Montage // Billie Eilish

1. Funfair date (as seen in Never Been Kissed; Love, Simon). I was one date in and already two movies behind, so we agreed I would watch at least one per date. Sabrina was convinced that once I got into it I'd watch them all of my own accord anyway. I remained skeptical.
          a. Meaningful eye contact. I talked Sabrina into making this an addendum to date #1. It wasn't a date per se so it couldn't get its own category and by extension she couldn't add any more movies to the list. 

2. One person teaches the other a skill (as seen in Say Anything..., Imagine Me & You). Slightly concerning as I don't have any discernible skills, but maybe Sabrina was hiding a talent for tennis or pottery. Something where she'd have to get up close and personal to teach me. 

3. Karaoke. Where one or both people reveal their hidden singing talent or lack thereof (as seen in My Best Friend's Wedding, 500 Days of Summer) I protested this one vehemently, pointing out we'd already done karaoke. Sabrina insisted that I hadn't sung so it didn't count. I privately decided I'd work on convincing her to replace this with something less horrifying. 

4. Frolicking (as seen in all of them, apparently). I was still unconvinced by this but Sabrina's insistence that it would be found in any rom-com gave me a solid argument for not adding any more specific movies to my watch list. 

5. Performing a synchronised dance routine (as seen in 13 Going on 30, Easter Parade). I was starting to realize that it was going to be hard to get through this summer with my dignity intact. 

6. Movie night (as seen in To All the Boys I've Loved Before, Notting Hill). Obviously this should be replete with the tension of imminent kissing in the air. 

7. Passionate kissing in the rain (as seen in Four Weddings and a Funeral, Breakfast at Tiffany's). OK, I was totally on board for this one. 

8. Date on a rowboat (as seen in The Proposal, 10 Things I Hate About You). I was not looking forward to rowing. My arms got tired when I was blow-drying my hair. 

9. Having one of those "No, you hang up" conversations on the phone (as seen in The Truth About Cats & Dogs, Pillow Talk). She really had to dig into the vault for this one. 

10. The slow dance (as seen in The Gay Divorcee, When Harry Met Sally...). Sabrina explained that this was different from the dance routine, which was meant to be fun and playful. The slow dance was romantic and passionate. They were both dances as far as I was concerned but I let it slide. Call me a hopeless romantic. 

After the funfair date, I felt giddy and bouncing off the walls with energy. I went home and it hit me that there was no one to tell. Briefly, I wondered what it would be like to tell Quen. We used to talk a lot about me and Odessa, especially when we first started dating. She never made it weird that we were all friends and suddenly the two of us had gotten together. Part of me wanted to call her and tell her. I knew that if I did, we could fall right back into our friendship. If I let that happen. But I couldn't. 

I told myself I was only thinking of her because there was no one else. I certainly didn't want to tell Dad, and although I had told Mom, it isn't the same when she doesn't really get what it means. I wondered how she'd react if she didn't have dementia and she knew that I was with someone other than Odessa. But then, if she was okay, maybe I would still be with Odessa. 

I let myself splash around in those thoughts for approximately ten minutes and then I locked them in a box and put them away. I was afraid that if I let them out for too long, they'd take over.