The Atrocious Bard and The Little Princeling | Golden Guard X Reader

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A rebel's spark and a prince's crown, together they'll tear the kingdom down.

- Passerine2007

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For a place called the Abomination Coven fortress, you always thought it would look more... horrifying. Menacing. Oozing sludge from the walls, maybe. A moat made of screaming statues. Something gross.

Instead, it was clean.

The fortress stood tall and surprisingly elegant. Not a crack dared mar its surface, not a fleck of dust sullied its polished edges. The architecture was so carefully curated it felt like you were walking into a noble's estate rather than a coven base. Rows of arched windows lined the façade, letting in generous light that danced on the polished marble floors inside. 

There were flower beds. Flower beds. Darius would probably throw a fit if a leaf blew in the wrong direction.

You'd once joked it looked like a very strict art museum. Darius hadn't denied it.

Honestly, the most ironic thing about the Abomination Coven wasn't the flesh-magic or the creepy goo monsters - it was that its head, Darius, had an unhealthy obsession with cleanliness and order. Abominations might be sticky, but the man behind them? Impeccably neat.

And yet, even this perfectly polished sanctuary wasn't immune to pests. 

Your gaze drifted toward the bridge at the entrance. A long sweep of smooth white stone stretched across a river of boiling water. And there, standing right in the center of it, was the eyesore of the day.

A silhouette, shrouded in an unnecessarily regal white cape, stood with ramrod posture just beyond the gates. The Golden Guard. Of course. The golden mask gleamed obnoxiously under the sun, not even a strand of hair peeking from his hood. You didn't even need to see his face to know what kind of expression he was wearing: something self-important. Something punchable.

Everything about him screamed, "I am power. I am authority. I am completely devoid of a sense of humor."

It was adorable.

A laugh bubbled out of you before you could help it, and then you were off - leaping into a sequence of exaggerated bunny hops across the bridge. Your arms flailed, and your boots clapped against the marble. You radiated chaos. The dramatic billow of his cape caught the air as you neared, flapping like it had feelings about your existence. And though his face remained hidden behind that flawless golden mask, you could practically feel the scornful glare radiating from behind it.

"Where is Darius?" he demanded, arms crossed.

You skidded to a stop, hands on your hips, your smile fading just enough to show how offended you were. Rude. No hello? No "my, what charming hops you have?" Just straight to business like a brat who'd never been told "no" in his entire life. It only confirmed what you already suspected. 

This was a walking ego with a shiny mask and a badge. And lucky for you, egos were your favorite thing to poke.

"Greetings, Golden Guard!" you declared, throwing your arms wide like the star of a stage play. "I am proud to introduce myself as the one and only, great bard, [Name] Whispers! The dearest and most beloved student of Darius himself!" You finished with a dramatic twirl and an exaggerated bow, the kind a magician might use after a stage play.