Lay Me Down (MxM)

Hi humans!

I've got a busy morning ahead of me, but I really had fun writing this chapter, once I got on a roll I couldn't stop. I don't usually include a "playlist" of chapter-vibe music, but if you'd like to listen, I included the songs here. I look forward to hearing all your thoughts about the boys below! I'll see you soon in the next chapter and thank you again for all the love and support. Please excuse any errors as I am posting this at 0330 and I am so tired. I've done a quick scan through for now and will come back to correct anything tomorrow! -Quill

Too Good to Be True- Moanday
Lucky: Tyzo Bloom, Freak Slug
you drive me crazy, don't leave-tyzo bloom
keep you longer- Tyzo Bloom
TV (Feat. Pom Pom Squad)

Lucas

We stood in silence, Ian's mom waving us off warmly as she pulled away. The look on her face made my heart ache a little, and I couldn't help but be jealous of Ian. What was it like to have a mom like that? A normal one.

I hated to use the word "normal", because it's such a subjective word... but really, what was it like to have a mother that would put you first?

"Hey..." Ian nudged me. "You good?"

I blinked a few times and turned to look at him. "Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm good."

He poked me obnoxiously. "Sure, you are. Why you staring at mom like that? You after her ass or something? Better not be, or I'll fight you."

I balked. "No, what the fuck Ian? Just staring off! You always find a way to make it weird, man..."

He cackled and threw his arm around my shoulder. "I am weird! Now come along, my lil' bitchboy, lets fuck this pig."

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't stifle the chuckle at the back of my throat. Ian seemed to always be full of wild, unhinged, chaotic energy, and he had such an extensive mental archive of "unique" phrasing, that his mother would probably pummel him for. I loved that about him.

Ian just watched me, he always got this look on his face after saying something for shock-value, like, he craved getting reactions outta people, me especially. The best way to handle him in his current state was to just shake my head and smirk, then walk away, so that's just what I did. 

"There it is. There's a smile." He called out, zipping up to my side.

"... I'm laughing at you, just so the record's clear." I griped, feeling my playful side return a bit.

He threw a heavy arm round me, adding gently. "Whatever... still just nice to see ya smile again, you know."

I shrugged shyly. "... yeah."

We continued to walk together, but Ian didn't let go of me, instead his arm remained around my shoulder, almost protectively so, it seemed. That confused me, and I wondered if I really was that easy to read. Could he see the fear and anxiety washing over me? I'd felt the rush of it the moment we'd entered Sherman; all those negative emotions sucking me in like a nasty riptide.

There were students buzzing around the halls as usual, but instead of feeling like I could move amongst them unbothered; I had a consuming fear they were all looking at me.

"Don't think about Jordan..." Ian said, giving my shoulder a squeeze. "Sky and me got plans for that bitch, so you just do you, 'kay?"

I let out a heavy sigh and nodded. "... okay..."

Of course I wondered what he meant by "plans" for Jordan, but at the same time, part of me didn't care. Jordan deserved whatever was coming for her and I still hadn't even opened the texts she'd sent.

We eventually arrived at our lockers; that very place responsible for us meeting and becoming friends in the first place. Both of us did our thing, depositing books and shit we didn't need, and Ian, as always, grabbed a few Tootsie Pops from his locker stash. I watched him go through his routine, smirking as he checked his appearance in the little mirror he had stuck to the inside of his locker door.

"Stop primping, idiot. You look fine... always do." I chuckled.

He shot me a playful wink. "Tell me something I don't know."

My face got a bit warm, so instead of watching him any longer, I pulled my phone out and started checking my messages, hoping for one from Jae. There weren't any new texts since he'd checked on me and my ride situation, and I guess I shouldn't have expected much as he was working. So, just I re-read his texts from buttfuck early that the morning; the ones in response to the pics I'd sent him. 

Jae: I'll gladly replace those bruises, pet. You took your punishments so well last night and master is very proud of you. I only wish I could've spent more time breaking you in, but there will be plenty of time for that.

I felt heat settle in my chest, blood rushing to my face, and well, other places as I savored his words. God, how I craved him, craved his arms around me, his mouth against mine, his taste, his cock, his pain, his pleasure. I wanted him to devour me.

"So..." Ian piped up, his cheek bulging from the sucker in his mouth, and he looked stupidly cute. "I hate to pry, but uh, just trying to make sure I have all the right information before I burn that bitch..."

I locked my screen and pocketed my phone, swallowing back my dirty thoughts. "What do you mean?"

He shut and secured his locker, then leaned in close, lowering his voice as he spoke. "Like... you never really told me exactly what happened in class with Jo, Luca. I've only been going off what Sky is hearing, you know."

I let out a heavy sigh, feeling my confidence deflate immediately. "... does it matter?"

"She messed with my best friend, so yeah, it fucking matters." He huffed, waving his sucker in my face.

A lump formed in my throat, and I shifted on my feet anxiously. "... she basically tried to 'out' me as 'gay' in class, cause I wouldn't go to Dominique's party with her. Like, she wanted me to basically be her date, but I'm not interested in her like that anymore. Basically, she just said a bunch of shit loudly about how me liking dudes being the reason we broke up, made a point of embarrassing me, telling me I needed to 'accept' myself, it was... yeah. Song was pissed at her, even."

