Choosing differently

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Over the past couple of days, Doona stayed confined to her room on the island. The isolation weighed heavily on her, but she wasn't entirely alone. Some of the other guards, particularly the square guards—the most trusted among them—also remained on the island. These square guards were already engrossed in preparations for the next year's games. They moved with a quiet, determined efficiency, painting and refurbishing the rooms with meticulous care. Each brushstroke seemed to carry a sense of foreboding, as if the walls themselves were being infused with the grim anticipation of the future events. Doona had nowhere else to go. If she dared to return to see Jun Ho, he would bombard her with relentless questions. The memory of Jun Ho's body plummeting off the cliff was a haunting specter she couldn't escape. Every time her eyes caught a glimpse of blue, she was transported back to the moment he fell into the water. The betrayal etched in his eyes haunted her relentlessly, a ghost that refused to be laid to rest.

She sat in her room, the days blending into a blur since that fateful moment. She had even threatened to quit, but the decision gnawed at her. Her mind raced with conflicting thoughts: "Should I have quit?" "No, this is for the better." These two opposing ideas waged a relentless war in her head, refusing to grant her any peace. Let alone every time she even walked by the game rooms, she couldn't help but think of Gi Hun. The fact that he had been in the games without her knowing gnawed at her. She had entered the game room, her eyes scanning every corner, but she hadn't even seen him. She felt a profound sense of stupidity and guilt. What if he hadn't won? What if it was his body in that coffin instead of Sang Woo's?

The mere thought Sang Woos lifeless body filled her with a deep, nauseating dread. Every time the image flashed in her mind, she felt like throwing up. The sensation was overwhelming, a physical manifestation of her emotional turmoil. She was trapped in a relentless cycle of regret and sorrow, unable to escape the haunting visions that plagued her.

These days, her thoughts were consumed by three names: Jun Ho, Gi Hun, and Sang Woo. Jun Ho's betrayal, Gi Hun's uncertain fate, and Sang Woo's tragic end. She replayed the events over and over, questioning every decision, every action. She should have saved him, she thought. She should have done something, anything, to change the outcome. She sits up in her bed, debating whether to turn on her phone, which she had turned off to avoid being tracked. The urge to text Gi Hun gnawed at her. She couldn't stop thinking about what he must be going through because of the games. And then there was Jun Ho. What if he had been seriously injured from the fall? The weight of guilt for everyone pressed heavily on her shoulders as she stood up and looked into the mirror. How could she still stand on this island, burdened by so much pain and regret?

Her eyes drifted over to the open closet where the guns were stored. She reached for the pistol, the cold metal feeling heavy in her hand. She had taken more lives with the sniper rifle than with this gun, but the number was still too many. She stared at her reflection, seeing a stranger looking back at her. Her long black hair, once a symbol of her old self, was now cut to her shoulders. Her expression was blank, a stark contrast to the vibrant girl she used to be.

The memories of the lives she had taken flooded her mind. The blood, the screams, the desperate begging for mercy. Sang Woo's lifeless body in the coffin haunted her thoughts. She clenched the gun tightly in her hand, the metal biting into her palm. The reflection in the mirror showed a person she no longer recognized, someone hardened by the horrors she had witnessed and the actions she had taken. She felt a deep sense of loss, not just for the lives she had ended, but for the person she used to be. Did she really deserve to live after all the suffering she had caused? The question echoed in her mind, a relentless torment that refused to be silenced. She felt just as monstrous as In Ho, perhaps even worse. The cold metal of the gun pressed against her temple, a stark reminder of the power she wielded and the destruction she had wrought. She stared into the mirror, her eyes hollow and void of the light they once held.