on the map//spencer 'spider' white

26

Spider tells his mum in French, "That's it, Mum, drink another glass. Good idea."

I look at him surprised. I had no idea Spider knew French. Then again he doesn't really know I know basic French either.

Cait smiles as she answers back in French, "Thank you, Spencer. I will do exactly that."

Spider sighs before standing up. He starts on the dishes in the kitchen. I offer to help but Cait isn't having it.

"Oh, well, I always wanted a big family, but sadly, that wasn't on the cards for me," Cait tells me. "Spenny is an IVF baby."

I look at Spider curiously. "Oh. Really? I didn't know that."

"Yeah, I always wanted a girl, of course," Cait tells me. "And then there was the double disappointment when it became apparent that Spencer doesn't have a queer bone in his body." She laughs rather loudly. "I'm so sorry. It's just toxic masculinity is just so... It's so pervasive. He was such a sweet little thing. And when he hit puberty, it was like, well, there's obviously just some element of biology to it all, isn't there? I mean, despite my best efforts, there is something in the DNA of a man... and it's just very dangerous."

I shake my head. "Spider's not dangerous."

"Mm, mm, mm, mm!" Cait shakes her head as she drinks her wine. "No. But you know what I mean. I had this nightmare. So I had... I had this dream... that the police... The police come to my door, and they tell me that Spencer's... God, I don't know if I can even say it. That Spencer has done something unforgivable to a girl. I mean, what do I do? Do you think that if a virus got rid of all the men on the planet, that all our problems would disappear like that?"

"No," I tell her. "I reckon we'd be left with a few."

"Do you?" Cait asks.

I nod my head. "Yeah I do."

"Thanks for lunch, Mum," Spider says. "We should probably go upstairs."

I force a smile as I stand up. "Yes. Thank you so much, Cait."

Cait laughs. "Oh, it was my pleasure. Lovely to see you."

I stop in front of the ugly painting. "Oh, and this is fake. My mum bought the same one at T.K. Maxx."

I stop on the way to Spider's room. Amerie is calling me.

"Where the hell have you been?" Amerie asks me.

"Spider's," I confess.

"You're at Spider's?" Amerie asks.

"Yeah," I tell her. "I had lunch with his crazy ass mum."

"Wow," Amerie remarks. "I didn't know you and Spider were..."

"I don't know what Spider and I am," I explain. "That's kind of why I showed up. I thought I would be able to have the relationship talk and make it to the zoo."

"You missed a lot," Amerie tells me.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Quinni just snapped," Amerie says. "We gave her the phone and had the cake and she freaked. She kept going on about Bird Psycho. That she wanted to figure it out. That everything is changing and moving too fast. Then she dropped the bomb that Darren and Harper plan on moving in together."

"Shit," I remark. "I don't know what to say."

"Yeah, it was a lot," Amerie says.

"Where are you know?" I ask.

"Going to Rowan's," Amerie tells me.

"Get it, Ams," I tell her with a laugh.

"Be careful with Spider," Amerie tells me.

I laugh. "He's Spider. What do I have to worry about?"

When I walk into his room Spider is sitting on the end of his bed.

"I am so sorry that you had to sit through that," Spider tells me.

I sit down next to him. "I'm sorry you have to live with that. But everything kind of makes sense now."

"It does?" Spider asks.

"The whole fuck you to your mum," I tell him. "If that's what they think I am, that's what I'll be." I shake my head. "I don't buy any of that shit she was saying. You always have a choice about the kind of man you wanna be. Even if you choose to be a proper dickhead most of the time." Spider laughs. "But there is still time for you to change." Spider nods his head. "So should we talk about what happened at camp?"

"I don't regret it," Spider tells me.

"I don't either," I state.

"I don't want to force you into anything," Spider says.

"You're not," I assure him. "And you're not the guy I broke up with before." Spider smiles slightly. "You're growing up, Spider."

He laughs. "So does that mean you'll give me another chance?"

I nod my head. "Yeah."

"Yeah?" Spider asks.

I laugh. "Yeah."

"Come here, babe," Spider says as he pulls me towards him into a kiss.