Cassandra Halstead

Cassandras age:15
THIS CHAPTER DISCUSSES MATURE TOPICS SUCH AS DISORDERED EATING AND BAD SELF IMAGE SO IF THAT IS SOMETHING THAT MIGHT TRIGGER YOU, I STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT YOU SKIP THOSE CHAPTER! Take care!! xx
(Inspired by Olivia's song "Pretty isn't pretty)

Bought a bunch of make up, tryna cover up my face
Cassandra groaned as she looked herself in the bathroom mirror. She hated how she looked.

She hated her thick eyebrows, her red hair, her dark circles, her freckles and her small lips.

She hated it all. It was six thirty in the morning and Cassandra was about to start her makeup, trying to cover up her insecurities.

Jay and Will thought it was unnecessary for her to cover up her "beautiful" face but they didn't know how it was. You were never pretty enough.

I started to skip lunch, stopped eatin' cake on birthdays
When Cassandra felt ready enough, she walked out of her bathroom to get dressed. She had so many clothes, but none of them looked good.

She had too wide hips and her stomach wasn't flat enough. She was too fat to look good in them and she despised herself for it.

She hated how she never used to say no to cake at birthday parties like all her friends did. But that had changed now.

She had said no to cake at the last two birthdays she'd been at, but somehow it still felt like it wasn't enough.

She still had fat on her stomach.

There's always somethin' in the mirror that I think looks wrong
As she walked out of her room, she heard voices coming from the kitchen and she stopped to listen.

"Cassie hasn't been eating her lunch. She's been leaving almost all of it" she heard Jay say and she frowned. Had he noticed?

"Yeah, I noticed. She's lost weight too" Hailey said, confirming Jays fears.

"I'm worried about her, what if she..." Jay said but stopped as he saw Cassandra walk in.

"Morning Cass" Jay said, giving her a smile.

"Morning. What are you talking about?" she asked as she walked over to Hailey, giving her a hug.

"Oh nothing special, just work stuff" Hailey said, ruffling Cassandra's hair. Cassandra playfully smacked Hailey's arm before walking over to Jay, giving him a hug.

He gave a kiss on her head before she sat down beside Hailey.

"What do you want on your sandwich today, Cass?" Jay asked as he started on her lunch.

"Whatever" she answered him and he frowned. He was starting to really worry about her.

You can win the battle, but you'll never win the war
You fix the things you hated and you still feel so insecure
Cassandra had been skipping lunch for several weeks now, only getting more sneaky at doing it.

After she overheard Jay and Hailey talking about her, she started throwing out some of the food that Jay packed so he wouldn't get suspicious.

She knew that it was wasteful and unhealthy but she just wanted to feel pretty. And it had worked a little.

Her stomach was flatter and her hips weren't as wide, but she still didn't feel good. She still felt insecure.

It was an endless circle.

Every time she reached her goals, she found that she wasn't satisfied with it and she still felt so insecure. It was never enough.

You could never be pretty enough.