The red strings of fate

Unearthed Feelings

The days that followed the quiet kiss in the garden were a whirlwind for Chuuya. He wasn't sure what he was feeling—confusion, excitement, embarrassment—but one thing was clear: everything was different now. Every interaction with Dazai felt tinged with something new. Something uncertain and uncharted, and for once, Chuuya didn't know how to navigate it.

It wasn't as if Dazai was treating him differently. The boy still had that usual teasing demeanor, still managed to poke at Chuuya's pride with his relentless questions and remarks. But something was off, something Chuuya couldn't quite place. Dazai seemed to be watching him more closely now, his dark eyes constantly assessing, reading him in a way no one else ever had.

Chuuya hated it.

Or at least, that's what he told himself.

The days dragged on, and Chuuya's internal conflict grew stronger. He found himself thinking about the kiss more than he should, replaying the soft touch of Dazai's lips against his, the way his pulse had raced in that moment. How could something so simple make him feel like his entire world had shifted? How could a single, innocent kiss leave him feeling like he was standing on the edge of something vast, unknown?

That was the problem. Chuuya had spent so long building walls around himself, keeping everyone out with his anger, his attitude, his sharp tongue. But Dazai... Dazai had cracked through it all so easily, with nothing but a smile and a few well-placed words.

It was driving him crazy.

"Chuuya."

The soft voice broke through his spiraling thoughts, pulling him back to reality. He blinked and looked up, finding Dazai standing just a few steps away, his hands casually tucked into the pockets of his long black coat.

Chuuya tried to mask his unease, his heart still a little too frantic for his liking. "What do you want, Dazai?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to go for a walk with me," Dazai said, his tone light, as if the offer were nothing more than a casual suggestion. But there was something in the way he said it, something that made Chuuya pause.

"A walk?" Chuuya's voice came out a little sharper than he intended. "Why?"

"Because you've been in here sulking for the last two days, and I think you need a change of scenery," Dazai replied, a playful smirk on his lips. "Besides, you seem like you've got a lot on your mind. I thought maybe you'd like to talk about it."

Chuuya stiffened, his mind racing. He didn't want to talk. About anything. Especially not with Dazai. But something in Dazai's eyes—something earnest and unspoken—made him hesitate.

"Fine," Chuuya muttered, though he wasn't sure if he was agreeing because he actually wanted to talk, or because he couldn't stand the way Dazai was looking at him. Either way, he stood up and brushed off the dust from his jeans. "Let's get this over with."

The walk was quiet at first, both of them strolling along the worn path through the orphanage's grounds. The sun had set, leaving behind a soft glow that painted the sky in shades of orange and pink. It was peaceful in a way, the kind of calm that made it hard to think about anything else.

They walked side by side, a few steps of distance between them, but Chuuya could feel the weight of Dazai's presence in a way that was hard to ignore. He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk or if he just wanted the silence to swallow him whole.

Eventually, Dazai spoke again, his voice softer this time, as if he were testing the waters.

"Chuuya," he began, his tone uncharacteristically serious, "are you okay?"

The question caught Chuuya off guard. He stopped walking for a moment, looking up at Dazai with wide eyes. "What do you mean, 'am I okay'?" he shot back, defensive. "I'm fine. I don't need you to babysit me."

Dazai didn't flinch. He simply took a step closer, his eyes locking with Chuuya's. "I don't think you're fine. I think you're... conflicted."

Chuuya opened his mouth to protest, but the words didn't come. He hadn't realized it, but Dazai had seen right through him. He felt exposed, vulnerable, and he hated it. But instead of retreating, he stood his ground, forcing himself to meet Dazai's gaze.

"What's it to you?" Chuuya finally muttered, his voice quieter now. He hated how much this conversation was making him unravel, but at the same time, there was a strange comfort in it. A comfort he wasn't used to.

Dazai stepped even closer, his voice lower. "Because I care, Chuuya."

The words hit Chuuya like a thunderclap. He blinked, his breath caught in his chest. "You... care?"

Dazai smiled gently, but there was something deeper in his eyes, something more earnest than Chuuya had ever seen before. "I do. I care about you, Chuuya. And I think you care about me too, but you're scared of it."

Chuuya's heart skipped a beat. He didn't know how to respond, how to process the words that Dazai had so casually tossed at him. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said, his voice shaking slightly despite his attempts to sound indifferent.

But Dazai didn't back down. He placed a hand lightly on Chuuya's shoulder, his touch soft but steady, and for a moment, Chuuya felt everything inside him still.

"Don't be afraid of how you feel," Dazai said, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's okay to want something more, Chuuya."

Before Chuuya could process any of it, before he could even think, Dazai leaned in, closing the small space between them. Chuuya's breath caught in his throat, and for a moment, everything around him seemed to fade away.

Then, with a softness that took Chuuya completely by surprise, Dazai pressed his lips to his.

It was nothing like the kiss in the garden. This one wasn't quick, wasn't rushed. It was slow, deliberate—a soft brush of warmth against warmth. It was the kind of kiss that left Chuuya's mind blank, his heart pounding erratically in his chest.

When Dazai pulled away, his thumb gently brushing the edge of Chuuya's jaw, he smiled again, a small, tender smile that made Chuuya's stomach flutter.

"You're not alone, Chuuya," Dazai whispered, his breath warm against Chuuya's cheek. "I'm here."

Chuuya stood frozen, his heart still racing in his chest. He didn't know what to say, didn't know what to feel. But one thing was for sure—his world had shifted again, and this time, he wasn't sure if he was ready to go back.