The Pointe Of The Game

Chapter 10

We arrive at Ms. Ava's house and I leave Ollie in the car hoping she can continue sleeping. I walk up to Ms. Ava's door and knock hoping that she'll recognize me. She opens the door and luckily I see the recognition dawn on her face and she lets me in. She then hands me Sofia's diaper bag and a feverish Sofia in her car seat. She then whips me out the door and closes it as soon as my feet are off the threshold. I walk little Sof to the car where I open the back and buckle her car seat inside. I place her diaper bag on the floor then I close the door and walk to my side and get in. Ollie is still asleep. Good she obviously needs it if she's in this deep of a sleep.

We arrive back home and I start to wake up Ollie. She slowly wakes up and looks at her surroundings and realizes that I've already gotten Sofia and we're at home. She looks at me and quietly says, "Thankyou for doing this." and then she opens the door and gets out and I do the same.

She grabs Sofia and I grab her diaper bag as we start walking up to the garage where she inputs the code and the garage roars to life as it opens. We walk inside and she immediately sets down Sof and takes off her shoes. I set down the diaper bag and do the same. She then bends down and unbuckles little Sofia from her car seat and takes her out and cradles her against her chest.

She starts to walk into the kitchen and goes to the fridge to get a sippy cup with water out for Sof and hands it to her. Sofia starts to drink the water and Ollie goes into the living room and starts changing her diaper on the little changing station they have in the corner. I follow after her and sit myself down on the couch figuring she probably wouldn't like me trying to take over. After she finishes, she brings Sofia upstairs to her room. She comes back down with the sippy cup and a baby monitor in her hand. She puts the cup back in the fridge and comes and sits down next to me. "Thankyou again, you don't have to do this for me, and honestly? I don't even know why you are." She says looking at her hands in her lap.

"You're welcome. But I like helping you with Sof and the others" I reply "I like kids remember?" I say trying to lighten the mood.

"But why? Why do you like being around me and why do you like helping me so much?" she asks and I can hear the frustration starting to come into her voice.

I give a one syllable laugh and say, "Can't you see Ollie? I've got a major crush on you. I have since the moment I saw you. Even though I've only been here for a short time, I'm already more concerned about you than your parents probably are. You make something stir inside my chest. I don't know what it is, nor have I ever felt this before. I want to figure it all out with you. I want to know all the ins and outs of you and I want to be able to feel with you and maybe even fall in love with you. And I'm begging you, please don't shut me out. I know I'm saying a lot; but if I'm saying something wrong, feel free to straighten me out but please, just listen to what I'm saying." I already know there is a 50/50 chance of either her shutting me out and making me leave, or letting me stay and we talk about it and possibly become something more. I find her eyes downcast and try to gauge her reaction. Her eyes are wide, her breathing has become sporadic and she has this tortured look on her face. Oh no. What. Did. I. Do.

Fear seizes in my throat; I think I took it too far. But once I was voicing my feelings, they all just came tumbling out.

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Olivia Beckham

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-just listen to what I'm saying." I hear his voice but I can't register what he's saying. I can't breathe. What did he say?!? He wants to LOVE ME?!? Why can't I breathe? I'm gonna die. I can't have a panic attack in front of him. My throat feels swollen. I can hear Charlie telling me something but I don't know what it is. He's trying to get my attention. What's he saying? Why can't I hear him!?!Oh no. no no no no no no no 

What's happening? Why can't I do anything? I can feel tears gathering in my eyes. Why am I crying? I feel something on my cheek. It's soft and warm. It's comforting-it helps me. But what is it? Suddenly it's gone and my cheek feels cold again.

Charlie's still trying to talk to me. He wants to LOVE ME. What in the heck. No one's ever wanted to love me before.

 I. Can't. Breathe.

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Charlie Williams

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I don't know what to do. I think she's having a panic attack but I've never known anyone or experienced them myself so I don't know what to do. I try to talk to her: "Ollie look at me." "Ollie breathe" "Olivia just relax." But it's like she can't hear me. She's crying now and she has tears streaming down her face. I use my thumb to wipe them away and she looks my way. Ok so maybe I need to touch her? 

I decide to go all the way and I pull her into my embrace and just hug her. I can feel her racing pulse and clammy skin. She's grasping at her chest like something's suffocating her. I hug her gently hoping that I'm not doing this all wrong. I don't know what to do. Suddenly an idea pops into my head: call mom. I gently release Ollie because I can't tell if it's doing her any good or not. and grab my phone out of my pocket and quickly dial mom. Luckily she answers right away and I explain the situation in a panicky voice. She tells me I need to talk to her so I try talking to her. But again, It's like she can't hear me. I tell my mom this and she tells me to tell Ollie I'm going to touch her then to start rubbing small circles on Ollie's back. As I'm doing that, she tells me to take her hand and bring it up to her chest so she can become more aware of her breathing. She tells me I need to be calm when she relaxes and to just keep acknowledging her surroundings with her. Then we say goodbye and she hangs up. I mentally make a note to research some more about panic attacks.

I continue rubbing her back while her breathing starts to return to normal. She finally looks at me with her tearstained bloodshot eyes, and I hold my arms out for a hug to which she falls into and starts to cry again. She wraps her arms around my torso so tight that it surprises me that such a tiny human has such strength. I slowly start to rub circles on her back through her hoodie again. We stay like this for at least 15 minutes until she is calmed down enough that all I can hear is the occasional deep breath of her trying to control her breathing. I look down at her to see her eyes are closed and she looks much more relaxed. I still my hand that's on her back and as softly of a voice I could mutter, I say, "Are you ok? Are you feeling better?"

I feel her slightly nod her head in my lap and it makes me smile that she feels so comfortable with me. I take this opportunity to figure out how we're going to go about this because obviously this wasn't the right way. I decide I need to let her take the reins and we can go from there. I reach behind my back to unwrap her hands when she just puts them right back where they were. I chuckle out of her decisiveness to stay in my clutches. "Are we going to talk about this?" I ask her softly

"No" is the grumpy response we get. Like a little child refusing to clean up their toys.

"Did you hear anything I said ollie" 

"Yeah I heard most of it" comes her muffled response. "But I don't understand why. Why you feel that way and why you feel that way about ME."

"I don't know why I feel it but I do, and I think it's my soul's way of telling me I've found it's mate." I say, "Don't you feel it? That tightening in your chest, and the way your heart beats a little faster when we enter each other's proximity."

"I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that's supposed to mean something. And it's not just because you're new and different. It's because I know I have found my person and I think you know it too, that deep down you know that I am speaking what you're afraid to say."

I feel her breath hitch and I know that hit her hard. She suddenly sits up and looks at me with the most tranquil expression on her face. 

"My soul knew I needed solace, and destiny sent you. I feel it too" She says with silent tears streaming down her cheeks and a wobbly smile.

I give her a smile and it feels like I've finally come home.