leave me lonely | joshler

Three days have passed since Tyler told Josh he needed to think. Three days since Josh agreed to give him space. Three days since they have last spoken. Three days since Josh has been slowly losing his mind at the mere thought that Tyler was done with him. That he was done with them.

Work and his children weren't enough to distract him from the constant glances at his phone, jumping at the sound of his or anyone's phone ringing. Josh missed Tyler. He wanted to see him, talk to him, anything really. He wanted to know if he was okay. He wanted to know what he was thinking, what he was doing, if he had somehow missed him too. But, Tyler asked for space and time, and Josh was going to do that even if it slowly ripped apart his skin each day.

"He'll reach out. I know he will."

Josh looked up from checking his phone and noticed Dallon had a reassuring smile on his face. He could only slightly nod his head as an answer and lock his phone, going back to working on plastering walls as a distraction. Josh hated walls. They seemed to be a metaphor of his life. Watching and building walls and suffocating in his thoughts.

                                      —

It was 6:30PM that evening and Josh had finished cleaning the kitchen post dinner. Him and his children were currently playing Mario Kart in the living room and he was unfortunately getting his ass handed to him by his son.

"What the heck bear how are you so good at this game! You must be cheating!" Josh groaned as the tv showed that Grayson in fact came in first place.

"S-silly Dad! I l-love g-games." Grayson giggled. Josh clicked his tongue. "Hmm, guess I gotta stop letting you play them as much as I do if you are going to continue to beat me." He joked.

"Nuh-uh!" Grayson whined. Josh just laughed and kissed his forehead. He handed the controller to Laila and watched them play a round.

Josh was so hyperfocused on the game he almost didn't notice his phone was buzzing next to him. Almost. He reached down and grabbed his phone and his heart skipped a beat and got caught in his throat when he realized what and who was on the screen.

"Incoming Call: Tyler"

It was absurd how fast Josh stood up. He looked at his children who were playing Mario Kart. "I have to take this really quickly. I will be right back. You keep playing." He spoke to them before going in his room and shutting the door. He pressed the green button, palms sweaty as his hands started to shake. Josh felt like he was going to pass out.

"Tyler?" He whispered.

"Hi, Josh." A voice responded that squeezed Josh's heart until it exploded over and over and over again. He missed that voice so much.

"Hi." He said, tears welling in his eyes.

Neither of them said anything for a good 30 seconds but Josh could hear Tyler breathing on the other line, he didn't know if it was good or bad.

"I think I am done thinking now."

Josh's body, mostly his heart felt tight as he heard what Tyler had said.

"I-Is that good or bad?" The tremble in Josh's voice was present as he waited to hear what Tyler had to say. Tyler let out a breath on the other end of the phone. "It means I have a lot to say and I know you do too. Is there any way you could come over right now? So I can see you?"

A tiny smile appeared on Josh's face. "Yeah I think I can do that. I will see you in an hour."

The two talked for a couple more minutes before hanging up. Josh felt more reassured after the conversation but he still had no clue what was going on in Tyler's mind. He had no clue what could happen when he got to Tyler's place. The possibilities were endless and that is what scared him.