No matter where you're from, no matter where we're going
You're always encircling around me and you'll even flutter your eyes at me
Along the road there will be bends but please don't be anxious
Because if you love me, no matter what you think about, you won't have to worry about a thing.
Please look at me, don't hide away from love
Oh I always remember your beauty
Love comes stealthily, without time for a warning
Love is now in progress, getting ready to set out
Your insomnia became worse. Nearly every night, I heard you tossing and turning in your bed and even when there's silence, I knew that you were not sleeping, but rather staring up at the pale ceiling of out dorm. Your health was suffering as well due to drastic weight loss.
It was inevitable- you had to leave. Your desire to stay with your remaining 10 brothers, was not worth your life- for surely your body will gradually succumb to the stress and sickness brought on by an idol's life. I wasn't surprised when our manager reported to us one evening that you were planning to file a lawsuit against the company in a bid to exterminated your contract, if an agreement wasn't reached on the terms of the contract. Shock was etched upon the faces of the other nine members, as they chattered urgently to each other before turning their attention to Suho and me, the leader and the eldest of the group, in search of a plan of action. Honestly, both my mind and heart were empty, devoid of any emotion or thoughts. Only one thing mattered- You were truly going to leave me.
But I wasn't angry, or mad, or shocked. I was numb. And as the days dragged on into weeks, my mind remained numb. Everything was just a blur. Colours, images, people, sounds all flitted through my mind but none of them registered, not until I saw you again, for you had disappeared ever since the day before we were informed of your disagreement with the company
I missed you so goddamn much. I had never felt so lonely than in that three weeks during your absence. But it was also during those three weeks, that I realized my other 9 brothers were suffering as much as I, yet they still had enough space in their heart to comfort me, their elder brother who should be the one protecting them. I guess I was hopeless at hiding my emotions because more often than not, a gentle hand would rest on my shoulder, or a warm pair of arms would wound their way around my waist and in Chanyeol's case, a hand would pat my head, all signs of comfort which I needed and sought, much to my embarrassment, from my fellow members. These small gestures eased the pain of loneliness greatly, but a part of my life was still missing.
Finally, less than a month away from our concert and nearly four weeks since the disagreement, you returned. Although looking much healthier than when you left, dark bags still haunted your pained eyes, which were framed by sharp pale cheekbones. All the members rushed to you, all shock, anger and sadness gone, and embraced you like the the waves of the ocean embracing the shore, because that what you were- solid stable ground which calmed the agitated ocean. Celebration came first. We literally had a feast with Kai ordering 15 servings of chicken, Chanyeol ordering 8 large pizzas and 3 packs of 6 pack coke as well as garlic bread, cups of ramen, kimchi and we even set up our own Korean barbecue. I know. We were all going to be swollen with junk food by the end if tonight, but I couldn't bring myself to ruin the mood, especially when everybody, including you, were smiling so sincerely and brightly for the first time in a long time.
" Luhannie, You're finally back!"
"Yeah hyung, we missed you so much."
"Our little deer is home!"
