The Eternal - Part 1 - Awakening

Amar was right. The police exam was a breeze. And I found myself in the academy sooner than expected.
The trickiest thing about all this has been morphing into a consistent looking white dude when going to work. I just picked an anime character, and tried to bring that to life. And then I tried to make that guy look white instead of Japanese. And then I took a picture of that so I'd have a reference. Interestingly - I found that camera's pick up the illusion, and not what's underneath.
I tried turning that illusion on and off multiple times. I then took pictures each time - until I felt satisfied with the consistency. I mean, my phone seemed to think they were the same person, so that was a good sign.
Once I had the illusion down, I knew I was ready.
I quickly learned that I fucking hated the academy. School in general was never fun. Police school? Even more boring.
But, I've been LARP'ing as a big white guy so that was interesting at least. There's been like this subtle difference in how I'm treated. More than subtle at times.
And, although I didn't enjoy my time at the academy, it was still interesting to see the types of people joining. I normally try to be observant - but seeing as this was a mission and everything - I tried to be all the more observant.
All in all - by the end I think I had gotten a vague idea of the different groups of personalities by graduation. There were a bunch of people who really imagined they'd make a difference by joining the police force. And then a larger group of people who just wanted a good salary, and pension. And then larger still - people who likely would've been comfortable on either side of the law. I tried to avoid those people. But something tells me that Amar is going to want me to get cozier with them.
My relationship with Julia has started to get a bit strained. After telling her my plans - I found out that she was a big ACAB (all cops are bastards) person. So - me joining the academy did not go down well. Purple to the rescue though.
It's still definitely a bit weird, I didn't push too hard with purple - but I did get her to believe that I'm doing this for the right reasons. Her mindset now is 'ACAB except for Dante' essentially. Which, somewhere in the back of my mind, I probably also believe too.
As you can probably already tell - I'm not going to bore you with the monotony of the academy. Like most educative environments, it was, well, mostly boring, with a few weird incidences that made you wish you never left your house that day.
The real interesting stuff will be after I'm actually a cop anyway.
Me - a cop...this is going to be weird.
I will say that, I don't think that this graduating class would do much to improve the personality of the NYPD itself.
I've been reporting to Amar here and there, and he thinks otherwise.
I suppose we'll soon see who's right. Graduation is tomorrow.
A lot of bigwigs - the mayor, police commissioner (police chief), and the head of the PBA (police benevolent association) will be there. The PBA is the police union. Which apparently doles out "membership cards." I'm looking forward to my 'free' get out of traffic tickets card. I mean I don't have a car. But still. Pablo might like one too. Though - he probably has one already. Ah - legalized corruption. Definitely feels a bit different when you're the one who's going to benefit from it. Almost like your dick is getting bigger.
I realize that makes me sound like a bad person.
I can't help it. I still feel like getting out of traffic tickets would be cool. I mean - they pull over brown and black people a lot more right? So, it just evens the odds really...
I promise not to abuse my power though. Really.
Thankfully, Julia has a final tomorrow, so she won't be coming down to the graduation ceremony. It would be awkward for more than one reason if she had shown. Mostly because Dante Black wouldn't be there. And John Smith, big white guy, - creative I know - would be there in his stead.
So, noone I know will be coming to watch me graduate - save for Amar.
The only other person that could've came was Pablo. But, he wasn't enthused by me joining the academy either. I didn't have to use purple on him to make him not hate me though. He just bought my logic of "fixing it from the inside."
Good guy, Pablo. Loves and believes in me, even when I don't.
I honestly really don't believe in myself. For all the work I've been doing over the past six months - it's mostly felt useless.
Maybe I don't believe in this plan. On the surface, it doesn't make sense. It's almost like something's being hidden from me.
Amar's big plan is to have me give a rousing, speech. I'm the valedictorian, and so I 'get' to give a speech. Although it's a speech laced with purple, there seems to be little that'll come of it. It's relatively vanilla. Just barely some persuasion in there about being better people. It doesn't make it clear what that exactly means - I don't know how the crowd would react if I leave it up to them. I've never used purple like that before.
I'm just happy I'm doing the speech as John Smith. Thankfully, there's no way to trace this back to Dante Black. I had received new ID, and credentials from Amar. My address is essentially a PO Box.
On that front, I'm definitely safe.
It's all just unclear what this accomplishes and what Amar wants me to do after the speech.
The next morning, I eat breakfast, and then kiss Julia goodbye. We wish each other luck on our respective endeavors.
