If Only You Knew

--Harry--

"Good afternoon students!" Professor Slughorn said cheerfully. Faint murmurs of hello echoed across the cold stone walls. Potions was usually rather boring, despite the room consisting of Gryffindors and Slytherins, eighth and seventh years alike to fill the class.

Harry was still absorbed in his thoughts, sitting at a table with Ron and Hermione. He tried to refrain from looking at Draco, but it was no use. He glanced over and noticed him writing in a small book, though his quill was moving much too often compared to what Slughorn was saying. Harry wondered briefly what he could be writing when his attention was brought back to the front.

"Today we will be brewing something very special!" He exclaimed, holding up a small vial of deep blue liquid. "The Iunctus Simulus, or Connection potion, is designed to simulate a bond between two people who previously may not have had such a connection. You may find yourself doing favors for the other that you wouldn't have considered otherwise, or perhaps acting particularly kinder towards someone you hadn't noticed before."

"This potion is particularly effective when made by those who aren't already happily acquainted. And since you are all currently seated with your friends or housemates, I will be rearranging you so that you may sit with a member of the opposite house."

The class was less than thrilled, eyeing each other suspiciously. Books were gathered into bags as they waited for further instruction. Harry zoned out again until Slughorn reached their table.

"Let's see here...Miss Granger you'll go with Miss Parkinson...Mr. Weasley why don't you go by Mr. Zabini...yes yes go on...Ah and Mr. Potter, my old Prodigy." Slughorn's eye twinkled and Harry's face reddened, remembering just how he became the top of the class two years prior.

"Please go join Mr. Malfoy at his table." Harry wasn't sure if he should feel grateful or nervous. On the one hand, he hadn't been paired with someone random who might bring up his history as "The Chosen One". On the other hand, he was paired with Malfoy, who may very well become cross and bring up his history anyways.

If Draco noticed Harry sitting next to him, he made no effort to show it. He shut the book he was writing in, brought his textbook closer, and began reading. Harry fidgeted with his fingers until a soft voice startled him.

"Are you just going to sit there Potter, or are you going to help me with our project?"

Harry flushed and seized his own book, scanning until he found the right page.

"Go grab the ingredients. I'll do the rest," Draco ordered, before adding on, "I'm not having you ruin my marks."

Harry sighed and went to grab the ingredients. When he returned Draco already had the cauldron bubbling gently. He began mincing and stirring, setting a blue dahlia down in front of Harry.

"Crush this."

"Okay." Harry began and they continued in silence except for Draco's tense corrections and instruction until their potion was the perfect shade. Meanwhile Professor Slughorn was making his way around the room until reaching their table.

"Ah Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy! Wondrous work, your potion is absolutely lovely. Ten points to both Gryffindor and Slytherin." Harry smiled at the teacher and for a second, he thought he saw the slightest of smirks on Malfoy's face. I haven't seen him really smile since fifth year. Harry was surprised to find himself missing that smirk. Even if he usually only saw it when he was being made fun of, it was better than the cold and empty expression he saw lately.

"Your attention everyone if I may have it," Slughorn called as the class was cleaning up their tables.

"Now that I have marked your potions we shall get on to the second part of your assignment" Slughorn waved his wand and small bottles of the same potion began floating across the room until one was placed gently in front of each pair.

"To understand the true nature of this concoction, you each will take a sip of the bottle in front of you. Now, these have been altered so that the effects will only last a week, a much smaller time frame than the usual recipe. Over the course of the week you shall be recording your findings as homework. Now for it to work you must be looking deeply at the other person, which I'm sure you are all capable of."

The class did not seem so sure of this. Hermione seemed fine with it, though Ron's face seemed to contort in some display of horror. Harry looked back to his own table, where Draco was eyeing the bottle with an unreadable expression.

Harry took a deep breath, "would you like to go first?"

"By all means, go ahead Potter," Draco muttered.

Harry opened the bottle and sniffed it carefully. It smelled like wildflowers and rain, sweet but quite calming. He braced himself and looked up at Draco, and took a drink. Merlin his eyes really are like silver. They reminded him of storm clouds and appeared to twist in the dim dungeon light.

"Have you had your fill?" Draco scoffed.

Harry realized he'd been gazing into Draco's eyes a little longer than he'd needed to. "Sorry," he said sheepishly, handing over the vial.

Draco took it from him and downed it quickly. His eyes felt like they were piercing Harry's. And for a second they looked like they almost softened. But the moment passed, and he was gone again. Back to his mind, staring down at the table. Harry wasn't feeling any different than he had ten minutes ago, which he noted to Draco.

"Congratulations Potter, it seems you've found the one person that won't bow to you even by magical means."

"That's not what- look, do you feel anything?"

Draco said, much softer than before, "nothing at all."

Harry felt there was something more to that statement, but decided not to push anything. He had pushed Draco enough already. He suddenly recalled his secondary assignment from Hermione. As well as the way Draco was writing earlier.

Harry hadn't felt this lucky since taking Felix Felicis in the sixth year. How on earth did I catch that? At that same moment, Slughorn dismissed them and Harry tore out of the classroom, not even bothering to inform his friends of his plans.

The Owlery was peaceful, despite birds coming in and out, hooting to each other. Harry was so busy rushing up there that he hadn't considered what it was he was going to say in his letter to Draco. His decision to even write him in the first place was also a tricky one. On the one hand, the odd silence of their room was killing Harry. He'd never thought he'd say it, but a loud, sneering Draco was preferred to a hollow, quiet one. But on the other hand... He shook his head and began writing.

Draco - I realize we've never been the best of friends, but going about my day as though you don't exist isn't working for me. I forgive you for the war. I understand you did things you didn't want to do. The things you did before that are what bother me. I've done things to you as well that I'm not proud of. But I'm realizing you aren't that person anymore. I'm not the person I was either. Or the person you seem to think I am. I'm more than fine if you don't want to be friends. But please, stop pretending I don't exist.

If only you knew how sorry I am. -H