A LISTLESS JOURNAL

February 4, 2025

It's insufferable. Is it even possible for human kind to stay at peace and be aware of world at the same time? I can't believe I'm rebounded to same old issues of mine ever since I've gained full blown consciousness. How many time do I have to remind myself that other people's idiocy isn't treatable by my own over thinking. Sometimes I wanna smack them on head to bring them out of delusion.

Day by day, I'm becoming a man hater, not because I want to but they're giving me enough reasons to feel the disgust. Sometimes I feel like doing a back flip from 18th floor just so I don't have to deal with them icky men. The bar of standard has been set to hell. So low.. how the hell, just how?? Man is supposed to be god's best creation? Like for real? Ain't no way ! Sometimes I get so frustrated that I wanna grab one of them man by shoulder, shake them and ask while crying if they're just acting to be dense and pathetic or it's just they didn't get enough hugs as kids ?? I swear, a few month into this societal bullshit as an adult...and my brain will be gone for good :')

Miserable stays miserable irrespective of situations and surroundings unless and until they're being manipulated by some unnatural means. Lol.

It's never enough. I never have enough time or will power to be the person I want or do the things that I want to. It causes agony and pricks my subconscious 24/7 like a sticky thorn of gum Arabic tree. There's no escape between the person I am versus the person I wanna be. Like most of the grown up had once said... I indeed am a hopeless case.

- until we meet again.