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Y/n
August 2nd 2008
Instead of paying attention to my lecture, I was looking out the tall window. I wasn't actually looking at anything. I was thinking about what I could get Manjiro for his birthday. I remembered his gift for my birthday a week or two ago. He just gave me his card and told me to go buy whatever I wanted. Should I do the same? No! I have to buy him something..
But I didn't know what my boyfriend liked anymore. Lately I feel like I don't even see him. Our schedules were different all day every day. And in the nights we would have sex and fall asleep. We didn't have time to talk. Sometimes we would even just fall asleep right away. If I had to compare it to the feeling I was getting from Manjiro at the beginning- now he wasn't warm and welcoming.
I didn't know if he loved me anymore. I couldn't tell if he felt anything at all. Now he looked like that lost boy in my room. This version of him was the one I was most afraid of. It was strange how time made me get used to him and still love him. But sometimes, I felt like he had me for a complete mockery. Nothing of what he does and says now is nice and caring.
I finished early today because the last lecture was postponed. The weather was so sunny and pleasant. I didn't want to go inside. I thought it would be a good idea to take a walk, even alone. I just had to go home and change.
When I entered the apartment, I could hear a loud female laugh, coming from Manjiro's office. Who on earth was that? I opened the door without knocking. Inside were Sanzu, Manjiro, and some woman next to Manjiro. She was literally glued right next to him on the chair. Her hand was somehow sliding and caressing my boyfriend's back. She was even playing with his hair. The three of them were looking at something on the laptop in front of them, which the unknown woman was showing and explaining.
A sharp pain shot through me. I had never seen another woman around him like that before. It hadn't even crossed my mind. In other words, "jealousy" didn't exist in my life yet. He never gave me reasons to. But just two minutes ago, the nasty feeling invaded me like a demon.
"What the fuck Manjiro? Who the hell is she?"
He looked up, as if he didn't notice me inside his office. But I'm sure he already knew that. "Oh.. what was your name again?" - he turned to the woman who was almost sitting on his lap. It was as if he had just seen her too.
"Ha-ha my name is Hideko, you know that Mikey" - her laugh was the fakest I had ever heard.
"Her name is Hideko." - Manjiro replied. Did those two thought I was stupid? Did they sleep together? At that moment thousands of thoughts flooded my head.
"Hideko, can you get the fuck out of here, like right now!" - I said ironically and crossed my arms. She stood up and pulled her skirt down. The woman stepped away from Manjiro and looked at him once more. He just nodded indifferently and she quickly and nervously disappeared from the office.