Did I mention that Julia lives with me now - like officially? She's given up her campus housing entirely.
I feel like this relationship has moved forward very quickly - but, I have little to base that off of. Maybe this is just normal.
And don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I love waking up next to her. And the sex. And the food.
I mean, I cook too - it's just a lot more fun doing it with someone else. I suppose that holds true for all the things on my list.
I get on the train. I've still been taking the train pretty consistently. Flying is great, but sometimes you just want that extra time to be in your head.
Or maybe I just like to people watch, I don't know. It's been less scary to do that, now that I'm a vampire. Even if I run the risk of catching the eye of a crazy person, I can always purple them down to pacifity.
And, I appear as a big guy now - being a big guy always helps. Though probably not as much as you'd expect.
I take my time looking around. It's the usual morning crowd. Off to work. Off to School. Doctors, nurses, teachers, finance people, tech people, everyone in between. NYC in a nutshell. And a beautiful girl off in the corner.
I can't see her that well, but I can tell she's beautiful. I pulse orange to see her more closely. Dark skin. Curly hair. Perfect features. And she's looking right at me.
I look away. I'm sure she can't really 'see' me. But, she can probably tell I was looking towards her. And, for longer than necessary. After a couple seconds, I can't help but chance another look. And now she's walking towards me. Fuck.
After the whole Isabella fiasco, I've been pretty loyal to Julia. So, I'm not really interested in this girl that's still walking towards me.
I try to be logical. She's probably just going to exit from a different door, or is trying to get to the next train car or something.
But, what if on the off chance she's not? I'm at a loss as to what I should say to her.
Also, isn't it weird that she caught me looking at her from across the train car? And to move on that?...yea okay - logically - this definitely isn't about me. I feel assured that I'm safe from the awkwardness of having to turn this girl down.
She stops right in front of me.
My eyes widen in surprise. We're both looking right in each other's eyes - and I notice something. She feels a bit off. I pulse orange and yellow.
It's Isabella.
She can clearly see it's me underneath this illusion as well. Though, from her face, she seems uncertain.
Maybe she's just uncertain as to what she wants to say.
"I see you Dante," she says. "You're strong, but I can still make you out under there."
I don't reply. I briefly consider amping up my illusion further, but I don't know if that would serve a purpose.
"I know you can see me too," she says. "You don't have to speak. I..I just wanted to say I'm sorry."
She pauses for a second, as if I'd reply.
She continues, "And I've heard what you've been doing. Working with Amar. Joining the police force. I'm sure you'll be a force for good. And for what it's worth, Samira has dropped her previous order about...well you know.
She's impressed with the fact that you're trying to affect change. And she doesn't want to stand in yours - or Amar's way. We're on the same side here."
She makes a hesitant gesture. As if she wants to grab my arm or something. I don't move. I'm not really angry anymore. It's been 6 months or so since I've seen her. And I'm still attracted to her. I can see her clearly underneath that illusion. And unfortunately, my heart still seems to have feelings for her. But I'm not ready to trust her. I don't know if I ever could. Her bond would have to be broken for me to believe any of this is real.
I'm sure she's not lying about Samira not wanting to stand in Amar's way though. They do have similar beliefs. And as far as I know, Amar is the stronger vampire. Samira herself probably takes orders from Amar. I'm pretty sure he's her council person. For a brief second I wonder if Amar was behind this thing with Isabella - but then I reassure myself that that doesn't make sense. It was clearly some weird thing between Samira and Adão that got me caught up in this.
"Well, we're heading in the same direction. I'll be at the graduation too," she says.
I'm surprised at that. Her keeping tabs on me made sense - that could've been Samira's doing too. But graduation? Why? Yet I'm oddly...glad?
"If you decide you want to talk to me - I'll be in the crowd. Come find me when it's done," she says.
And at this point, she does go to the next train car. And I let myself lose sight of her.
I hate how she can make me feel this way. My heart is on fire. I want to forgive her. I want to believe her. Even though the logical part of my brain knows this is likely another trick. And that she can't be trusted. It's almost like, I feel like all of that doesn't matter. But I know that it does.
I take a deep breath.
I need to focus on my speech. This'll sound weird but, I have this thing where I'm usually too relaxed. So as a consequence, I just don't take things seriously enough.
I haven't ever really had stage fright. In fact - I actually seem to enjoy giving speeches.
But, having low anxiety comes with a drawback.
