Between Us, Always

Dylan's POV

After that night, I found myself keeping a little more distance from Jun. It wasn't something I wanted to do, but I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe I was reading too much into things. Maybe my head was clouded, and it was just a phase. So, I decided to focus more on hanging out with Nano and Per, keeping things light. Per had been better, or at least a little less distant, and Nano always had a way of making everything seem a bit less heavy.

But I couldn't ignore the nagging feeling that lingered in the back of my mind. Every time I saw Jun and Thame together, laughing or talking about music, it felt like something inside me twisted. I had always known that Jun and Thame were close. They had been through a lot together, and their friendship was unshakable. But lately, it seemed like I was watching from the sidelines, and it bothered me more than I cared to admit.

I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but the more time Jun spent with Thame, the more it dug at me. It wasn't that I didn't trust them—of course, I trusted them both. It was just... the way Thame would casually touch Jun's arm, or the way their conversations would flow so naturally, as if they had their own little world. It made me feel like I was on the outside looking in.

I kept telling myself it was just jealousy, something that would fade. After all, Jun and I had never really crossed that line, right? We were friends. We were bandmates. That was all.

But still, I couldn't shake the feeling. The longer I watched Jun and Thame together, the more I found myself pulling back from Jun. Not because I didn't want to be around him—but because I didn't want to make things more complicated than they already were.

It wasn't until one afternoon, during a band practice break, that I caught myself staring a little too long at Jun and Thame. They were sitting on the floor, heads bent together over some new song idea Thame had come up with. The way Jun smiled, the way his eyes lit up when he talked to Thame... It hit me like a wave.

I was jealous. I was jealous of their closeness. Of the way Jun was so at ease with him.

I quickly turned away, trying to act like nothing was wrong. Per was nearby, looking at me with that ever-watchful expression. He probably knew something was up, but he didn't say anything. He never did.

"Everything okay?" he asked casually, tossing a water bottle in my direction.

"Yeah," I said quickly, not quite meeting his eyes. "Just tired, I guess."

He raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it, but he didn't press.

I told myself it was just a phase. That I was overthinking things. But as I watched Jun and Thame interact, the weight in my chest grew heavier. I could feel my patience wearing thin, but I was determined not to let it show. I couldn't risk ruining what I had with Jun, not when I wasn't even sure what this feeling was.

Maybe it was just a phase. But the more time passed, the more I realized I wasn't so sure anymore.

As the days went by, I threw myself into other distractions, finding solace in conversations with Nano and spending time with Per. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't ignore the pull of my eyes gravitating toward Jun and Thame. It was like my mind wouldn't let me rest. They were always so natural together, and I couldn't help but feel a little left out, like I was just another person in the background of their private world.

I tried to convince myself that it wasn't a big deal, that Jun and Thame were just... close, and that wasn't something to be threatened by. But whenever I saw the way Jun would laugh at something Thame said or how they would exchange those little looks that only close friends could share, something inside me twisted. I found myself pulling away from Jun, watching from a distance, and I hated myself for it. But it was easier this way, right? To keep a little space. To pretend I didn't care.

When it came time for band practice again, I barely spoke to Jun unless it was about the music. I watched him as he focused, his hands flying across the keyboard with ease, his expression so intent. And then there was Thame, sitting beside him, leaning in every now and then to share an idea or a suggestion. It wasn't anything special, not really. But to me, it felt like everything.

It was after practice that I noticed it more than ever. Jun was talking to Thame about an idea for a new song, his eyes alight with excitement. And when he smiled at Thame—genuinely smiled, like he always did—my chest ached.

I thought I had this under control. But now, as I stood on the other side of the room, I realized I was lying to myself. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand how easily Jun and Thame clicked. How everything between them seemed so natural. So perfect.

It was then that I realized the truth—I wasn't just feeling jealousy. I was feeling something more.

As Jun turned to me to share a quick thought about a song we had worked on together, I couldn't look him in the eye. I was too afraid that if I did, the truth would spill out. And I wasn't ready for that.

"Are you alright?" Jun asked, his voice gentle, concerned. I didn't want him to see the conflict inside me. I didn't want him to know I was breaking in silence.

"Yeah," I replied, forcing a smile, but it came out strained. "Just... tired, you know?"

He nodded, like he always did, and I could feel the weight of his gaze lingering on me for a moment longer. I hated that I was keeping distance from him, but at the same time, it felt like the only way to protect myself.

As the day went on, I stayed quieter than usual, not interacting as much with the others. I knew it wasn't healthy. I knew I was pushing Jun away, and I hated it. But what was I supposed to do? The more I saw him with Thame, the more I realized that maybe, just maybe, I was afraid to face the truth about how I felt.