Letters I Can't Send

12

I tap the MP3 Player a couple of times and it starts playing music quietly through a small speaker near the bottom. Draco looks like a cross between confused and amazed. "And...this is how you listen to your muggle music?" He asks and glances back and forth between me and the contraption I hold in my hand.

I nod and hold back another laugh. "Yes, you dimbo, this is how I listen to my muggle music." I tap another button on the small screen and show him other songs I listen to.

"Billy Joel, The Beatles, Billy Joel, Clairo...hm." He muses. "Interesting."

I roll my eyes and smirk. "What's interesting about the music I listen to, Malfoy? Doesn't meet your high standards?"

He huffs out a laugh of his own and shakes his head. I put my MP3 Player back into my bag and face him again. "You can thank me now," he says.

"Oh, right." I had forgotten the whole reason I showed him my MP3 Player in the first place. "Thank you—for punching the ice cream stand man, I suppose. Thanks for making him pay some of his fee," I smile a bit—a real smile, one that makes him smile himself.

"You're welcome," He gives me a small nod. Then we just look at each other a moment, taking in each other and studying each other.

He takes a small step closer to me, gazes down on me, eyes roaming over my face in a way I can't really explain. I look away, gulp and walk away, my back facing him. "We should really clean this room before Professor McGonagall comes back—we don't want double detention because we didn't do it right the first time," I come up a logical excuse, but I don't to show him how flustered I am. How I liked him that close. How I liked his eyes on me. Liked him tugging on my hair and wondering about my music. But, yes, I will deny to myself that I enjoyed it. I will deny that I wanted him to be even closer to me. I will deny that I loved that he punched a man for me. I will deny that I regretted that night in the common room when I said he couldn't use my first name and that I hated him. I will deny that he makes me laugh, that he makes me smile and puts me on the edge of my seat.

I take a deep breath and turn to face him once more. He looks at me like nothing just happened. Like he didn't just almost kiss me. Like wasn't just interested in something I'm interested in. So, I just smile sweetly, in a sarcastic way people who hate each other would smile, and keep cleaning off one of the desks.

Silence rolls over us and I hate it.

..........

"You're awfully quiet," Quinn points out when we are both laying on our beds in our dorm.

I lie on my stomach, reading a book, I don't look at her yet. "Aren't I always?" I turn the page of the book.

"You're just extra quiet today," She sits up on her bed—which is right next to mine—and watches me curiously.

"Hm. I don't know what to tell you," It's just us in the dorm, so I know if I wanted to tell her the reason, I could.

"Was it detention? Did something happen with Malfoy? I think he fancies you, you know." At this, I sit up and throw my pillow at her.

"Shut up," I say, fighting my smile.

"What? Do you fancy him too?" She smirks and throws my pillow back at me.

"Oh my gosh, Quinn, do you want me come over there?" I can't hold the smile in anymore, I start laughing. "I swear—drop this now." I warn her.

She puts her hands in the air defensively, grinning.

After a while, we calm down and Quinn's features soften. "No, really—what did happen in detention? It's gotta be why you're all quiet right now."

I take a moment to answer. I think it over if I trust or not with deeper things about me—not that Draco and I almost kissing is deep, but things I wouldn't tell just anyone. I give in finally. "Well, he almost...well, we maybe...I think—"

"Spit it out, Y/n," Quinn rolls her eyes and laughs at my inability to form a response.

I sigh. "I think we almost kissed." I say bluntly.

She raises her eyebrows in surprise. "Kiss? I knew he fancied you," She smiles proudly.

I shake my head dismissively. "No, no. I hate him. It's not like that." I wave my hands around like the thought of that is absurd—because it is.

Quinn shrugs. "Well, we'll see, I suppose—things change, people change." I roll my eyes at her cliche remark. "I'm serious—though I do sees Pansy cozying up to him, so...you might not have to worry about him for too long after she snatches him up." I cringe at her choice of words. But it's true, Pansy is getting closer to Draco, and I tell myself I don't care. Right?

a/n: I feel like doing author's notes at the end of every chapter so that's what i'm gonna do :)

also wanted more time with our bestie Quinn, so here it is

next chapter soon