The Moons Halo of Light

Important note: all elvish will be underlined and in italics

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Legolas PoV
She was in so much pain. I wanted to pull it from her and make it my own. Someone as pure as my Ayla should never have to deal with such internal struggles. It was getting worse. Her eyes become more downcast everyday, avoiding eye contact. Her shoulders are slumped inward as if they carry the world on them. I doubt she knows that she has her arms crossed around her midsection every time I see her, like she would fall to pieces if she let go.

I felt like the most useless partner in all of Arda. She has avoided me the past week. Gimli and Aragorn convinced me to give her space, that she will seek us out if she wished to talk. But it went against everything in my being. I wanted to talk to her, hold her, reassure her. Even if she didn't want that I wished to be within two feet of her, over her shoulder at all times, just in case she changed her mind and needed me. I felt helpless and useless all at once. She needed space. I needed her....... But if it's between my wants and needs and hers, I will give in every time. As along as she was safe and happy. I would lie down on a bed of nails while Gimli danced on my back, just to see her smile again.

It dawned on me as I watched Aragorn drag the man's unconscious body away, to probably be seen by a healer, that I'd seen this play out before in the golden wood. The mirror showed me attacking the filth. He's lucky to be alive, my skin crawled like it was itchy. I held onto Ayla tighter so I did not follow them and finish the job. Was I protective of her? Yes! Was it too over protective...... no. Yes she had diffused the situation before I got there, but for her to get so frustrated to attack, he must of been persistent. Ayla wasn't one to attack unless there was no other option. I bawled my fists in anger. He deserved far more than he was served. But seeing this play out exactly like the mirror gave me a renewed sense of hope. It still was an unsettling hope, but hope nonetheless. Even more unsettling was me blindly trusting that things will work out in the end like the mirror suggested... but the scar still confuses me.

"You are thinking very hard, my love. Your body has gone rigid. If it is about the ogre we both took down then let it go. You can teach him no more lessons tonight." Ayla's raised her head so she could meet my eyes as she spoke. Her tears had dried, but her eyes were still puffy and her cheeks were red. But still she was the brightest star in my sky. "I will not lie to you and tell you I have not entertained that notion in my head, but I find that my body is entertaining a greater pull to stay here with you in my arms." I kissed her forehead and tightened my arms around her. She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

She pulled away and took my hand and led me to the railing just behind us, where we overlooked the plains of Edoras. As I studied her face she raised her palm to my cheek, which sent shivers down my spine. I had missed her touch. "I am sorry, Legolas" she whispered sadly. Her eyes brimming with tears. I hated seeing her upset. "There is nothing to be sorry for, my love! Please don't cry, it hurts my heart. Talk to me, let me help you. Let me share your burden." I held her two hands in mine and placed soft kisses over the back of them.

"I am trying. I really am! I don't know why my thoughts are so hopeless and debilitating. I thought I could handle these feelings by myself, but I feel as if I am drowning and too tired to swim anymore." She dragged her fingers down the length of her wavy ebony hair. The moon reflected off her hair beautifully, giving it a radiant, goddess like glow. "Then let me help you. Don't push me away anymore." I bent over til my eyes were level with hers. Pulling her hands to my chest with my own. "You do not always have to be in control. I know you did not want to worry me, but I have every right to be worried. I am a new ellon since I met you. My life now holds you lovingly at its core. If you are in pain, then I am in pain. There is no way around it. Please do not deny me the pleasure of being the person you come to for support. I do not love you because you are just beautiful and perfect in every way. I love you for being you, entirely you. Sad, happy, hopeful, anxious. I love it all. Your kindness, to others, your preserverence through any obstacle, your selflessness through these dark times. I know you do not feel your strongest right now, and that's okay. Just lean on me. In this I will not allow myself to fail."

She let out a short sad chuckle and squeezed my hands. "You have rendered me speechless. I love you Legolas Thranduilion. More than I believe I have shown you." She took in an unsteady breath in and turned her head towards the plains. Her eyes searching for the words.

"Since the vision in Helms Deep, my heart is heavy. I fear one more will mentally break me. Like I am frayed at the edges, and my sanity is slipping. But in all this, I cannot come up with a reason why. Is it the visions? Is it being parted from the crystal? Is it my imminent prophesied death? I go in circles, all day and all night. Nothing holds my attention like these thoughts do. Food has no flavour, the world has no colour. I wanted so badly to talk to someone.... To you. But I don't know what to say. I feel like I am sorting through the chaos in my head and all the madness in my heart, but it doesn't get any better, only worse." She was becoming frantic, letting go of my hands and using hers to describe her words. I gently place my hands on her cheeks, cradling her face.

"I too, am concerned by these visions. I can see that you are physically and mentally weaker everytime. I hate that we also have no control over them, no idea when the next one will take you. But I promise I am not leaving your side. I will be with you and will do what I can to make it as easy as possible for you. I won't let you keep me at a distance anymore. I refuse to watch you struggle. Ayla.....I adore you." I pull her into my chest and hold her firmly against me. I am just as clueless as her on how to fix this, but I will not let her struggle alone.

We held each other until the early hours of the morning. Just reassuring each other that the other isn't going anywhere. Just before the sun rose she groaned, starting to separate from my arms. "The smell of the ale is making me nauseous, im going to bathe and change into somthing clean and dry." I coughed a laugh at her words. She was not wrong, the smell was getting stronger somehow. She rose up onto her toes to kiss me goodbye. "You smell like you were bathing in it. I love you too. Come find me once you've changed." And I kissed her one more time before she left me to change. I watched after her long after she left my sight. Contented feeling filling my body. I still wished for her to open up to me more, but tonight was a good start. Hopefully I can help her heal.

Aragorn joined me a little later as the sun started to peak through the horizon. "His eyes have already turned a fine shade of purple and black and he is still unconscious. He will not forget what happened anytime soon." I huffed at his words, my mood instantly soured by the mention of the brute. "Have you come to berate me Aragorn? Because I will never regret hitting him. He is lucky that is all I did." Crossing my arms defensively.

Aragorn raised his hands in defence, and I instantly felt regret for my tone. This is one of many times lately that he has received my anger for something he didn't do, just because of my recent mood swings. "Not at all, but you do realise this is the third male you have come to blows with since you met Ayla. You have always been cool calm and collected, this new Legolas is not quite as relaxed as the old one." He was right, yet again. But I still felt defensive, when it comes to these fights I believe they were warranted.

"Put yourself in my shoes, and Arwen in hers... would you have let him walk away." Aragorn looks into the distance, trying to suppress his dark thoughts as he thought of his love leaving for the undying lands. My regret deepened. "Forgive me my friend, I did not mean to darken your mood, it is thoughtless of me to bring the lady Arwen up." Aragorn did not answer, just shook his head to dispel his grim thoughts and smiled at me, but it seemed forced. "Love... not as easy as it is in theory, is it mellon." I smiled back at him, and placed my hand on his shoulder, and shook my head no, with sad mirth.

We lapsed into a silence. I could feel somthing dark pulling on my consciousness. I felt very unsettled. "The stars are veiled, somthing stirs in the east.... A sleepless malice. The eye of the enemy is moving." My skin felt like it was crawling. I pushed at the feeling hoping to decipher it when it hit me like a ram, I turned to Aragorn urgently. "He is here!"

Big love 🥰