Jax x Reader ~Enemies to Lovers~

Chapter Nine: Concern

A barely noticeable growl emitted from my throat from how he turned the tables onto me from the fact I showed concern for him of all people. "Okay, sure. Then next time I won't show concern whenever you seem off. Fine by me."

~Jax's POV~

A smirk was spread on my face at how aggravated they were, though parts of me felt...what was the emotion? Guilt? Is that even something I'm able to feel? In all honesty, I just didn't want them to know or see any sort of vulnerability coming from me, especially with how much they seem to hate almost every snarky thing that leaves my mouth.

"Alright, dollface. Whatever you say," I responded with a grin, even though I was anything but smug. Nerves ate my insides, knowing exactly why I probably seemed so 'off' as they called it. My mind hasn't stopped spiraling lately, and I've been aware of that. But for the past few days, ever since Kaufmo's abstraction and seeing Y/N for the first time, it's been giving me a pit in my stomach, knowing that abstraction is all that will wait for us at the end of this digital tunnel.

I would NEVER admit this to them, but even if I try to deny it, throughout the past couple days, an epiphany dawned on me. I cared about them. Not just in a normal way, either. The very THOUGHT that they'd abstract makes me feel devastated. It came to the point that last night--though Caine claimed it was super rare and uncommon--I had a nightmare last night about Y/N abstracting.

The nightmare started out with me and Y/N talking and poking fun at one another, like we normally did. Then, suddenly, the atmosphere got darker and more dreary. Y/N looked almost spaced out, like their thoughts were running wild or something. I tried capturing their attention by waving my hand in front of their face and calling out their name, but there was no response.

Without warning, they started abstracting. In. Front. Of. Me. Obviously, I was mortified, since they seemed to be confused and shocked, yet also in pain while their body was distorting into a black mass of glitches and colorful eyes, just like Kaufmo. Fear pounded in my body as the glitched distortion that was once Y/N looked at me and started chasing after me, obviously having no control of its body anymore.

Before I was able to escape, the abstraction slammed me into the wall, beating me until my whole body was cut with glitches, and the pain was immeasurable. After being beaten by the abstraction, my vision slowly faded to black, which was when I woke up from the nightmare.

The nightmare felt so real that once I saw Y/N walk into my room, it was a huge breath of fresh air for me and it almost made me feel a strange source of peace. But I couldn't let them know that. It would be idiotic to suddenly express my feelings, when I'm afraid of letting somebody inside my walls, certainly somebody I ended up caring about so much. It will only leave me with pain, knowing that eternal abstraction was the only way out of this digital world. This digital hell.

"Jax? You're spacing out again," Y/N's voice cut through my thoughts, making me blink in surprise before glancing at them and their knowing glance. Dammit. I should really stop doing that if I don't want them to know my nightmare last night and the looming fears that I still have.

"No I wasn't," I lied. "I was just faking the whole 'spacing out thing' just to see how you would react." Okay, now I'm starting to think I was some impulsive liar when people get a little too close to comfort when it comes to my vulnerabilities. Since I didn't even think before spouting out some nonsense that was an obvious lie, I could tell Y/N didn't believe me one bit.

"Sure," They sighed. Their annoyed tone sent a stinging sensation piercing through my heart, but I kept my cocky smile as I glanced at them.

"What? You think I would lie about something like this?"

Their face deadpanned. "Yes. Yes, I do."

I tried my best to not laugh at their words, since of course they would think I'm lying. I was, after all. "Of course you do. You never believe me, dollface. Your words hurt. You wound me, Y/N." My voice was laced with as much dramatic energy as I could muster. Because of my tone, Y/N snickered, though a hint of a scowl laced their lips.

"Oh, boo-hoo. Cry about it," They snapped with a cocky grin. I don't know why, but I always loved talking to them, even when they're being snarky or kinda rude half of the time. Though, I was basically the same way towards them, so I couldn't judge.

"I will and it will be your fault. Just like how we're STILL walking on this dirt path to who-knows-where-with-no-exit."

Y/N looked ahead of us for the first time in a while (since they've been glancing at me most of the time), their eyes widened.

"F*beep*. We still have a long ways to go."

"Yep. So let's get to it, dollface." My eyes playfully narrowed at them. "Unless you want to be trapped here forever." Wow, way to go. Weren't they panicking about that 15 minutes ago? God, I'm so apathetic sometimes.

Their eyes widened for a moment. "Yep, okay, got it. Let's keep going."

~~~

Hey guys! Another chapter down, that was basically useless filler and talking to Jax. Don't worry, I plan on making chapter ten about catching up with the group or whatever is going on when it comes to this "nature walk." It was also my first time doing a full Jax POV. Did you like it? Hate it? Was it accurate or inaccurate? I would like to know thoughts and opinions so I can make future chapters better. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, and I also hope you'll have a lovely day!

-Sincerely, CB