A World Beyond Saving

Jackson and Molly are playing outside. I think it's the first time I've seen Jackson smile in weeks. Ever since we split off from Mom and Dad he hasn't been the same. I almost tell them to come inside, but I stop myself. Isabelle has been telling me to relax. She says that I'm too jumpy, even after everything that has happened. If you ask me, I'd say that she is too relaxed and that is what will kill her in the end.

I guess I've always been this way. Even as a child, Mom always said I was cautious. The only injury I've ever gotten was when I was 3. I hit my head on a coffee table and it left a big, straight gash on the right side of my forehead. Besides that, I'm proud (yet not) to say that I have never broken or sprained a bone, never needed stitches, never even had a concussion. I am the poster child for safety.

Jackson is the opposite. Where I was always smart and safe, he was brave and daring. In the 8 years of his life before the attack, he has had more injuries than I could count. Sometimes I think that's why I envy him so much. It would be great to let go; to feel the weightless pleasure of childhood. To never worry about anything but scraped knees or falling off of your bike. But I haven't felt that way in a long time. And well... Neither has Jackson.

We have been at this house for a few days now. I know we need to go, but its nice to stop traveling. We found the house in the middle of nowhere. We lost our map a couple weeks back, so we've just been winging it. It doesn't matter because we don't really have anywhere to go. The last time we checked, we were in the backwoods of Olympia, Washington. This house is an upgrade from the woods.

Isabelle and her daughter, Molly, have been sharing the upstairs bedroom with Jackson and I. Its a tight fit, only a 3 bedroom house. Jose and his wife and son have been staying in the bedroom next to ours, while Rori and Steve have been staying in the downstairs bedroom. Michael took the couch. We had a larger group before, my mom and dad included, but everybody split off when the attack happened.

Its hard to explain what happened. Not when the group split off, but the original attack. The one that killed over 90% of the world's population and started this whole mess. One day, everybody was fine, the next day, everybody around us was sick. When Rachel, my sister, got sick,
Dad sent us away to the cabin. He said it was really serious and he didn't want us to catch what she had. Our family cabin was little and dusty, located about 2 hours from where we lived in a nice, secluded area.

We used to visit the cabin every summer. I would go kayak with Jackson and Rachel in the lake, while Mom and Dad sat on the dock. Dad would fish and Mom would read. This time Dad and Rachel didn't come. Mom, Jackson, and I patiently waited for them to follow, but when they were supposed to come, Dad was alone.

It was a shock, losing my sister. I didn't understand what was happening until we went back home. Every news channel told us the same thing: Stay inside, lock your doors, don't go near the infected. And we obliged. For the next 2 weeks we locked our doors, turned out the lights, and cut ourselves off from the world. We could tell by the news that it was getting worse.

Millions dead all over the world. As time went by I stopped receiving texts from my friends. I didn't admit it to myself then, but they were dying. The usual buzz of my phone from social media stopped. I would've given anything to leave, but Dad refused. He was worried we would get sick and die like Rachel. Mom got depressed, shutting herself off from all of us. Jackson cried himself to sleep every night. Nobody had any clue what was going on. Some believed the sickness to be the result of a terrorist. Some said it was God punishing us.

We thought it couldn't get worse. We were wrong.

That's when the power went down. Bye cell phone. Bye TV. Bye computer.

And then it got even worse.

 After the gunshots started going off, we left for the cabin again. We stayed there for a month. Dad and I went to the gas station around the corner twice and filled our bags with as much junk food and water that we could carry. We couldn't drive anymore because the gas stations in the area stopped functioning as the workers got sick. It was on one of our runs that we found Rori and Steve.  It was so early on that we weren't paranoid like we would have been now. We were relieved. They had a camp with lots of people, none sick. We joined them without any hesitation. I knew Dad was tired and I was going crazy, never being around anyone but Jackson and my parents. I would do anything to be back there now. 

The camp was good, while it lasted. We became a community. We learned each other's stories. We had a dream of rebuilding civilization before we knew the extent of it's damage. We just didn't know.

But we would learn. Learn how careless we had been. Learn how stupid we had been to have hope. Or to think that the war was almost over.

It was only the beginning.