Aftermath

Chapter 7

You better stop ignoring my messages, lovely! It's pissing me off!

I tap out my response:

Consider yourself blocked, asshole!

As I try to catch my breath, I watch the three bubbles flash back and forward on my phone as this person drafts another message to me.

Ping

You can block me from your phone, but not from your life. LOL

What the hell!

I respond right away:

WTF!! Keep this up and I'll report you to the cops!!

Within seconds my phone pings again:

HAHAHAH!!!!!! As smart as you think you are, you're not too smart when it counts!!!!!

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POV Ashely

When I see Erin step through the restaurant door, I near choke on my water. I wasn't expecting her to come back. But this... this is hopeful. A happy relief, to be honest.

I take her in as she crosses the room, shifting in my chair, looking from the gentle swing of her hips to her skinny legs in those tight blue jeans. She's put on a couple of kilos in the last year, not much, but enough to give her a more nourished appearance.

Erin pulls the chair out and sits, her chest rising and falling fast.

"You come back?" I say in a neutral tone.

She blows out a heavy breath and nods. 

"Not that I'm staying. I'm only here because I want you to know something." 

She sets her phone on the table and unwraps the scarf from her head. Her shoulder length hair is damp, and her waves gone now.

"First," I say, "allow me to apologize for being pushy before." I watch her tap at her phone, which has me wondering if she's listening to me. "For upsetting you. You don't need to tell me what happened, Erin. And I should have known you'd be uncomfortable with the questions."

She looks up from her phone as if she hasn't heard a word I said.

"As I told you earlier, I'm not interested in dwelling on the past. However, I will tell you this... I think it's important that you know... everything my mother told you back then is true... I had a breakdown." She looks at her fingers and picks at edge of her thumbnail. "I had to be admitted to hospital... because I... God, this is difficult." She nibbles at her lip, looking vulnerable. "Well, I..."

"Erin, it's ok. You don't need to explain. It was insensitive of me to ask."

She sets her hand flat on the table. "Still, I want you to know that what happened to me was a result of everything that was going on in my life... the strip club... Michael, that lap dance. Michael." Her flushed cheeks pale at the mention of his name, which has me wondering if there is something more she is neglecting to mention. Or maybe I'm more suspicious than normal since her indiscretions with him had affected me so much. Even if there is something more to all this, I am in no position to challenge her.

"I'm not sure why you've shown up, but I hope it's not about me?"

"Well, yes, part of it. As I told you, I'm worried about you."

"Then problem solved. As you can see, I'm fine... happy, and Zach's a big part of that... but... whether you realize it, you're causing problems, disrupting my life, and I don't need it. Besides all that, you're making things awkward between Zach and me."

Just the mention of Zach's name has my temper rising. "Don't label me disruptive because that dickhead doesn't want me here."

Erin frowns. "God, you could sound more understanding. And regardless of Zach, you are disrupting my life."

I swallow, almost ready to remind her of the feelings that brought us together—feelings neither of us could withstand. And no time lapse or distance can erase that, even though she now thinks me an inconvenience.

"You think I'm disrupting your life?" I tap my finger on the end of the fork, letting it hit the tabletop as I choose my words. "You're not the only one who was hurt, Erin. You think I haven't gone through shit."

She shrugs. "I wouldn't know now would I."

It took months before I could admit I might have lost her. I'd left her mum's house that day shattered. I didn't know how to deal with it, let alone accept it. Nor could I come to terms with what I'd done to her.

"I'm not interested in arguing over which one of us was hurt the most," she hisses, "or hearing some teary story when you've moved on with that model. Did you consider her feelings in this?"

I wave my hand at her ignorance. "You've got no idea what you're talking about. And Coco feels nothing because there's nothing between us... we're only friends."

Erin's eyes roll. "Don't treat me like an idiot. Of course something is going on between you two."

"Then you'd be wrong," I say, "Coco only likes females, and I only like you."

Her eyes widen in surprise. But it's the sudden ping of her phone that gets her attention.

I pull at the collar on my shirt, waiting for a response after putting my feelings out there. Instead, her chair grinds against the hard floor and she stands.

"I gotta go."

I look up at her. "So soon?"

"I told you I wasn't staying." She pushes her chair under the table, not making eye contact as she takes a step back.

"Well, at least take my card. You know, in case—well, you know." I grab a card from my wallet and offer it to her. "Call or message me anytime."

Erin ignores the card and looks me in the eyes. "If I meant so much to you, Ashley, why am I only seeing you now?"

With the card between my fingers, I say, "I stayed away because that's what you wanted, that's what your mother told me you needed. Not because I wanted to; believe me, staying away was the hardest thing I've ever done."

She takes the card. "If I feel the need to talk," she taps the card against her finger, "I have your number; if not, well, please respect my decision."