Text me, Maybe? [ZARRY]

Harry is having the time of his life.

Zayn, on the other hand, looks like he wants to crawl into a hole and never come out.

Because the internet has officially lost its mind.

There are memes, fan theories, TikTok essays on why Zayn is Harry's soulmate, and possibly the worst offense of all,

"There's a fandom war over what they should call us," Harry announces gleefully, scrolling through his phone like it's the best thing he's ever seen. "Zarry is leading, but there's also MalStyles, Hazayn, and...oh my god...StarBak."

Zayn, who's been sitting in numb silence, staring blankly into his tea, finally reacts.

"StarBak?"

Harry barely manages to suppress a giggle. "Because you worked at a café. And I'm a star."

Zayn rubs his face in agony. "I hate it."

Harry throws an arm around him, pulling him in with a ridiculous amount of affection. "I love it."

Zayn groans. "Why are you like this?"

"Born this way, baby," Harry says, blowing him a very unnecessary kiss.

Zayn stares at him like he's reevaluating all of his life choices.

And just as Harry is about to push him even further into misery,

His phone rings.

Jeff.

Harry lights up as he stares at the screen, then answers with obnoxious cheerfulness.

"Morning, Jeffrey!"

Jeff sounds exactly three seconds away from a full cardiac event.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?"

Harry swings his legs onto Zayn's lap, grinning. "Started a media frenzy? Made the world a little brighter? Brought love and joy into people's lives?"

"YOU MAKE ME WANT TO QUIT THIS JOB," Jeff yells.

Zayn chokes on his tea.

Harry snorts. "Oh, come on. Why can't I show off my boyfriend?"

Jeff makes an actual dying noise.

Zayn pushes Harry's legs off him like he can't handle another second of this insanity. "I'm leaving."

"No, stay, this is fun," Harry insists, grabbing Zayn's wrist dramatically.

Jeff, bless him, completely ignores them both.

"Harry, we need to talk about damage control. This is insane. There are people camped outside that guy's workplace. His whole life is under a microscope. The fans found his old DeviantArt, for God's sake!"

Harry perks up. "Wait. You had a DeviantArt?"

Zayn stands up immediately. "I'm moving to a remote island."

Jeff groans. "Harry, please. We need a plan."

Harry sighs dramatically, flopping back on the couch. "Fine. What do you suggest?"

There's a pause on the other end, like Jeff is bracing himself for whatever chaos comes next.

"We could... lean into it. Make it official. He's your boyfriend, just admit it to the world. It's your private business, they should respect it."

Zayn, halfway to the door, whirls around.

Harry beams.

"Well, well, well," he purrs. "Jeffrey, you're finally speaking my language."