Between Us, Always

Chapter 14

I knew what I'd done. I knew I'd hurt him. I could see it in the way he avoided my gaze, in the way he spent more time with the others, particularly with Thame or even Jun. But it wasn't the same. It wasn't like before.

I couldn't just let this go.

One evening, after dinner, I decided to find him. He wasn't in his room, so I went to the living room. When I walked in, I saw him sitting on the couch, his eyes glued to his phone. His posture was slumped, like he was tired, or maybe just disconnected. He wasn't looking at me, but I could feel the distance between us, a space that hadn't been there before.

I approached cautiously, the words I'd been holding in finally bubbling to the surface. "Nano..." My voice was soft, tentative.

He glanced up from his phone, and for a moment, our eyes met. He quickly looked away, almost as if he was trying to avoid it.

"Hey," I said again, sitting down beside him. "Can we talk?"

He didn't respond right away. I could feel him holding something back, and it was killing me. I had to ask. "You've been... avoiding me. Why?"

"I haven't," he replied, but I could hear the hesitation in his voice, the lie beneath the words.

"Don't lie to me, Nano. I know something's wrong. What did I do?" My voice cracked, but I couldn't stop myself. I needed to know. Needed to understand why he had pulled away.

Nano sighed, and for the first time, I saw him drop his usual façade. He seemed exhausted, emotionally drained. "Per... I'm just trying to give you space," he said quietly. "You've been going through a lot, and I don't want to make it worse by being around when you clearly don't need me."

I felt the weight of his words hit me like a ton of bricks. "You think I don't need you?" I asked, my voice breaking a little more than I intended.

His eyes flicked to me briefly before he looked away again. "You told me to stop following you. You told me to leave you alone, so I'm doing just that. I don't want to be a burden."

The guilt washed over me, heavy and suffocating. How could I have been so blind? How could I have pushed away the one person who had always been there for me? Nano had been my anchor, and I had thrown him away without even realizing the damage I was doing.

"I never meant to push you away," I said, my voice shaking. "I just... I didn't know how to deal with everything. With my feelings. With the breakup. But I never wanted to make you feel like you didn't matter. You're important to me, Nano. You always have been."

Nano's eyes softened, but there was still a distance in them. "I know, Per. I just... I don't know what to do anymore. You're going through so much, and I'm not sure how to be the person you need me to be."

"I need you to be here," I whispered, my heart aching. "I need you, Nano. More than anything. Please, don't pull away."

As I spoke those words, my chest felt like it might break from the weight of the truth. I needed him. More than I had let myself admit. The space between us was unbearable, and I could feel the lingering ache of everything I had said and done wrong. I just couldn't let him slip through my fingers anymore.

Nano sat still for a long moment, his eyes soft but uncertain. I could see the battle playing out in his mind—whether he should stay, whether I truly meant it. And then, without another word, I reached out and pulled him into a hug. It wasn't a grand gesture, just me folding him into the comfort of my arms, hoping the simple act could convey everything I was feeling.

"Please, don't leave me," I whispered, my voice barely audible against his shoulder. The words came from a place I hadn't let myself feel for a while, a vulnerability I had hidden away.

For a moment, Nano was stiff in my arms, but then he relaxed. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around me too. He didn't say anything at first, just held me there, and I could feel the tension draining out of his body as he let himself be present.

"I'm sorry, Per," he said quietly after a while. "I didn't mean to make things harder. I just... I didn't know how to handle it either."

I held him tighter, feeling the steady rhythm of his breathing against my chest. "You didn't make anything harder, Nano. I was just too caught up in my own mess to see what I was doing to you."

His eyes met mine, searching and uncertain, and then something flickered between us. Before I could process it, Nano leaned in, his lips brushing against mine in a soft, tentative kiss.

It started gently, almost as if he were unsure, testing the waters to see if this was real. But as the seconds passed, the kiss deepened, and he pulled me closer, his hands gripping me as if he were trying to hold on to something stable, something that felt right.

But as soon as it happened, we both pulled back, our breaths quick and shallow, staring at each other in stunned silence. Neither of us said anything immediately. The shock of what we had just done hung in the air, leaving us both wide-eyed and uncertain, especially Nano, who looked like he had just realized what had unfolded between us.