《 Late recognition 》

"Mavuika."

I called out as I walked towards her, my armour softly clanking against each other, my footsteps softly hitting the ground.

She turned her head slightly, glancing towards my way as I strided towards her. She stood in place, looking over her shoulder, silently showing her attention is on me.

"This.. is a bit out of character of me — yet.. I can't help but wonder, dont you.. remember me?" I ask, my voice gruff and hoarse as usual, my arms hanging to my sides.

"Remember you..?" Mavuika questioned, while her brows furrowed, tilting her head as she crossed her arms. Turning fully towards me, she continued. "You mean.. remember you later on?"

"No.. i—" I halt in the middle of my sentence, trying to find a proper way to respond as the sound of people talking was heard around me, my ears zoning it all out.

"I don't think it's best if you do remember me after you fully do." I replied as i glanced to the side, watching a civil person walk by.

"And what do you mean by that?"
"it's.. complicated once you see."
"Ah. okay."

There then was a moment of silence between us, none of wanting to break it.

"My apologies for the weird question — it.. just randomly came up."

"No, no. it's alright, that happens to me sometimes." she responded with a slight smile.

Something about that smile made my heart flutter — and clench. it was something that brought back memories.

Memories I would do so much to go back to..

"I'll.. see you then." I say quietly and gruffly as I turn around onto my heel, walking away, my hands slightly clenching without myself knowing it.

"See.. you.." she said as her smile faded, her fingers twitching on her arm.

As I walked, I passed several people, planning to simply head to a corner and flip through my thoughts;

How did something so simple — get to his heart? He almost felt his heart clenching in a way never felt after.. years. Centuries. It was something so.. measly and small, his heart felt.. different, something he hadn't felt after everything.

The celebration was once over, everyone else heading home with their friends. I was one of the people to first leave alone, heading back to my house as I had my hands loosely clenched.

As I walked silently under the night sky, glittering with stars all around, I kept my mind buried deep in my thoughts.

Once I had reached home, I opened the door, sighing quietly to myself. I wasn't getting sleep at all this time, was I? I walk through the hallway after shutting the door behind me, heading to my bedroom as i took off my coat and changed into a simple shirt and pants, revealing the scars and rotten looking flesh on my arms.

"I'm not getting better, am I?" I mutter to myself as I then scoffed. Folding up my clothes, I walk towards the bathroom, looking at the reflection of myself with my helmet on, hesitating and contemplating if I should take it off.

After a moment of silence and hesitation, I brought my rough hands up to my helmet, taking it off.

"God dammit." I mumble as I look at myself in the mirror, placing the helmet onto the sink counter. Looking straight at my own reflection, I could see the dead and sparkless eyes. So.. black and mundane.

'I suppose that's why people say; eyes are the gates to ones' soul.' I thought to myself, gazing into my own blue eyes.

It really did show how much I went through all along. Losing everybody I had in life. Losing someone who supported me. Someone who was willing to sacrifice themselves for others—

I suddenly shook my head, realising I was getting too ahead of myself. Someone probably had a worse past.

Surely.

I sighed quietly to myself, running my fingers through my long and black hair. I glanced towards the side, slightly embarrassed after thinking about Mavuika in such a praising manner.

...Yes, she did have good traits, yet at the same time, he couldn't get too close. Everything would turn into small pieces of glass that were shattered onto the floor if he did.

I soon get out of the bathroom, leaving my helmet on the sink instead of taking it with me. The only thing that was heard throughout the hallway was my own soft breaths and footsteps. It was always like this; solitude. It wasn't like he didn't like it — in fact, he simply didn't mind it at all. It was something he got used to. Something he was practically born for.

I was heading straight to my room — or, so-called office — until my breath hitched into my throat, a sharp yet familiar pain clenching in my chest. I leaned against the wall, holding myself up as I covered my mouth and coughed up blood onto my palm.

"Damnit..." I grumbled while coughing weakly once more after looking down at my palm. "I really am getting worse.."

...

"Capitano?"

A voice called out as I sat next to the wall, my back pressed up against the cold studwalls after what felt like hours. My eyes were closed as my head lulled to the side, while the sound of soft footsteps approaching me faded into the background like a white noise...

"....."

Every sound of movement or word had been completely muffled as I fell asleep upright against the wall.

Silence. The peaceful sound of tranquillity around me. It felt.. alien to me. It was never like this. It was all children and adults screaming, fighting for their lives. Yet, in the very end, everything was all abandoned and destroyed..

I too, also was one of those adults.

...

It all still haunts me till this day..