|| ??? ??? ?? ?????? ??????? || [Dipper Pines X F!Reader]

?─────??In His Mind??─────?

     My heart twinges at the scene. I remember it so thoroughly. The both of us, standing at the edge of trees, ready to head into town. But she wasn't ready, not yet. I see myself hugging (Y/N) to calm her down, and she's crying profusely. I can hear her words in the back of my mind. I see her mouth them, and say them for her. "There is so much you don't know... but I can't tell you anything.. I can't". Tears brim in my eyes, 'she was right.' "There was so much I didn't know. I thought you were a Mermaid. I blindly followed your words... Why did you lie to me, (Y/N)?" The memory fades away, and I wipe my tears. The next memory comes, and out of the corner of my eye, I see another door a small distance away. I keep my attention on the memory at hand.

     I see her on a bean bag, a children's book in her hands, reading to a group of kids in a circle around her. I walk around in the memory, glancing at myself in a chair. I look so lovestruck, and I can't help but snicker at the silly expression I had on. I sit among the memory kids, watching (Y/N) mutely read from the book. I lean back on my hands, enjoying the silent moment. I take a deep breath, and it fades away. I close my eyes, and I can still see it behind the lids. (Y/N) looking so gentle and sweet. I slowly stand up and look around the new memory. The second I spot it, my heart leaps in my chest, and my face warms up.

     I see the both of us in the forest again, close. Real close. I'll never forget this moment, my first kiss. I can practically feel the sensation again, my arms around her waist, feeling like my heart was being cradled by an angel. "But you weren't an angel, were you (Y/N)?" I whisper, tilting my head to the side slightly when the memory me does, reminiscing on the feeling. I close my eyes, and when I open them, I see the memory is gone, replaced by another.

     I see us in a small clearing of trees, a rock in front of us. I look behind me, seeing the lake. My heart, which was still racing, drops to my knees. I quickly look at (Y/N), seeing her sketchbook in her hands. She was flipping through it. I could see her mouthing words, but I didn't want to remember what she was saying. I stumble back. "I don't want to see this." I mumble. The memory of me hugs her from the side a bit, and I back away more. I see (Y/N) look down, and tears brim in those beautiful black eyes... "Please! I don't want to see this again. PLEASE!" I look away sharply, feeling tears sting my eyes. I notice that door again, and run for it. Anything to get me away from this memory!

     I turn the handle and push the door open. I run in, slamming the door behind me and breathing a sigh of relief. I run a hand over my perspiring forehead and wipe away the few tears that escaped. "Thank goodness... Now where am I?" I scan the area for a memory, but I can't see any people. All I see is the pier, the trees, the water, and Scuttlebutt Island in the distance.

     I walk down the length of the pier, sitting and the end with my legs over the edge, gently kicking back and forth through the phantom water. I can't hear the splashes, nor does the water ripple. I kick the water with a heartbeat pace, slowly willing the sound into existence.

     I can hear the birds; seagulls, sparrows, and woodpeckers... The white noise of the lake calms my storming mind. I close my eyes to tune in completely to the gentle splashes of water. It's so peaceful here, just like always. This place is perfect.

     "Dipper, don't go." I hear her. (Y/N). 'Why did she have to be here? Can't I have a peaceful lucid dream?' I turn back to make sure I wasn't hearing things, and I spot her. I give the Siren a fiery glare. "Please, just hear me out!" She says desperately. I shake my head, my mind fighting my heart in every which way.

     "No! Why would I do that? Why give you another chance to trick me?" I stand up slowly, never letting my eyes leave her. I cross my arms and sneer at her. I can see the hurt in her eyes, and I try my best to look past it. My heart aches in my chest. My eyes burn.  "Is that what this dream was really for?  Did you do this?"

     "Dipper, please-" She starts, but I don't let her finish, terrified of what it could be.

     I cover my ears and yell at her. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD! I told you not to talk to me, to stay away!!" My eyes blur as new tears overflow. I turn away from the Siren and wipe the tears away.

     The silence that follows my outburst is deafening, and my heart clenches so tight it feels like it will burst. "Fine..." I hear (Y/N) whisper. I look up at her with confusion. "I'll stay away." She finishes. "I'm sorry that I overstepped your boundary."

     I turn to face her completely. I reach out to her slowly, my hand shaking. "W-WaIt-" I clear my throat. "How... Do you keep doing this!?" I gesture around the both of us, feeling my throat close up.

     I look at the Siren as she stares at the ground. Her body takes that scarier, sharper, more dangerous look. "Dream sharing" (Y/N) mumbles. "It was on that page of mine."

     "T-Then... Can you do me a favour? In the name of our past.. Whatever it was, can you burn the paper, and never do this again!?" I say softly, but not without hiding my anger. I start feeling smaller and smaller. She nods slowly, stepping away.

     "I can do that, for you." She looks up at me, and those black voids give me so many mixed feelings. "I promise to leave you alone permanently and burn the paper..." I nod a few times and turn away. I sit back down on the pier, hiding the tears. I hear that soft voice behind me, cracking ever so slightly with emotion. "Goodbye, Dipper."

     "I told you not to call me by name, but..." I take a deep breath. "Goodbye (Y/N)." I look back, but she's already gone. My gaze falls, and I wonder if she heard it. "I... I want to be sorry, so bad. But... I don't know what to think. You make me so confused, (Y/N)." The scene fades, and I'm left sitting in the cold darkness. I mumble, knowing she can't hear it. "I'm so confused.."

     Slowly, I open my eyes, and I immediately recognize where I am. I look around my room and sigh heavily, feeling my mind storm. 'Is this how Great Uncle Ford felt when Bill wouldn't leave him alone? Annoyed and... torn?'

     "Dipper! I need a hand with some sample collecting, if you're interested!" Speak of the devil. Well, not the demon, just Great Uncle Ford.

     "I'll be right there!" I call back, cleaning off the last remnants of tears and heading downstairs for a good distraction from all this.

[Word Count: 2044]