We've Been Here Before

Twelve - Cameron

Luke pulled away from Gwen, glancing between us, clearly confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Come on," she said, her eyes never leaving mine. "Cam's been acting weird. You don't think I've noticed? He's, like, obsessed with you, Luke."

My face burned, and I opened my mouth to defend myself, but nothing came out. What was I supposed to say? That she was right? That I had feelings for her boyfriend? That I was hoping for something that wasn't ever going to happen?

Luke frowned, looking uncomfortable. "Gwen, chill out. What are you even talking about? Cam and I are just friends."

"Are you?" she snapped, finally looking away from me and at Luke. "Because it doesn't look that way from where I'm sitting."

I wanted to crawl into the ground and disappear. This wasn't how the night was supposed to go. I wasn't supposed to get called out in front of everyone. But Gwen wasn't letting up. Her eyes bore into me, like she could see right through all the excuses I wanted to make.

"I'm not—" I stammered, but she cut me off.

"Save it. I don't care about whatever you have to say. Just stay away from Luke."

I looked at Luke, hoping he'd say something, but he just sat there, looking like he didn't know what to do.

Gwen's face was cold, like she wasn't just angry—she was disgusted. And it hurt. It was like she had ripped open everything I'd been trying to keep hidden and thrown it into the open for everyone to see. I wanted to say something to make it all go away, to smooth things over, but I couldn't find the words. And maybe part of me didn't want to.

I glanced around the circle. Reagan was staring at us open-mouthed, and Emily...where the fuck was Emily? Luke was staring at Gwen, his brow furrowed, and for a second, I thought he might actually say something, stand up for me, or at least try to smooth things over. But he didn't. He just stood there, his jaw clenched, doing nothing.

He's not going to defend you, a voice in my head whispered.

My fists clenched at my sides, nails digging into my palms. "What's your problem, Gwen?" I forced the words out through gritted teeth. "Why are you being paranoid? Are you really that insecure in yourself, you have to say stupid shit to try to hurt other people? Can't stand that Luke has other people in his life besides you?"

Her eyes narrowed, cold and mean, like she had been waiting for this moment. "I'm not paranoid, Cam. I see the way you look at him. You're practically drooling every time he so much as breathes in your direction."

"Shut up," I said, but my voice didn't come out scathing like I wanted it to. I sounded unsure of myself.

"Or what?" she shot back, raising her eyebrows "You gonna make me?"

Luke was right there, acting like we weren't talking about him right in front of him, not saying a damn thing.

"You don't know shit."

Gwen stepped forward, her face angry. "Oh, I know enough. You think you're so slick, don't you? Sneaking around, looking at my boyfriend like you've got a chance." She let out a cruel laugh. "You're just some pathetic, little—"

"Gwen!" Luke finally spoke up, cutting her off, but it was too late.

I knew my face was beet red by that point. And I also felt my eyes beginning to tear up despite my best efforts to push it down. To keep pushing all of my emotions down, to never think too hard about how much it hurt that I couldn't have Luke. And I knew she was right; I was pathetic, going after her boyfriend. My best friend.