try."

The two of them made their way back, hand in hand to their bedroom.

Billy closed the door, unbuttoning his shirt before he slowly approached Missie, gently brushing her hair away from her neck. He softly brushed his lips against her ear as he slowly undid her corset. His fingers gently brushed her skin as she stepped out of her dress, left in only her chemise.

Billy watched as she picked up her dress and folded it, he watched as she slowly crossed the room to set it down. He noticed how tired she was as she crawled onto the bed.

He slowly reached her, gently massaging her feet and legs. She sighed in relief, her head nestling her pillow as her arm splayed on her stomach.

Billy softly kissed her calf as he massaged, his lips trailing kisses up her thigh as he pulled the fabric up further.

Missie closed her eyes, relaxing, her body aching as it continued to work and grow their baby. Her feet ached, her breasts hurt almost all the time, and she was always in a constant state of tiredness.

Missie felt Billy's kisses slowly trail up, his hands slowly moving up under her chemise, working the muscles as he went.

He softly brushed his lips against hers before he kissed her.

He slowly continued until she drifted to sleep, kissing her forehead before he undressed for bed and slid in next to her.