I need to find someplace else

I slept next to my best friend on her birthday night,she was throwing a sleepover.. my bestest friends were here; Terri, Ashely...let it be enough Paige don't make this a big deal!

I'm asleep okay? I'm asleep, there's nothing to worry about I'm with Hazel and her parents are in the next room.. what if Mr Aden isn't the way he seems to be? What if he's waiting outside for everyone else to go to sleep before he gets to me? STOP IT PAIGE.. don't think like that!

Paige actually falls asleep now

There's something huge pressing down on my chest,my eyes keep blinking open but I know I'm asleep. Where am I?
Is this what happens when girls get raped? They get sent to some freakoid part of the earth to witness and observe the world for all its gunk and horror?
I'm a terrible friend. This is Hazel's birthday and I'm shaking next to her with my arms against my chest like a sailor..just stop it Paige,listen to me stop it!

The pressure is pushing down on me,I don't want this is I don't want this I don't want this!

Let me normal again please God or anything out there that's deciding what happens to me please..

I'm asleep I know I'm asleep..but I need to go!

I can't get up, nothing's letting me move..oh please no not again..

stop stop stop stop make it stop

"STOPPPPPP" I rebelled against what I knew I couldn't control any longer,Dean..

*it's the morning and all the other girls are heard to be outside..but one comes running in*

"Paige?" Ellie called.

Paige gave her the nastiest look to top all nasty looks, she's just like Ellie now..a freak who's seen too much darkness to ever be a normal girl.

"This is too dark for me Ellie!" Paige rejected her fate and Ellie found this to be a bit incoherent..

"Do you want me to turn on the lights?" Ellie asked idly,and totally confused.

Something about Ellie seemingly missing the undertones made Paige get up out her bed and march towards her..

"No Ellie,it's too dark!"* She turned the lights off and ran past her and down the stairs,out the house ignoring the calls of the other girls..

"I have to go" Paige soothed herself as she walked,she didn't know where..she needed someplace else,she repeated the phrase maybe something about finding someplace else..where she could make sense of this in a way that didn't haunt her and the person she was before..who she missed so much.