heart2heart | Ninjago Bruise

Hey. What's up?

God, this is so stupid. What do you even write in these things? Hey my life is a mess so here I am writing in a book. I sound pathetic. Zane said it would help though. Not that I need help anyway. I'm fine. All is good.

Speaking of Zane though, I've been spending more time with him recently. He's great. I mean, not that we weren't close beforehand because we obviously were but we never spent that much alone time together. He's much more serious and clueless but he's easy to talk to and really understanding. And besides, he doesn't really treat me like I'm this broken mess that Kai seems to think I am.

Which is super stupid because I'm not broken nor am I a mess. I'm completely fine.

Hmm what else do I write in here??

Uhhhh I guess the battle against Morro went well if you care about that. We defeated him. Nya killed that stupidly ugly Preeminent (or however you spell it) with her true potential!! Which was so awesome. I'm glad she's becoming one with her powers. I haven't spoken to her much recently. Not since well y'know. The future reflection stuff. But who cares about that???

Lloyd has been working with Wu to regain his energy after being possessed by Morro. Misako is helping too but she's been working on exploring a lot. I don't blame her. I'd wanna get out of this place a lot too. Nya's been working more on harnessing her powers. Kai and. Uhm. yknow who. Has been helping to shut up Wu's tea shop. Turns out opening a tea shop and being attacked by this ghost guy and his army doesn't give you a good look. Oh and Ronin didn't care for the shop anymore either so he just straight up left. Typical. That just left me and Zane doing absolutely nothing all day.

He's good company. To be honest, Zane and I were always close to begin with but with the more people that joined the team, the more our friendship kinda drifted. He began hanging out with Kai more and well. I had other priorities. Neither of which are a priority any more. Am I just not great at keeping up with things?? First I lost Nya and then I lost Cole haha.

Idk why I just wrote out a laugh. Cringe.

Anyway.

I'll probably lose Zane soon too.

Jesus Christ Jay did you really have to write that????? Wtf

I'm talking to myself now. Ok.

I know Zane told me this was for 'writing out my feelings' so that I wouldn't feel so bad (which i DON'T feel bad by the way, i am completely fine, but Zane does this thing where he pretends he has this feature where he can read minds or feelings or whatever and thinks i'm really sad because of the break up but i'm literally literally fine. He's worried for nothing)

But i meeeeaan since i've brought it up now........

The breakup was a few weeks ago now. It was awkward at first. Still is awkward. Not much to report.

I guess I just felt a bit shit for a while. I kinda still do. I didn't realise how close Cole and I were until things ended. I get why he wanted to end things. He felt awful about being a ghost and not being able to be a good boyfriend or whatever and no matter how hard I tried to convince him it didn't matter and that I was okay and we were figuring things out and that I literally didn't care about holding hands or kissing or all the physical stuff, I still loved him. I still do. He just didn't really seem to care.

Sorry, wrong choice of words. He DID care. I know he did. Idk if he still does. I haven't spoken to him. Tbh I've barely seen him around which is crazy because we literally live together.