Opening Up

The scars remind me of the pain I went through the last year. The pain that I will overcome every day. As we stand at our lockers, the first-day rush passes through everyone. The loud noises of school being back in session surrounded us. My best friend stands next to me, talking about the summer trip that her family took. She's a small girl who is always happy to meet anyone new. She's bubbly and never seen without a smile. Her face is round even though she is smaller than I am. Her long red hair sits on top of her head up out of her eyes, and I smile, knowing she only wears it like that when she wakes up late.

The hallway was loud with the everyday noise of everyone getting ready to head to their next class, and the way the small hallway smelled made my stomach roll. It was a mixture of lunch and sweat from the locker rooms.

As Dean walks by us, I look down at my hands. My heart was racing. Dean is tall with a strong jawline and a nose with a slight point. His limp was hardly noticeable since years of physical therapy strengthened the muscles. He's always kept his hair shaggy to cover up his eyes, and those eyes so that you didn't realize how captivating they were unless you knew him. The piercing blue of his eyes looks unreal. He's wearing a light blue polo that fits him well and his dark, faded jeans, which are his favorite. This is his style now; sometimes, it seems impossible that we grew up together, playing in the forest behind our homes.

"Eva, what's going on," Vicky speaks softly. My heart broke a little every time he walked by. Her voice was light, lighter than I had heard in a long time; her green eyes seemed odd this morning. She was wearing a dark green sundress. I just smile back at her; I say little. Things hadn't been easy, but slowly, Vicky was pulling me out of the dark place I seemed to have been in. "Eva, come on, talk to me. What's going on?" She cares. I know she cares by the tone of her voice; the bell rang and saved me from having to talk.

"I gotta get to class. I will see you later." I walk away from her quickly.

The bell is loud in the hallway as it echoes as a chilly wave of air does on a hot summer night. She wouldn't let this go but understands things aren't black and white. It is the first day of the fall term, the first day of Vicky's and my Junior year, and Dean's Senior year.

Walking into my third class, I prayed this would be my class away from everyone I knew. Most of my classes are advanced for my age group.

However, walking in, my eyes land on Dean. Of course, he is here; he is always there. Even when I wanted to escape everything... he was there. My breath caught seeing his eyes meet mine. I didn't think I'd have a class with him this year. My heart stops as I see him sitting there looking at the door and smiling when he sees me. His smile sends a chill right down my spine. Is he always there because God wants him there for me, or is it because this is a small school, and that is just what happened?

This seems odd, this feeling building up inside of me. I'm fighting myself to hold in my feelings, to say that my feelings aren't real, that they are only in my head. Well, I pray they are. I feel myself roll my eyes at my thoughts. He is my best friend's brother; these feelings cannot happen.

As I walked further into the room, I was looking for a table to sit at. Anywhere but with Dean. I feared that if I sat with him, that'd be it. I'd tell him my honest feelings for him. The sweet boy next door, that's how I want to see him again, the one that would give me rides when Vicky and I wanted to go somewhere because he had a car and we couldn't drive yet.

His blue eyes meet mine, and my heart races. "Eva, why don't you sit with me?" Dean asks softly. I can't believe he is talking to me. I am afraid to sit down next to him. Usually, I'd sit where no one could see me. "I mean, that's only if you want to." His blue eyes are bluer than I have seen them in a long time.