the cut that always bleeds | t.oikawa ??

warning: pressuring situation, hint of sexual intercourse. proceed with caution.

the air in oikawa's bedroom felt heavier than usual, thick with something unspoken. the dim lighting cast shadows along the walls, the soft hum of music playing in the background, but Y/N barely registered any of it. her pulse thrummed beneath her skin, a nervous energy coiling tight in her stomach as oikawa sat beside her on the bed, far too close.

he had been touching her more all night—soft, lingering brushes of his fingers against her wrist, his palm resting on her thigh just a little too long. it wasn't unusual for oikawa to be affectionate, but tonight, it felt different. there was an edge to the way he looked at her, his brown eyes darker, more intense. the teasing glint she was so used to was still there, but beneath it lay something heavier, something expectant.

"you're so tense," he murmured, fingers ghosting over her arm before tracing up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "you don't have to be nervous around me, you know."

"i'm not nervous," Y/N lied, forcing a small laugh that sounded hollow even to her own ears. her hands twisted together in her lap, a telltale sign of her unease.

oikawa hummed, unconvinced, his hand sliding down to her jaw, tilting her chin so she had no choice but to meet his gaze. "you trust me, don't you?" he asked, his voice smooth, coaxing. the question made her stomach twist. she did—didn't she? he had been patient with her before, had never pushed too hard, always knowing just the right words to say. he made her feel wanted, special, like she was the only one in the world who mattered. but tonight, something about the way he held her gaze made her chest tighten with something she couldn't name.

"i do," she whispered, because that was the truth, wasn't it?

his smile softened, thumb brushing against her cheek. "then let me take care of you."

the words sent a shiver down her spine, but before she could respond, he was leaning in, pressing a lingering kiss to her lips. at first, it was familiar, gentle—but then it deepened. his fingers tangled in her hair, his free hand sliding over her waist, pulling her closer until there was no space left between them. she could feel the heat radiating off him, the way his breath hitched slightly when she hesitated.

every nerve in her body screamed at her to slow down, to pull away—but the moment she did, he let out a soft, almost wounded sigh against her lips.

"Y/N," he murmured, pressing his forehead to hers, his voice barely above a whisper. "you don't have to be scared. i just want to make you feel good."

her throat tightened. it wasn't that she didn't want to make him happy—it was that she wasn't sure she was ready. but how could she say that when he was looking at her like this, when his touch sent a warmth curling in her stomach despite the apprehension clawing at her chest?

he kissed her again, slower this time, as if sensing her hesitation. his fingers traced along her arms, down to her hands, prying them apart so he could lace them with his own. "i promise i won't hurt you," he whispered between kisses. "i just want to be close to you."

she wanted to believe him. she wanted to ignore the nagging voice in the back of her mind, telling her that this was too fast, that she wasn't ready. but he made it sound so easy—like it was something inevitable, something natural. and the last thing she wanted was to disappoint him.

so when his hands slid lower, when he pressed her back against the mattress with a careful sort of urgency, she let him. even as doubt gnawed at her, even as her heart pounded for a reason that had nothing to do with anticipation, she let him.

she told herself it was okay. that this was what people in love did. that oikawa cared about her, that he wouldn't do anything to hurt her.

but as the night went on, as his touches became more insistent, more claiming, the uneasy feeling in her stomach never went away. and when it was over—when she lay beside him, his arm draped over her waist, holding her close—she didn't feel whole like she thought she would.