It Started with a Small Favor

I was nervously squeezing the handles to my shopping bags as I followed TaeJun outside. He had called a company car to take us back to the dorms. I tried to tell him we could just take a taxi, but he wouldn't hear it. I was nervous as he stood there, talking on the phone with whoever was coming to pick us up.

“Y/N-ah,” I lifted my head to look at TaeJun. He put a hand on my shoulder, giving a slight reassuring squeeze. I gave him what was supposed to be a smile, but I have a feeling it is more like a grimace.

“Yes, TeaJun-oppa?” I bit my lip again, meeting his eyes. I could see him soften slightly at my nervousness.

“Why haven't you told anyone about your social anxiety?” TeaJun asked me gently. I knew he was trying to be careful with me. I hated that he had to, but there was nothing I could do to change things. The doctor said it would take time.

“Because they already treat me like I'm going to break. If they have something more to worry about, I feel like their pity will override anything else,” I said quietly, looking at my feet. I didn't want to admit the shame I felt because of my problems nor face the fact they may start to pity me and that will take over the liking of me. “I don't want to become more of a burden to them than I already am.”

I sniffed as I tried to keep myself from crying. I didn't like to let people see me cry.

“I am sure that wont happen, but if it does, I'll be there for you. Same with Sejin-hyung,” TaeJun said before turning around. A black van could be seen sitting at the traffic light nearby.

We had left StrayKids' dorm complex and walked a couple blocks so that it wouldn't cause any scandals. Chris and the rest had insisted on exchanging numbers. It wasn't until I was putting my shoes on when Han came up to me to talk privately.

“Hey, just know if you ever need to talk to someone to just be quiet with someone, call me. I will meet you or tell you where to find me,” he said quietly taking my hand. “I know what it's like. You said this is something new for you, so let me be there for you. I know you are friends with Bangtan but sometimes it's nice to have someone separate from our every day lives to help us.”

I gave a small smile as thanks and he smiled back, nodding. He left me with a hand on the shoulder before the rest came over to say goodbye. They made me promise to text them and they said they wanted to make a group chat for us. It was strange, that another big idol group was wanting to become friends with me. Like, did I save the world in my past life or something?

The van pulled up in front of us and I waited as TaeJun opened the back door and indicating for me to get in. I let him take my bags from me, too exhausted to fight him anymore. The van was empty except for the driver and another bodyguard.

TaeJun closed the door and sat in the seat next to me. I had chosen to sit in the captain seat near the window. My leg bounced in anticipation as we drove towards Hanam, where BTS lived. I nervously bit my nails and felt my mind and thoughts wander down a dark path.

You're just a burden.

They don't really like you.

BTS only pities you.

No one wants you.

No one cares.

I felt tears gather in my eyes as my thoughts kept going. It wasn't until a felt  hands go around my face that I was able to focus on anything. I was staring into a pair of piercing brown eyes. Blinking a couple of times, I realized someone was talking. He was talking.