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Chapter 1 – If Only You Knew
(Jennie’s POV)
They say people like me don’t fall in love.
Because I don’t smile easily. Because my eyes don’t reveal much. Because my words are measured, guarded, and sharp when they need to be.
But the truth is… people like me do fall in love.
We just suffer silently.
It’s been a year since I met Lisa Manoban.
He transferred into our business program out of nowhere—tall, effortlessly cool, and annoyingly charismatic. From the first moment he entered the classroom, he became everyone’s favorite. Professors loved his sharp mind. Students adored his easy smile. Girls followed him like shadows. Even guys liked having him around.
Me? I watched it all from a distance. Like I always do. Like I was supposed to.
Because I don’t get close to people.
And when I do… I make sure they never get close to me.
Except… he didn’t care.
He sat next to me the first day, offering his hand with that dumb grin of his and said, “I’m Lisa. You’re Jennie, right? I’ve heard about you.”
I didn’t answer. I just nodded. Cold. Distant.
But he didn’t walk away.
He stayed. And somehow, over the months, he found his way into my world.
Now, we’re friends.
At least… that’s what he thinks we are.
---
I stepped onto campus early that morning. The sky was a dull gray, threatening rain, but the cool breeze helped mask the way my stomach twisted. I wore a long black coat over my uniform—black slacks, a crisp white shirt, nothing too flashy. My expression was blank, as always. Eyes sharp. Steps confident.
I spotted Lisa before he saw me—leaning against the side of the business building, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a coffee. He looked half-asleep, hair tousled and shirt untucked. Girls walking past him whispered and giggled.
He didn’t seem to notice.
Or maybe he just didn’t care.
“Jennie!” he called when his eyes landed on me.
I didn’t smile. I never did. I just raised my brow slightly, the only greeting I ever gave him.
He jogged up to me anyway, grinning like I was the best part of his morning.
“Don’t tell me you’re actually early today.”
“I’m always on time. You’re just late,” I replied, voice calm and cold as I walked past him.
He laughed, catching up to me. “Harsh, as usual.”
I didn’t answer. I didn’t need to.
---
We took our seats in the front row. Lisa beside me, like always. He pulled out his laptop, leaned toward me, and whispered, “I saved you a seat in case you ghosted again.”
“I don’t ghost,” I said, not looking at him.
“You vanish for three days without answering anyone.”
I opened my notebook. “Exactly. Not a ghost. A shadow.”
He laughed again, too easily. “God, you’re weird. In a cool way.”
That word again. Cool.
Like I was some mysterious breeze he liked chasing.
Not someone hurting every time he mentioned another girl.
---
The class dragged on. Marketing strategies. Consumer behavior. Lisa was typing notes like a machine while occasionally bumping my shoulder. He smelled like cinnamon and coffee. I hated how much I noticed.
I hated that I had memorized his scent.
---
After class, we walked together to the campus café. Jisoo and Rosé were already there, sitting by the window. Jisoo waved lazily while sipping her iced Americano.
“Look who’s here,” she smirked as I sat down across from her. “The Ice Queen and her sunshine.”
I gave her a cold stare. She smirked harder.
Rosé leaned in slightly. “You two look good today. Lisa, you didn’t even comb your hair, huh?”
Lisa scratched his head. “You think? I just rolled outta bed.”
“You always look good even when you don’t try,” Rosé muttered, mostly to herself.
I pretended not to hear. I was good at pretending.
---
Then Jisoo said it.
“Did you ask her yet?”
I froze.
Lisa grinned. “Not yet. Maybe today. Depends on how brave I feel.”
I stirred my coffee slowly. My heart thudded loudly in my ears.
Rosé looked at me with sympathy in her eyes. She knew. Of course she knew. She always did.
Lisa continued, oblivious. “Yuna’s cute, right? From economics. She was at the library yesterday. Helped me find a case study file.”
Yuna. The name alone felt like a needle in my chest.
I looked out the window. The rain had started.
“Didn’t know you were into Yuna,” Jisoo said, carefully.
Lisa shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s sweet. I figured… why not?”
Why not.
Because I’m sitting right here, maybe?
Because I love you, maybe?
But I said nothing. I didn’t flinch. Didn’t cry. Didn’t ask why.
---
After lunch, we walked together to the courtyard. The rain had lightened into a mist, and Lisa walked close to me under his umbrella.
“Are you okay?” he asked softly. “You’ve been quiet today.”
“I’m always quiet,” I said.
“Quieter than usual.”
I looked up at him, then away. “Do you want me to fake a smile just for you?”
He blinked, then laughed under his breath. “No. I like you just the way you are.”
No, you don’t.
You like Yuna.
He offered me the umbrella handle. “Here. You hold it. My hand’s cold.”
I took it without a word.
And we kept walking—two people under one umbrella, one heart already breaking.
---
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