I could feel him studying me, searching my face maybe for more, but I just didn't know what else to say. Should I have just told him the truth then? That I was into guys? That I was obsessively checking my phone to see if my "daddy" had messaged me? The thought of being honest made me want to burst into tears for some reason. Ian never really seemed to give a rat's ass one way or another about who people chose to love or fuck, but all the same, I wondered if his tone would change if he found out about my preferences. I couldn't lose Ian; he was my best friend. What if it changed everything, what if it made him uncomfortable around me?

"Hey, hey..." Ian cut in, ruffling the top of my head. "Don't let her get to you... she's just a bitter cunt, and she's gonna get hers Luca, I guarantee it. What she did was fucked up and honestly who weaponizes being gay these days, anyway? Only homophobes. Anyways, she's just insecure and stupid."

My heart fluttered hearing his words, because I wanted to be honest with him, I really did... but in the hallway at school wasn't the right place, and I was still too nervous, so I lied further.

"I mean, yeah, that's true... but still, can you blame me?" I sulked openly. "I don't wanna be at this stupid school right now... don't wanna be anywhere near Jo."

He popped the sucker out of his mouth and held it out. "Want some? Suckers always make me feel better."

I stared at it, then at his lips. "... I'll have a little bit."

Ian grinned and shoved it in my mouth without another word, but that... that action made me feel all syrupy inside. Luckily, I thought he had to be quite clueless about this, and I was working overtime not to blush in response.

Cherry. Cherry was his favorite flavor, and it was mine too.

Ian searched my face and then let out a heavy sigh, taking hold of both my shoulders. His eyes were like dark chocolate, hinging on black around the iris, and the perfect almond shape. I loved them; loved his long, inky lashes. They curled perfectly, and no, Ian didn't curl his lashes every morning. He just came that way... beautiful. The lucky bastard.

"Look, I know you're not fine right now, and I'm not sayin' you have to be." he said gently, pausing to choose his words carefully, which was unusual for Ian. Typically, he'd just blurt something out.

"It's just that I hate seeing you this way. I can be a dumbass sometimes, but I'm not stupid... I know it hurts. Just wanna try to make you feel better, I guess. Just know I got your back. Like, no matter what, I got you. Okay, asshole?" He knocked his forehead against mine roughly. "... I really got you. That's what friends are for."

I sniffled, swallowing back tears more than intent on escaping. "... you mean that?"

He hugged me, hard. "I mean it, motherfucker. I'm not goin' anywhere. Let me handle this shit with Jo, and don't waste a second more thinking about that jealous, homophobic bitch."

I just nodded into his shoulder. "... okay."

I soaked it up, the hug, and I felt a little guilty for it I felt guilty for hugging him back, even. I had always loved it when Ian was affectionate to me, even if only friendly in nature, because it was the only taste I felt like I'd ever get of him. In many ways I was kind of jealous of Sky, not in a spiteful way, but just of all the girls that'd felt his love. They knew what his mouth tasted like, his cock, and most importantly, the way he fucked... ugh.

I cursed inwardly, wishing I could just get over my attraction to Ian. It wasn't as intense as my attraction for Jae, now that I had time to think about it, but it was definitely still there, and that ate at me. I just wanted to move past it, because I'd spent far too long pining over him. Ian would never love me the way I had loved him.

"... Luca?" He pulled away some, but his face was just too... close. "You in there?"

I caught my breath at this, face burning with embarrassment. Ian seemed different, weirder than usual even, but I couldn't really put my finger on it. Fuck, I just needed to shake it off.

I'd been so caught up in my head it wasn't even funny. I'd taken my pain meds when I woke up, so I was admittedly a bit loopy. Part of me had this fear that I might end up like mom, hooked on pills if I took more, but my hand just hurt too much not to. I only took one, though, hoping to ride out the day on the lowest dose possible.

"I'm here..." I yawned, trying to get rid of the lingering needy, confused thoughts I had about my best friend. "Just, took some of my pain meds this morning and it's got me all sleepy, you know."

Get it together, I told myself. I really was so into Jae it wasn't funny. Yet, the small flame I lowkey carried for Ian was still hard to extinguish overnight, especially when he was so... close and perfect. I thought I almost wanted to talk to Jae about those feelings, because I wondered if he'd not been through something similar in the past with a friend of his own. My gut told me he most definitely had, and that maybe he'd have advice on how to move past it.

Ian exhaled an "ah... gotcha." He didn't look away, though, and I suspected he didn't believe me either, but if he didn't, he chose not to press the issue.

Instead, he clapped me on the back. "Well, good news is, you're early today, so you can surprise Massey and steal her thunder. Bitch won't be able to say shit to you this morning."

A smile tugged at my mouth. "... I fucking hate Massey."

He grinned. "Motherfucker, so. Do. I."

With that, Ian let out an evil chuckle. "Come on bitch-nugget, let's go piss in her cheerios."

I laughed, trying to take steady breaths as we made our way down the hall. I really tried to take Ian's advice and get Jo out of my head, but that was easier said than done. I wasn't sure what Ian had planned, or what he'd meant by "handling" her, but I was thankful for him all the same. Truthfully, I didn't have the energy to deal with Jo anymore than I had the energy to spit in the coffee pot this morning. That was something I did every day after pouring myself a cup, so Penny has to drink loogie-fortified coffee. She's always the last to wake.

Fucking bitch.