Consider Me Gone

Toni

Happy arrived at my apartment complex and switched off his engine. I was only here to turn in my key and wait for Mark. We were leaving later tonight for Seattle, and I couldn't have been more excited.

Mark had taken care of my apartment while I went to spend time with Happy and his family. Mark and Happy had suggested going to Bakersfield because they thought that Charming was too dangerous for me. It turned out to be a great idea because I was able to visit my own family along the way.

My mother and grandparents were completely clueless about my decision to leave Charming. In their minds, I was simply moving to Seattle for a new job opportunity, and that was the extent of it. They had been urging me to leave Charming ever since my divorce from Jax, so they naturally thought I was finally taking their advice.

They knew about Mark and were itching to meet him, but they settled on visiting us in Washington instead. They assumed his absence was because I wasn't ready to bring another guy home, but little did they know how wrong they were.

Mark was still finishing up his contract with the hospital, so he technically had to stay put. However, his real reason for staying was that he didn't want Jax to know where I was. He had concocted this seemingly "bulletproof" plan to keep me at arm's length with Happy, but considering that Jax found out where I was anyway, I could safely say that his plan failed.

Ironically, I wasn't as upset as I thought I would be seeing Jax again. It was almost cathartic to unleash all of my trauma from our marriage on him. For years, I kept all that junk in, thinking I could move on without saying my peace. However, now I feel justified in revealing his true nature to him, no longer protecting him from the harsh reality of his actions, and ultimately rejecting him after he nearly ruined me.

My only regret is that I can't go back in time and say it again.

I smiled to myself as I replayed yesterday's events in my head. And then I smiled even wider when I noticed that Mark was calling me. I answered the phone and prepared to hear his voice on the other end.

"Hey you, what's up?"

"Hey honey, just checking in. Did Happy already leave?"

"Yup, just waiting on you now."

Mark sighed, "I'm so ready to leave this town. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Seattle."

I chuckled as Mark confessed a personal sin. Mark was honest about how much it poured in Seattle, and he admitted that he much preferred the sunny skies of New York. However, as he spent more time in Washington, surrounded by his best friend and people who'd become like family, he warmed up to staying in Seattle long term.

"Don't worry I'll keep your dirty little secret," I teased.

"Dirty huh?" Mark's voice dipped low and I rolled my eyes. I could practically envision him biting his lip in his office chair. The man was a fiend and he was somehow always able to find a dirty joke in anything.

"Do you ever take a day off Mark Sloan?" I asked him, but then I was interrupted by a loud pounding on my door. So loud in fact that even Mark heard it through the phone.

"Baby, are you okay? Who is that?" I could hear the slight panic in his voice because he most likely assumed it was Jax.

"Yeah, I'm good," I walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. "It's just Tara," I couldn't hide the disdain in my voice, because out of everyone I didn't want to see, she was at the top of my list.

"What does she want?" Mark asked.

"I don't know, but something tells me that if I don't open my door, I'm going to lose my security deposit."

"Toni, be careful!" Mark warned, and although I admired his caution, I wasn't scared of Tara. If she was here to start something with me, I had no problem showing her the door.

"I'll be okay, I'll call you when she leaves."

"Okay, love you," Mark said, sounding defeated.

"Love you too, bye." I hung up the phone and then proceeded to open the door for Tara. She was mid-knock when I opened it and her fist was balled up when I opened it.

"What do you want?" I asked, skipping the formalities.

"Where is Jax?!" She walked into the apartment, uninvited, and began looking around. I kept the door open and looked at her with pity as she began opening doors left and right while calling Jax's name.

"Where is he?! I know he was here," she shouted. All the while I looked at her with amusement, while leaning up against the doorway while she made a fool of herself.

"And why would he be here?" I asked calmly.

"Don't play games with me Toni!" she looked like she had been crying, but there was not a bone in my body that wanted to extend compassion towards her.

"What kind of game would involve me hiding your husband?"

Tara growled and pulled at her hair, "Is this some kind of joke to you? Are you trying to get back at me? Jax is a married man with kids, Toni, sleeping with my husband is not going to give you the results you think!"

"What?!" My eyes widened as I busted out a laugh. If she were a sane person, I would think she was joking. "You can't be serious."

Tara's face became bright red with embarrassment, "Well if he wasn't here then where is he? He didn't come home last night."

I shrugged my shoulders, showing very little care for her situation. "I don't know, maybe you should call him."

Tara stared at me for a moment and then her eyes became glossy with tears. My door was still open, so I was hoping that she'd just walk out, but instead, she decided to sit on a barstool. She placed her head in her hands and began to cry out in the open, and suddenly the room felt incredibly awkward.

"He said he wouldn't do this, he said he wouldn't hurt me again," she said softly. Again? Hmm, I guess even when you have a mistress it's still not enough.

"Right...so when I said go find him...I didn't mean I would help you look." Tara scolded me as she began to wipe her tears.

"How can you be so cruel?"

"I'm cruel?" I looked around the room as if I was looking for an audience. "I'm cruel? You came over here in hopes that you would find me with your husband. And now that you realize that he's loyal to no one, you say I'm cruel for not handing you a tissue? If I'm cruel, you're delusional. Now get out."

Tara looked taken aback, but seeing the look on her face reminded me that I had one more Teller to tell off. "And by the way, twisting history to fit your agenda is pathetic. You were not only a terrible friend, but you are a disgusting person. I went through two miscarriages and you knew that, but I guess seeing me as the victim in your mind doesn't play into the savior complex you have in your head. I don't feel bad for what's happened to you, or what is going to happen to you as long as you stay in Charming. If anything, I feel bad for your kids, because it's a shame that they ended up with a mother who is so weak for a man that she has decided to doom her children into the same cycle."

Tara's mouth dropped open as I stepped out of the way for her to leave. "Don't worry, I'm sure someone else's mouth is opening even wider for your husband." Although I admit, my last comment perhaps was cruel, but it felt amazing to say.