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𝔼𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕖 𝕃𝕖𝕚𝕝𝕒 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕖𝕣
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My heart was hammering so hard I swore he could hear it. My pulse roared in my ears, drowning out everything else, and I wished—God, I wished—the ground would just open up and swallow me whole.

This wasn't how I wanted him to know. This wasn't how I wanted to lose him. I did want Kai to stay away. I did want him to hate me. But not like this.

Not like this. He would never come back from this.

I pried myself out of his hold, my fingers trembling as I ran a hand through my hair, trying to steady myself, trying to breathe, trying to think—except I couldn't. My thoughts were jumbled, frantic, looping over themselves in a desperate attempt to make sense of what I'd just done. Of what I'd just told him.

"He didn't hurt me—I mean—" My voice cracked, and I sucked in a sharp breath. "Yes, he did hurt me?" It came out as a question. I shook my head quickly, my eyes darting around the room like I could find some sort of escape, like there was a way to backtrack, a way to unsay it, a way to fix this—except there wasn't.

I forced myself to focus, blinking rapidly as I tried to explain. "But not because I couldn't fight back, I just... I just froze for a moment, and then I fought back after that—"

"Emmaline." Kai's voice cut through the chaos, firm but cautious, like he was afraid if he spoke too loud, I would shatter. His frown deepened. "Slow down. What the hell are you talking about? Who?"

I was shaking. My whole body trembled, my hands rubbing down my face, dragging over my mouth, trying to steady my breathing, trying to keep myself from unraveling in front of him completely.

Okay.

I could do this.

I had to do this.

I swallowed, pressing my lips together, forcing my hands to drop to my sides before I looked at him again.

This was it.

I had just figured out how to fix things, how to control my powers, how to get back to him.

And now... now I had ruined it.

He was actually going to hate me.

I felt like I was going to be sick. But I couldn't take it back. I couldn't run. I wouldn't get in his head again. I would rather die than do that to him again.

"I found out where some of Donavan's men were," I started, voice unsteady, watching his jaw tighten the second I said it. "That night, when I went to talk to Evelyn, long story short, I found one of them, and each one led to the others."

Kai's brows furrowed. His shoulders tensed. "Emmaline—"

"No, actually," I cut him off quickly, my nerves fraying, my words tumbling out faster than I could control. "Four of them, my parents had already caught, so technically, till now, I only found two—or killed two on my own—"