???? ????? ???????, p lahote (on hold)

⎯ ADRENALINE JUNKIE

THE CAFETERIA WAS AS CHAOTIC AS EVER, a cacophony of voices blending with the clatter of trays and the hum of students moving in every direction. Joan sat at her usual spot near the far corner of the room, watching the hustle and bustle around her. It wasn't quite loneliness, but the isolation felt familiar, comfortable even. She didn't mind it much, had gotten used to it by now. She preferred it that way.

But today was different.

Her eyes found Bella, sitting alone at the Cullen table. The once vibrant gathering of Edward and his family had become sparse. The empty seats around Bella were stark reminders of the silence that had fallen over her. Bella's face was turned downward, her hair falling forward as she poked at the food on her tray without eating. Her movements were sluggish, distant, like she was trying to blend into the quiet rather than engage with it.

The sight made Joan's chest tighten. Bella hadn't been herself for weeks, ever since Edward had left. Joan knew the whispers that circled around her, the rumors that floated like ghosts. They said Bella was broken, that she was lost in her grief. And maybe they were right. But Joan couldn't help but wonder if Bella even realized how badly she had pulled away. She wanted to help her sort of friend.

There was a moment, a hesitation in Joan's chest, before she stood. Without quite thinking, she grabbed her tray and moved toward the empty seat at the Cullen table.

Bella didn't seem to notice her at first, and for a moment, Joan thought she might turn around and leave, but then Bella glanced up, her tired, half-lidded eyes meeting hers. The brief flicker of surprise, followed by the smallest shift in her expression, was all the invitation Joan needed.

"Is this seat taken?" Joan asked quietly, standing awkwardly by the edge of the table.

Bella blinked slowly and shrugged. "I don't mind." she muttered. Her voice sounded dry, almost as if she hadn't spoken in hours. She didn't look at Joan again, her gaze returning to the tray in front of her.

Joan sat down, her tray clattering against the table a little too loudly in the otherwise silent air. She wasn't sure what to say. The space between them felt heavy, thick with things neither of them spoke about. Still, Joan didn't mind the silence. It was better than forcing words neither of them had the energy for.

For a long while, Joan didn't say anything. She ate her lunch slowly, glancing at Bella occasionally, but not pushing her. Bella was like a bird perched at the edge of the table, her wings tucked in, her feathers ruffled by invisible winds. Joan had learned that pushing didn't help. Not with Bella. Sometimes, it was better to just be there, even if Bella never acknowledged it.

Eventually, Bella moved her food around her tray, stirring a spoon through her mashed potatoes without lifting a bite. Joan couldn't help but wonder if she was doing it to fill the space rather than out of hunger.

"You know." Joan started, her voice surprisingly soft as she tried to break the silence, "you don't have to eat if you're not hungry."

Bella's head jerked up slightly, her eyes catching Joan's for a split second before looking away. "I'm fine." she muttered, her tone distant, like she wasn't quite present in the conversation.

Joan didn't respond right away. She let the words hang there, floating in the thick air between them. She could feel Bella retreating again, pulling into herself like she had been doing for so long, ever since that night in the forest when Edward had disappeared from her life. But Joan wasn't about to leave her like this. Not now.