A f t e r l i f e - A Tate Langdon Story

Another Authors note :p

Some plots from the show will not be included in this story- although it is following some narratives surrounding the Harmons, things such as the rubber man assaulting Vivian will not be happening in this story.
Also, some events that happen in the show that I include in here won't be in exact chronological order!

Enjoy the chapter x

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Erika's POV (Point of view)

The Harmons were pretty dysfunctional- and this was meant to be a fresh start?
Ben and Vivian argued constantly.
Violet just stayed in her room, thats if she wasn't at school getting beat up apparently by some girl she told me about.

The Harmons weren't home.
Violet was at school, Ben was in Boston because one of his patients tried to kill himself apparently, and Vivian was out grocery shopping.

I was bored.
Violet was the only fun I had round here, and she wasn't home.

I entered her room and sat in it.
Although it had her bed, her clothes, her music, her belongings- I could still see Tates room.
It was weird, i felt so much comfort in this room all those years ago but now i felt like i was intruding.

I laid back on her bed and breathed out deeply, resting my hands on my tummy.
I closed my eyes.
Suddenly, for a split second an image flashed into my mind and I quickly sat up and looked around.

I imagined I was laid on Tates bed again.

My eyes darted the room, reminding myself that the room I once knew was gone.
Why did that image flash into my head? And why did I for a second actually think It was true?

I shook my head, standing up and going to Violets record player.
She recently bought some new cd's- some I recognised and others I didn't.

I pulled out the Pearl Jam record and placed it in, pressing play.

"Black" by Pearl Jam began to play. Not loudly, but just as soft background noise.

I swayed with the gentle melody, it brought back memories.
It wasn't the first time this song had been played in this room.

I felt myself slowly begin to dance and sway around the room, spinning and bobbing my head.
For a moment I felt as light as a feather.
I needed to get those thoughts of him out of my head.

"All the love gone bad, turned my world to black" I sang along to myself, spinning and swaying to the music.

I wanted to turn the music up, to really feel it against my skin when I danced- but I didn't want him to hear it.

I was too late though.

Suddenly, the door opened slowly. I didn't notice at first, but then my eyes shot open and I fell back onto the metal bed frame.

It was Tate.
He entered the room but his eyes were set on the record player.

I breathed out in relief.
I remembered I was still hidden. He couldn't see me.

He furrowed his brows and made his way over to the music, now standing in front of it.

I rolled my eyes and sighed.
I guess that was it for my fun then.
I was enjoying myself, I was annoyed that he had come in.

Just as I knew he would, he turned the music off and took the cd out, holding it in his hand.

I shook my head, then went to leave the room.
I turned to look at him again, but he was still stood there holding the cd and looking down at it.
He was in a deep thought- I recognised the expression on his face.

I knew he was wondering how the music was playing- Violet wasn't here and the room was empty to him.
Although I hated to admit it, Tate wasn't stupid.
I knew that he knew it was me.

Suddenly, he sighed subtly and put the cd back in the record player and let the music play out again.

'Black' by Pearl Jam began to play again.

I continued to stand there, my eyes narrowing slightly as I watched him. Why did he put the cd back?

He turned around and looked at the empty room.
His eyes flitted from one side to the other, like he was hopelessly searching for me.

"This is one of your favourite Pearl Jam songs" he said aloud, his head moving around slowly as he scanned the walls.

My eyes widened and my stomach dropped.
He was talking to me, well, trying to.
He knew I was there. I didn't know what to do.

"I remember when you played it for me..." He spoke again softly into the empty room.
Suddenly a small smirk grew on his lips and he released a short breathy laugh.

I wondered why he did that, but then I realised what he must have just remembered...
The same memory instantly flooded my mind too.

When Tate and I were alive...when we were friends, before we started dating, we would trade music and show each other bands and musicians we liked.

One day I brought my Pearl Jam record to his house and played it for him.
I remembered that I sang along to the words, my voice becoming louder as I got into it.
I remembered him laughing at me, but not in a mean way. He admired how unfazed I was.
He admired how much I didn't care.

I remembered how I started to dance in front of him.
It was the first time I had danced in front of him- I wasn't even high either, that's what he found funny.

He eventually joined me after I was trying to convince him to and we both danced together, holding hands, swaying and laughing.
I still sung along to the words like a big goofy idiot.

That was the only time I ever saw him let loose like that.
That was when I realised he was comfortable around me...and that was also when both of us started realising we had feeling for one another.

I suddenly felt a warm feeling in my tummy then it snapped me out of my thoughts.
It was then I noticed I had a smile on my face- I hadn't even realised I was smiling.

He looked over his shoulder at the music player briefly, then back toward the empty room.
He paused a moment, his eyes becoming a little glassy.

The song filled the silence in the room.
He dipped his head down slightly, looking down at the floor- he was listening to the song, which I guessed he hadn't heard since he was alive.

He then looked back up and headed for the door, passing me narrowly as he did- unknowing I was even there.
He opened the door once more but turned back just before he stepped out.

He spoke softly, almost as if to himself.
"You can carry on dancing now..."

He shut the door.
I stared at the closed door for what felt like hours, but it was only seconds.
I brought my hands up to the sides of my arms and stepped back and sat on the end of the bed.

His words echoed in my head.
He knew I was here.
He didn't beg to see me or speak to me like he had done in the past, he just acknowledged me there...
For the first time...
Maybe those sessions with Ben were helping him?

I wasn't sure how to feel about what just happened.

He knew me too well, even after all this time.
The thought of that made my tummy twist.

I couldn't stand this hell I lived in.
I wished that this was all a horrible dream, and I'd wake up and it would be 1994 again and he never did what he did.

I truly wished for that.
That way, I wouldn't feel guilty for loving him still.