If It's With You

Nicklaus

One time when I was eight years old, I was taking a nap on a regular Saturday afternoon, when I overheard my parents fighting like they did most of the time.

I remember walking to their bedroom where I met them, throwing crazy words around.

I stood without their knowledge and felt each hurtful word they hurled at one another.

When they finally took notice of me, Dad stormed out of the house and Mom? She took me out to a park.

On our way, I remember her telling me it was normal for couples to fight sometimes, and make up later. She also assured me that they loved me so much, no matter what. But her words had done nothing to cheer me up and I was still as grumpy as hell when we got to the park.

I was sitting on a bench at the park, scowling while my mother made a phone call for what seemed like forever.

That was when this little girl my age noticed my presence, and came over to where I was seated.

She had introduced herself as Paris. A name I would never forget. Paris was cute and was grinning like she was really happy. Or maybe she was, but I wasn’t.

When I stared at Paris without saying a word or taking her hand which she extended to me, she pushed into me and took my hand forcefully. I almost smiled, actually, I think I did.

Paris grinned even more and then asked that I play with her which I politely declined, and offered to watch her. She accepted.

I was watching Paris ride on the slide like she was a ray of sunshine in my dark little world. We were having fun until a boy from nowhere decided to push her off the top of the slide, yelling out some bad words.

As I watched Paris forcefully roll down the slide, with fear and tears coating her big eyes, for the first time, I had the urge to kill and acted on it.

I remember racing towards him and hitting him straight to the ground. Then, I jumped on him and almost choked him to death.

I wanted him dead, and at that moment, it felt like if I did succeed, it would get rid of all the anger burning inside of me.

Thank God for the adults who intervened and stopped me.

Everything turned out a mess on that day, but I never regretted my actions. I would do it all over again for Paris, just like I would do it for Muna.

When I noticed that Muna wasn’t in her seat earlier, I texted her which she didn’t reply to. Then, I texted Andrew who told me she had gone to the restroom.

But another ten minutes had gone and she had not yet returned. That was when I knew something was wrong.

When I left my seat and sauntered to Andrew, my father watched me closely. Some minutes after Andrew and I stormed out of the event venue, he followed asking if everything was okay.

At first, I was surprised that he cared to know what was wrong, but I went on and told him that Muna was missing.

That was when our search began at the restroom first, and when we realized she wasn’t in there, we started checking every possible spot.

But then, my phone beeped and I hurriedly checked, thinking it was her but it was a text from an unfamiliar number.

And as I read the text, I swallowed so hard that my throat hurt. The root of my teeth dug into the skin beneath, only because of how hard I was clenching them. My chest heaved up and down like ocean waves during a storm.