Haven't Seen The Light In A While

Melody

The early morning light of Christmas Day filled the Alpha's bedroom with a soft glow, illuminating the dust particles that danced lazily in the air. It was hard to believe that it had been so many years since I had truly experienced Christmas—since I was just a child. Back then, the day was filled with my parents' laughter, the aroma of gingerbread cookies, and the thrill of unwrapping presents. But now, the holiday felt like a distant memory, leaving me with a hollow expectation.

As I sat on the edge of the now-empty bed, a knot of anxiety tightened in my stomach. My mind raced with thoughts of the gifts my mates had bought or made for me—thoughtful gestures that would undoubtedly come with smiles and warm embraces. Yet, realizing that I had completely forgotten about the tradition of giving gifts gnawed at me. I hadn't prepared anything for them, and the guilt settled heavily on my shoulders—the idea of receiving without being able to reciprocate felt unbearable.

Feeling overwhelmed, I decided to escape the suffocating atmosphere of the pack house. I slipped on my hoodie and shoes and stepped outside, the crisp winter air hitting my face. I began to jog, my feet pounding against the frost-kissed ground, trying to drown out the waves of anxiety that crashed over me.

This winter proved unusually arid, marked only by a light frost that dusted the earth in the early mornings. It struck me as peculiar that no snowflake had graced the ground, a stark contrast to the winters I remembered.

In the past, while I was trapped in the cramped, dimly lit basement, the world outside would undergo a symphony of weather changes. Snow, rain, and the vibrant hues of autumn leaves would drift through the barred window, creating a tapestry of shifting seasons that I could only observe from my confinement.

I pushed through the threshold that marked the forest's edge, feeling the crunch of dry leaves beneath my feet. I gazed at the towering trees, their skeletal branches stretching toward the gray sky. Most trees stood lifeless, their bark cracked and gray, stark reminders of the harsh, cold winter. Only the resilient pine trees remained vibrant among the decay, their green needles contrasting sharply with the barren landscape around them as if defiantly holding onto life amidst the desolation.

I had this intense feeling of being out of place, and Dr. Kane reassured me that it was entirely normal for someone who has gone through the kind of trauma I experienced. He emphasized that my loneliness wasn't unusual, even when loved ones surrounded me. During our sessions, he encouraged me to articulate what that sensation felt like, as he believed getting to the root of it was necessary.

I explained to him at times, it felt like I existed in a space where I wasn't seen despite appearing fully engaged in whatever I was doing with others.

I had learned to keep my inner thoughts to myself, and Dr. Kane wisely advised me to share only when I felt ready rather than by accident through mind linking. We even spent an entire session experimenting with reading each other's thoughts while taking turns blocking.

A sense of stillness enveloped me as I entered the small clearing. The pond at the center glimmered under the pale light of the overcast sky, its surface completely frozen, resembling a sheet of glass. Although snow had not graced the ground, a biting chill permeated the air, wrapping around me like a thick blanket. I stood there momentarily, inhaling the crisp, cold winter air, which filled my lungs with a refreshing, sharp clarity. My gaze was fixed on the frozen expanse of the pond, its icy surface reflecting the muted colors of winter. Suddenly, the quiet of the clearing was shattered by the unmistakable crack of a twig snapping behind me, jolting me from my reverie and sending a rush of adrenaline through my veins.

"Ugh, it's you," she said, her voice ringing as I rolled my eyes, still facing the pond.

"That's my line." I crossed my arms, refusing to look at Katrina.

"You think you're so funny and tough, don't you? Just because the Alpha chose you as his Luna?"

"I am tough and funny, but Sam didn't choose me. The moon goddess did. He is my mate, and I've fallen in love with him." I finally turned to look at her. She was wrapped in a blanket, and her purple hair was in a ponytail.

"Hmpf, it must be nice to be in love! I can't even do that because you took Vince from me." I sighed loudly and heavily at her accusation.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't make the rules; the moon goddess does. I love Vince, and he loves me."

"Fucking bullshit! You're playing him, and he's going along for some reason! You better watch your back, Melody! I'll come for you when I get my chance." She pivoted on her feet and stomped back the way she came.

"What a drama queen," a voice remarked, slicing through the tension in the air beside me. The unexpected sound made my heart leap in my chest, and I instinctively jumped to the side, my hand flying to my heart as if to steady its frantic rhythm. The sudden movement caught me off guard, and I felt a rush of adrenaline course through my veins as I turned to see who had spoken.

"You scared the shit out of me. Holy shit!" I looked up from my crouched position and saw Vince looking concerned.

"I didn't mean to startle you," Vince said, warm and apologetic. "I thought you heard me approaching." He offered his hand, a gesture of support, as I was crouched on the ground. I grasped it and felt the firm grip, the reassurance in his touch. "So, what brings you out here all alone?" he asked, curiosity sparking in his eyes as he pulled me to my feet.

"I was freaking out a bit and needed to get out of the pack house." I got up, grabbing his hand.

"Why? What's wrong?" he asked, his voice filled with concern as he pulled me closer, enveloping me in his warm embrace. The moment our bodies met, I felt a wave of comfort wash over me, and I instinctively melted against him, savoring the connection that provided solace.

"This is my first Christmas since... you know. I don't have any gifts for anyone, and I feel guilty." I rested my head on his ample chest, hearing his heartbeat.

"Mel, you have nothing to feel guilty about. We don't care if you didn't get us anything. Let us spoil our baby." He leaned down and pressed his lips gently against the crown of my head, the unexpected tenderness sending a delightful warmth coursing through me. As his kiss lingered for a moment, I felt a radiant smile bloom on my face, the kind that comes effortlessly when you feel someone truly cares for you.

"I love you, Vince."

"I love you too, Mel."