So, because I need to get myself to take this seriously - I try to psych myself up a bit.
It's difficult. And, ultimately, mostly pointless.
I mean, I'm just going to be reading from this piece of paper. I don't even have to have it memorized. So who even really cares right?
I read the words. Amar wrote them. Well - I initially wrote them, but he took a lot of liberties. And we essentially ended up with a new speech entirely. I'm assuming that's also a part of his plan though. Why else bother changing it? There's even purple text for when I have to add in some persuasion.
I've actually read this a few times - but I still don't really know the complete extent of his plan. Partly because this speech is too vanilla. But the other part being that the plan has just been doled out piece by piece.
I'm not sure what the value of keeping it a secret at this point in time is. But, I suppose I don't mind a good surprise. I just hope the surprise isn't that even Amar doesn't know what the hell he's doing.
Soon enough, the train gets to my stop. And as I get off, I try not to look at the crowd - I don't want to spot Isabella again.
It's possible that I'm safe from having to see her, and she might've actually adopted a completely new guise. But that's unlikely. What would be the point? And, besides, it would be weird to morph on a crowded train.
I get to the graduation hall, and we get ushered into our seats. I sit in the front, and I have my speech in hand.
There are guests who are being ushered to their seats as well. Some of them pass by in front of us.
Amar is among them. I catch his eye, and he walks to me. I stand up, and we shake hands. He pats me on the back. "Congratulations, son," he says.
"Thank you," I reply.
Oh yea, Amar is LARPing as my father. He looks like an old pretty unassuming white guy now.
As he pulls away, I open my hand. He's left me with a piece of paper. I sit down and open it.
It seems to be a speech. "Read this instead." It says at the top.
I feel like he could've gave me this in advance. Why the secret handshake and everything? I shake my head and fold it back up.
The ceremony is beginning. The mayor, the police commissioner, and the head of the PBA all give speeches.
They aren't bad, as speeches go I guess. I still mostly zoned out though.
I get called up to give my speech next. And I snap back to reality and make my way up the stage.
I briefly consider reading my speech over what Amar gave me.
I don't do that of course. It's just one of those intrusive thoughts.
I start reading Amar's speech.
"Thank you, Mayor, Police Commissioner and PBA head. I am honored to be valedictorian of this graduating class. It has been a grueling 6 months, but even moreso a grueling life in order to get here."
There were some chuckles at that. Good sign.
"Before I begin the rest of my speech," I see that there's purple text next, so I pulse purple, "I would like you to reserve judgement until I finish."
The rest of the text is purple. Well, I keep it going and continue, "I've always wanted to be a police officer. Ever since I was young. I wasn't born with much. But I was born with a strong body. And with that body, I resolved to take down bullies. Because that's what police officers should do. Right? Take down bullies. Bullies. And criminals. Those who take advantage of the weak."
"When I was young, I would take down the bullies in the playground. I would defend those who could not defend themselves. And I want to bring that way of thinking to the police force."
"Who are the weakest among us? The most vulnerable? The ones who need the most help?"
I pause, "Protect and serve." I pause again, "Those are heavy words. What do we protect and serve? Is it property? Some people may think that. But I disagree."
"We protect people."
I raise my voice, "And of those people, who do we need to protect the most? is it the finance dudes netting north of half a million a year?"
"Some people think so. They think money buys more influence. And so those with money, deserve extra protections and considerations from the law."
"I disagree." I expect a lot of groans or anger at this - but it seems purple is holding. And I am not yet going to be crucified.
"Is it the suburban housewives calling us, when they see an unfamiliar car? Or an unfamiliar person? An unfamiliar brown or black person?
I think not.
We defend people. And who needs defending? Those without the ability to defend themselves.
We don't defend them though.
We act as agents to hurt them.
We go after the people who can't defend themselves.
The people barely making ends meet. We jail them and harass them. The crappier car on the road - we pull that car over.
The ones hopping turnstiles, because they really can't afford the money for the train. We jail and fine them.
Those living in dangerous neighborhoods, so they carry knives. We fleece them, and charge them for having the means to defend themselves
In this country, we have the right to bear arms. But apparently, only if you belong to the majority. It's too scary if you're brown or black.
But that's not our purpose is it? We don't exist to protect the majority do we? I mean, the majority can defend themselves.
We need to defend those who need our help.
Instead, we think that we can abuse our power. We can beat and kill with impunity. We can become the bullies. Simply because we're allowed to have power - real power - over civilians. And don't get me wrong, this does include white people. But much more-so, it means black or brown people.
