Effortless

Fifty-two

Ricky's face softened at the confession. "Eli, don't worry about them."

"If it were that easy then I wouldn't." I stated. "I never used to care but I do right now. I did all of this to get here and now I don't even want to give the speech."

I hated this feeling. I never cared before what people I didn't know thought about me, or at least that's what I told myself. I told myself so many times that it didn't bother me, but now I think it always did. I had only convinced myself that I did not.

Now that I had to give a speech in front of all of them, plus a bunch of parents and family, I felt overwhelmed. I didn't want to feel all of their eyes on me as they listened to me talk about our high school experience. I never liked giving speeches in the first place and now there was even more pressure to make it great.

My eyes fell to the floor as I slumped in the chair with defeat. I was about to say forget it and call that enough working for one day, but Ricky snapped his fingers in my face. I was caught off guard by his sudden aggressiveness, but he didn't leave me room to talk.

"That's too bad because you're giving the speech whether you like it or not." He said sternly. "I get being a little nervous, but don't let the reason you're nervous and stressed be because of those random kids in our class."

"I just want it to be perfect so that they don't have room to say shit." I mumbled.

"You're literally our salutatorian. You had the second highest grade point average out of our entire class, that's why you get to give the opening speech. Do any of them get to say that? No, they don't have room to say shit, whether your speech is perfect or not." He preached. "So what if they don't like you? You're not going to see most of their faces again after this. Trust yourself, trust your speech, because I'm telling you it's great so far."

He stared me down until he could see me starting to agree with him. "No, you're right."

"Yeah, I know I'm right. And if I hear anyone say anything bad about you then I'll tell them off right there in front of everyone. They'll have to pause the ceremony because I'll have caused a scene." Ricky said unapologetically.

"This is why you're my best friend." I smiled.

"Because I'll curse people out for you?"

I laughed. "Because you always have my back no matter what. Thanks."

"Anytime, man." Ricky picked up the pencil and put it in his mouth again. "Now read me the rest of this award-winning speech."

-

Wearing the cap and gown felt like we were playing dress up. It felt entirely fake and surreal, like there was no way it was truly the day of graduation. We had completed high school and were about to walk across the stage and receive our diplomas.

We walked out to the crowd in a line in our ranked order. Seeing how many people were in the crowd did not help my looming anxiety. I knew there would be a lot of people, but damn, all of the bleachers were maxed out. Graduation was held outside on the football field.

It took a while for everyone to get situated. Javi and I, as well as some of the class officers, got to sit on the stage for the beginning of the ceremony. Once I gave my speech they would have us go sit with the rest of the class to start handing out diplomas. Then at the end we would go back into the stage for Javier's closing speech.

I didn't know what to do with my hands as I sat with anticipation. I wanted to get my speech over with so that the attention could be taken off of me. They let me keep my notecards with me while I gave the speech, but I had rehearsed so much that it was burned into my brain so I did not need them. I still kept them just in case.