?SIG ONESHOTS ?

(A/N: All I have to say is eating cake at 3 am really ran the cogwheels in my brain.

-Just like the Bosko fam we have the Orlov fam consisting of a malewife, a silly auburn and a little kid who can kick ass at a young age. 

-For Augustine, Vincent goes by 'Papa' and Rody by 'Dad')

It was 3 in the morning on a school night. Little Augustine had caused a ruckus at the dinner table and hadn't eaten a proper dinner earlier. He was now suffering the consequences of his actions. He sleepily stumbled out of bed and walked down the hallway to sneak into his kitchen.

Upon opening the fridge, his eyes landed on the large chocolate cake his papa, Vincent, had made earlier after work. He would've never let Augustine take a bite of cake without having proper dinner as punishment, but he didn't need to know it was Augustine who ate the cake. After all, he could blame it on Rody's pet mouse. Speaking of pet mouse, the little being poked its head from around the corner and looked up at Augustine as he tried to carefully take out the cake kept in the fridge. 

Suddenly, the door to his parents' bedroom opened, causing Augustine to panic and close the refrigerator's door a bit too loudly. Augustine hid behind one of the counters in the kitchen, hoping nobody heard. Alas, somebody had walked into the kitchen and it was a familiar auburn, his dad. While Augustine knew his dad was more forgiving than his papa, he felt shameful for having to sneak out for food at night.

Rody on the other hand had been woken up from another nightmare. While they had lessened, they did come back once in a blue moon. He made his way into the kitchen, craving some of his husband's chocolate cake from earlier that day. However, when he opened the fridge, he was shocked to find the cake missing from its place. He started to search the refrigerator, completely unaware of his son watching him from the corner.

"Aww, did Vincent eat all the cake or something?" Rody mumbled to himself, closing the refrigerator door. A little snicker caught his attention and he turned to find his son crouched by one of the kitchen counters with the cake in his hands.

"So it was YOU who stole the cake?" Rody asked, lifting his son into his arms, "I thought Remy stole the cake or worse, your papa ate all the cake and left none for us."

Augustine laughed more at his dad's silly guesses, he held up the cake in front of his dad and said, "No dad, I had the cake! Papa didn't eat it all!"

Rody gasped dramatically and swooped the cake out of Augustine's hands. "Mon Coeur, how could you?" Rody asked, spinning them over to the microwave and setting it onto the counter next to it, "You didn't even think of sharing any with me?"

"No, you were sleeping dad!" Augustine exclaimed back in defense to his dad's accusation, "I would have to wake you up."

"Good point. Now let's get this over with." Rody said as he placed the cake into the microwave and closed it, turning the machine on to heat the cake. He dimmed the kitchen lights before the two watched as the cake spun round in circles, before coming to a stop eventually. What they didn't expect was the loud beeping from the microwave, signaling that the cake was done. Rody hoped Vincent wouldn't hear the microwave and picked up two spoons.

"I have to put you down for now my chochou, why don't you have a seat at the table and I'll get us the cake, hmm?" Rody asked as he gently placed his son back onto the ground. Augustine nodded and ran over to the dining table as Rody sighed and watched his son run off. He took a glance at the clock that now read 3:30 in the morning. He had to put Augustine in bed soon or else he'll be grumpy for the whole day throughout school. Rody took out the cake and chuckled as he watched his son's excitement shine through his eyes.

"I don't want your papa to find out we had cake this late at night, so hurry up and dig in before we get caught." Rody said, cutting small portions of the cake for the both of them. Augustine and Rody ate in silence, the cake's heat keeping them warm from the cold wind outside that made the apartment cold at night.

"Oh do you think Winnie could come over?" Augustine asked with his mouth full. It was a bad habit he picked up from his dad, "We wanted to play with his new toy car!"

Rody thought about it for a moment and nodded. He was familiar with one of Winnie's parents, Coworker, whom he remembered from his college days.

"I'll just ask your papa." Rody replied with his mouthful as well, "And swallow before you speak Augustine, it's not good to talk with a mouth full."

Augustine hummed in acknowledgement and went back to eating his cake slice.

"So that's what you're up to?" asked an all too familiar voice, startling both Rody and Augustine. Vincent stood by the doorframe, watching his family eat at 3 in the morning of all times. His eyes widened as he noticed the two eat the cake he made earlier and he marched over to the table.

"You are NOT eating chocolate cake at 3 A.M in this household." Vincent said as he stared Rody down. His attention then turned to his son who sat guilty, "And weren't you not supposed to have cake after causing that mess at the dinner table?"

Rody rolled his eyes and shoved another piece of cake into his mouth, "Relax Vince, we just got hungry. Nobody's going to die because they got hungry at 3."

"Rody don't speak with your mouth full." Vincent scolded, turning his attention away from the young boy who cracked a small smile at the scene in front of him. Vincent had his index finger pointed at Rody, directing attention at the messy auburn, "God you're messier than a 7 year old, Rody." He mumbled before using his thumb to vibe off small crumbs, "I can't believe the family of a chef is hungry of all families."

Augustine, just like his dad, continued to eat the cake in front of him. Vincent stared at Augustine in disbelief before sighing and moving his thumb away from Rody's lips. "How am I going to raise the both of you?" Vincent asked, swiftly picking up the cake and walking off into the kitchen to keep it back. A series of surprised protests erupted from behind him, making him roll his eyes. He turned around walked over to the table, Rody now slumped against his chair in disappointment and Augustine with a pout.

"Rody I want to see you in bed by the time I'm back from putting Augustine back." Vincent said sharply as he looked at Rody in the eyes, holding his hand out for Augustine to grab. Rody had been overheating in his seat unbeknownst to their son as the young boy held onto his papa's hand.

Augustine was led back down the hall into his room silently. His papa watched as he got back into the bed and helped tuck him in. "You've been quite the trouble maker lately, haven't you?" Vincent asked, running his hands through Augustine's hair before giving him a soft kiss on the forehead, "Bonne nuit, mon petit Chou."

Augustine smiled at his papa's soft actions, his mind and body slowly succumbing to sleep. He had to see Winnie tomorrow at school anyways, there was no point in staying awake. Even though the door had shut and his papa had probably walked away, he still mumbled a small, "Bonne nuit, papa." A thud sounded right behind his door, but he too tired to notice it. However the last thing he heard was his dad's voice behind his door, "Are you alright, Vince?"

END.

EXTRAS:

-Mon coeur quite literally means 'my heart'. I thought it would be funny to have Rody call Augustine that because of the Abbatoir ending.

-Mon petit chou is 'my little cabbage'. Thought this was perfect because Vincent is a chef. 

-Mon chouchou is of course a french nickname with the literal meaning being 'my cabbage'. It comes from mon petit chou, but I feel like Rody would've eventually butchered it to a cutesy version. Thus, the mon chouchou.