If It's With You

021- Avoiding him

I levelled my eyes to hers and at the same she lowered to the seat, smiling again. “Who’s that?”I mouthed.

“No, Nicklaus.” She said, her voice strict but his name was all it took for my body to freeze, and all the excitement I had earlier, draining from me.

She was talking to Nicklaus and they were talking about me. If he was going to come here, then I would have to leave. I wasn’t ready to face Nicklaus, not now and I didn’t know when.

“Did he just end the call on me?” Julia took the phone away from her ear and placing it on the table, she levelled her gaze with mine, saying, “I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but whatever it is, needs to end.” She started opening the wine, “I am tired of being the one he has to call to know if you’re doing okay or if you’re still mad at him. I’m tired of dealing with his temper, and you know what is funny? I know no damn thing about whatever is going on between both of you.” The wine popped open and she poured some into my glass and then hers.

Meanwhile, I pressed my lips together, feeling guilty because even though I had pretended not to know this. I knew. Nicklaus was not letting her rest.

“Can you tell me what happened, Muna? I know you’ve been trying to avoid the question each time I asked, and no matter how much I’ve told myself to respect the fact that you don’t wanna tell me, I still want to know. So, can you please tell me what is going on between the both of you?”

I swallowed, but my throat had gone dry, so dry that I swallowed multiple times but yet, it felt the same. Like a desert land. I reached for the wine glass, gulped a big sip and placed it back on the table. Levelling up with Julia’s gaze, I sighed, meeting hers which had been on me, waiting for me to tell her. Realizing I wouldn’t be able to escape this time, I sighed again, succumbing to her patient gaze.

“I don’t know Jul,” I said, resting my back on the seat. “You might probably think I’m crazy but what happened was, Nicklaus and I had a moment on the same day I called you about Tim.”

“Wait,” she gestured with her hand and I paused. “The night you kind of confronted Tim and then, got scared and ran home?”

“Yes,” I nodded. I had called Julia that night and narrated everything that happened to her.

At first, I wanted to call Maya but I knew her too well not to do that. If I ever told Maya about Tim, she was going to take the next flight to New York and drag me home with her. All these she would do while also informing my mom, and the last thing I wanted was for my mom to be worried about my safety. And then, telling me a hundred and one reasons, why making videos of myself telling strangers about most of the things I do wasn’t safe.

She would preach until whenever and I wasn’t ready for that. My mom didn’t know how to let go, especially whenever she was worried about me.

Julia had suggested we go to the police which I agreed to that night, but changed my mind the next morning. It was hard for me to go to the police, what if they didn’t believe me, what if what happened to my mom happened to me?

It was also hard to accept that Tim was stalking me. I was in denial. And even though it felt that way sometimes, I still never got to see him around most times. Just like I had not seen him since the day I kind of confronted him, and I hoped he would never show up again.

“I still don’t agree with you changing your mind about going to the police.”

“I understand but remember we agreed on going to the police if he ever appears anywhere around me again, and he never did that ever since.”

She took a sip from her wine, “What if he knows about our plan? What if he put some chips in your phone and can—”

I chuckled lightly, “No Jul, I don’t think so.” I said confidently or pretended to be confident.