Loving My Knight

The first thing he says is asking if he can sit at the end of the bed and I nod for him to do so. "What's going on?" I can sense a hint of anticipation and uncertainty in his voice. I take a deep breath. I feel his gaze upon me. "I've been seeing lots of things being said on social media..." I close my eyes briefly. "What things?" He asks. "Things about me. About you. About us." I gaze my focus on my phone which has been placed on the bedside cabinet. "I take jt they're not nice things?" I nod. Still unable to look him in the eye, I focus my gaze on the rest of his features. "Can I look at your phone?" He points. I reach for it and search the social platforms then hand it to him. I wait as his eyes roam through what's on the screen. He curses.

"Nina, why didn't you tell me?" I don't sense any anger just a little hurt from him. "I didn't want to burden you." I tell him genuinely. "I'm your boyfriend, Nina. Not just some arm candy. Why did you think you were burdening me, huh?" I shrug my shoulders, trying to hold it together. "You are my boyfriend, Jordan. I didn't think you'd want to know what they were saying and if you did, then you would want to not bother with me anymore." He stands up and paces the room. I watch as he stops to stand still. "That's what boyfriends do, Nina. We support our girl when she needs us. Or I thought." - "I'm sorry Jordan." He sighs. "I thought I'd done something wrong but instead you cut me out and chose to talk to my brother than me. That hurts, baby." I wipe my eyes because his admission is rightfully heartbreaking. "I am sorry. I was scared you would think differently of me if you knew what they were all saying about me. I'm sorry that I've hurt you. I don't deserve you. You deserve someone who can give you everything that I can't and someone who is model like." The more I try to blink the tears away, the harder it is to not cry. "This is on me." I hear him mutter. I finally look up at him. "What is on you?" He comes to sit on the edge of the bed near me. "Did I not show you how much I love you and tell you how beautiful I think you are?" His gaze is firmly set on me with confusion written on his handsome face. "This is nothing you have or haven't done, J. You are the most wonderful man I know and love. You make me feel like I can do anything and everything I set my heart on to do. I know and feel the love that you have for me, I really do. This is all to do with my own insecurities." He takes my hand in his own hand. I close my eyes as I embrace the gentleness of his touch. "Nina, you are the one for me. I would do anything for you, absolutely anything and everything. You are my world. You're my best friend as well as my lover. An incredible, loving, sexy lover who I'm proud to call my girlfriend. Tell me, how can I help you see that I don't agree with those so called fans? You know that if they were true fans, they wouldn't be so cruel. They'd want me to be happy which I am very happy. I haven't been as happy as I have been since meeting you." I reach for him and in one swoop, he lifts me up and sits me on his lap. "I don't know what you can do. I don't want you to upset your fans. I guess I should have realised that they might not like me or think I'm good enough for you but it was a shock to me. I've been taunted before but that was in person by people I knew of and that was when I was younger." My eyes close as I feel his fingers through my hair. I rest my head against his firm chest. "You are perfect just as you are Nina. Please don't take any notice of what some of the fans say. Just focus on those that matter. Promise me something?" I mumble "yes." Into his chest. "Promise me that you'll talk to me in the future about anything. Don't shut me out, okay?" I wrap myself around him. "Yes, I promise. Again, I'm very sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you." I sob into his chest. "I don't think I could take it if this happened again, sweetheart. Communication is important to me." Both of his hands carefully hold both sides of my face as he leans down enough to gaze into my eyes. His lips softly press against my own. "I've been so worried about you, about us. I thought you were going to break up with me." As I open my eyes, I watch as a tear falls down his cheek. I use the pad of my thumb to wipe it away. "I would never do that but if you wanted to, especially after this then I would understand although I don't think I could bear thinking about life without you in it." We make eye contact. Our gazes locked in. "Well I ain't giving up on us any time soon. Like I said earlier, you're it for me and I see a future with us together. One day you'll become Mrs Knight or Mrs whatever you choose to have as your married name."

He chuckles when he sees my shocked expression. "Don't joke like that, Jordan." He rolls his eyes. "I'm being extremely serious. I'm only laughing cos you weren't expecting me to be so honest with you about wanting you to be my wife one day." I begin to giggle because I've never thought anyone as amazing as Jordan would want to marry me.