???? ??? ??? ???? | ?If I told you about the darkness inside of me would you still look at me as if I was the sun??
Hazel Gilbert thought she had met the perfect guy.
He was kind, loving and hardworking―all things she had be...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙋𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙀𝙏𝙀𝙀𝙉 ミ★ ( lion and the lamb, act one) ★彡
Being at Bonnie's Grams' funeral reminded Hazel a lot about being at her own parents' funeral last year. It brought up a lot of feelings that Hazel wasn't ready to confront; feelings that she had been pushing away since her parents died—emotions like guilt, anger and pure anguish. She felt guilty about being a survivor from the crash, and she feels guilty that it's partially her fault that Grams was now gone. If she just hadn't let Damon drag her into that cave; if she hadn't of screamed when Pearl bit her to cause Stefan to run in, knowing that he wouldn't come out; if she had just been brave enough to tell them to not go along with their stupid plan in the first place; maybe Grams would still be there for Bonnie, and Bonnie wouldn't be experiencing some of the worst pain in her life.
Having lost her own parents, Hazel knows how it all feels to grieve someone you love so much. All you do is think about them. You think about good memories and how much you cherish those, and you think about the bad memories and how you wish you could change it; how you wish you didn't say that stupid thing or pick that stupid fight, or how you wish you didn't walk away in that moment and just hugged them. Everything reminds you of them. Every place, every song; they just stay on your mind permanently and you can't help but just cry. You know they don't want you to be sad, but you miss them so damn much that all you can do is cry your eyes out at every reminder of them. Your heart pangs every time their face flashes in your mind and sadness overcomes you instantly.
Bonnie had experienced loss before with her mom walking out on her and having to be raised by her dad and Grams—although she thought she was crazy up until a few months ago because of the whole witch ancestry thing, to which she now massively regrets because it came to be true—but, she had never experienced grief of a life, and it happened to be the person in her family she had become closest to. Hazel tries to be there for her and offer her support and guidance; but, she can't guide someone on how to handle grief as everyone copes differently.
Bonnie had left town after the funeral and was staying with extended family to handle her grief. Hazel doesn't blame her since everything around town reminded her of Grams and she can only imagine that being there was feeling claustrophobic almost. They spoke every now and again, and Bonnie asked her questions on how she coped with the loss of her parents, but, Hazel doesn't believe the way she coped was deemed necessarily healthy. Hazel shut everyone out and barely spoke or ate and is still extremely traumatised by the accident, and the guilt consumes her on a daily. Hazel doesn't want Bonnie to follow in her footsteps, and she thinks it's hypocritical of her to suggest otherwise when she couldn't even do that for herself.
The whole thing eats her up and she feels like she's back in the same place she was after the accident. She struggles to sleep or eat, and she shut out Elena and Stefan because she selfishly blames them for what happened even though she blames herself more. Her head is a mess and her heart hurts for Bonnie.
