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[december 19, 2004]

"hello?" y/n said once she hesitantly brought her phone to her ear.

"heyyy, y/n." kaden's voice crackled through the speaker, attempting to sound casual, maybe even lighthearted, but she could hear the tension laced in his words. he was a little uncomfortable—not as uncomfortable as her, though. she felt like she could barely breathe. her grip on the phone was tight, her fingers cold and trembling. she knew this was going to happen, that the moment she heard his voice again, it would all come rushing back—the memories, the fights, the pain, the regret. she swallowed hard, staring blankly at the ceiling as she curled her free hand into a fist before forcing herself to unclench it.

her fingers twitched, moving restlessly, trying to channel her anxious energy into something other than the sheer panic rising in her chest. she felt so stupid for calling, for even entertaining this, but now she was here, listening to him like no time had passed.

of course, time had passed. enough time for her to hate him. enough time for her to move on—or at least pretend to. but it didn't feel that way now.

y/n stayed quiet.

her breathing was uneven, barely audible through the silence, but she knew kaden could probably tell something was wrong. she could feel his patience hanging in the air, waiting for her to say something, but she couldn't bring herself to. her mind raced, her thoughts overlapping—'what am i supposed to say? why did i even call him?' she asked herself repeatedly, she regretted choosing this but it was to leave and she sure as hell couldn't tell him about her recent issues. she wouldn't, or rather: she couldn't—this wasn't his problem.

the texts, the threats, the way her stomach twisted in fear—it had nothing to do with him. it would be selfish to dump all of this on him so suddenly, especially when she had no idea what he would even do with the information. would he care? would he think she was lying? would he make it worse?

no, she couldn't risk that.

her calling him was like walking on eggshells, and she had to be so careful with her words. one wrong move, one misplaced sentence, and it could all spiral out of control. and right now, she couldn't handle that. one more thing going wrong— no matter how tiny— would be enough to shatter whatever fragile hold she had on herself.

so instead, she just let the silence stretch, waiting to see if he would fill it. waiting to see if he would break first. kaden noticed her silence immediately. of course he did. he knew her better than anyone—knew the way her mind worked, the way she hesitated when she was overwhelmed, the way her breathing changed when she was trying not to cry. and despite being the very reason she was in this state, he still sighed, feigning patience.

he had missed her voice, that much was true, but he wasn't the type to beg. no, he wasn't going to crawl and cry for her to come back to him. if anything, she should be the one groveling at his feet, pleading for him to protect her, to save her from whatever mess she'd gotten herself into. isn't that obvious?