Yes there are bullies. And many of those bullies are on this stage today."
Here I see dark purple text in large lettering. So I pulse as hard as I can.
"And I, alongside everyone on this room will do our best to make sure we work towards justice. And we will be the change that will stop police abuse of power and authority. Because, if it doesn't begin with us - then where does it begin?
Thank you."
Surprisingly, the room claps as I finish. And I'm then directed to receive my diploma. I reach my seat in one piece, alive and healthy. It was a rather simplistic speech in the end. I don't think the police is going to get fixed with that. The rot goes much deeper than Amar wrote about.
Still - there seems to be a difference in the crowd though. The room feels kinder somehow...and maybe determined.
The rest of the ceremony finishes quickly.
At the end, Amar finds me again to congratulate me. And with him are two other people. I instinctively use orange on them. And as I expected, it's Samira and Isabella.
I feel played somehow. As if I was set-up to do all this. I had just wanted to get away from Isabella, and yet somehow I walked into the same camp that she was in.
"Congratulations Dante," Amar says.
"Congratulations," Samira says as well.
And I'm shaking hands with all three, thanking them, as if I've done something great. And as if I was in on everything. As if what I did, actually changed something.
I really don't understand how the influence I've put upon these folks here will change anything. But I remember that Amar did say 'we'd see as we go.'
I have a sudden realization that I don't want much more to do with this plan. I'm sure Amar realizes that somehow, because he immediately says, "You did well. But, this is where I ask you if you would like to continue."
I have mixed feelings. Relief that I can get out of it. Disappointment that he would think I'd want to. Confusion, because the money a job (as a police officer) would give me, would be useful.
Again, almost as if he can read my mind, "You will be well compensated for your role thus far. You shouldn't need to work for a good number of years. And then you'll have enough funding to keep on with that app of yours."
"Holy..."
"My money guy will reach out, and deposit an appropriate amount of funds in an account in your name," he continues, seemingly oblivious to my reaction.
"T-thanks," I manage to blurt out.
"So, do you want to continue?" He asks again.
Based on the compensation he's mentioned, I can really stop. Do I want to stop? I can't tell if it makes sense to continue. "I can't see where the plan is necessarily going." I say aloud.
"You must be patient," he says. "It will all make sense in due time."
"But, why the subterfuge?" I ask. He doesn't trust me.
"Recall that I told you about how there are many minds - each trying to do what they think is best."
Minds? Oh. Vampires.
I nod.
"That is why," he says.
"Oh," I say. "Can I think about it?" I ask.
He looks disappointed for a second, but I ignore that.
"Of course," he says. "Let me know before Johns first shift. If you're curious, one of my...associates can take your place without much issue. Our work is not done, of course. The question is simply about your role in it. Either way, thank you again for the work you have done thus far." He shakes my hand, and leaves.
That leaves Samira, Isabella, and I alone together.
I'm about to leave too, but for some reason I decide to confront Samira instead. I don't know the best way to do it - so I opt to ask directly, "Why did you want Isabella to get close to me?"
She looks at me coolly. I can't tell if she did or did not anticipate the question. She gives nothing up with her facial expression. "Have you asked your maker the same question?" She asks.
"Yes," I reply. I'm forthcoming - even though I can sense she won't be. "His answer didn't make much sense," I said.
"What was his answer?" She asks.
"That you were hopelessly in love with him, and acting irrational because of that," I respond.
She flares her nostrils at that. "If our bylaws didn't protect you - no if you hadn't fallen into Amar's favor - I'd strike you down for uttering that filth. My reasons are my own, and I see no reason to share them with you."
As she walks away, she gestures to Isabella. And Isabella follows her like an obedient puppy. She looks at me apologetically, though I pretend not to see.
Well that was a failure. I should've played that better. There's no way for me to get anything out of her now. I guess I shouldn't care. I likely won't see them again.
Well, that's not true.
I have to first decide whether or not I want to continue on with this police officer stuff. If I continue, I'll probably have to see Samira and Isabella again.
I wonder if I should learn from Adão. It seems like he keeps out of most of these politics and stuff.
I haven't seen him often enough over the last 6 months. I hope he doesn't hold that against me. Honestly, I actually haven't seen him at all. This might be an awkward conversation. I'm like that kid who only goes home when he needs something from his parents.
Well, it can't be helped.
I need someone to talk to.